Married IT staff in engineering firm is harassing my wife

So I discovered this after browsing my wife’s phone while looking for an important message and chanced upon a WhatsApp conversion between her and the IT staff.

The IT staff was sending my wife messages like “love u”, “I want to hug you”, ”I want to pinch your cheeks”, “I love your scent”. This married man who has 2 kids has the cheek to continuously send this to my wife for over the period of 2 years.

He helps my wife a lot on IT matters but through that sends these disgusting messages..

This abuse of position really makes me sick.

I have all the past evidence of the conversations in hand.

Should I let this go?

Netizens’ comments

• I’m invested. So, what kind of replies did your wife give during these alleged harassments??
• Was her replies like “reboot me please” or “please force shutdown my machine”
• Maybe the funny IT guy was sending her password reset phrases?
• I have good news and bad news for you bro…. the good news is I don’t think your wife is being harrassed

I was born in Singapore but left when I was 5 and currently live in the United States as a US citizen age 28M.

I visited Singapore once as a teenager and haven’t been back since. As my grandparents get older, I’d like to see them before they pass. I tried to renounce my citizenship via the Singapore embassy in San Francisco and received a rejection letter explaining that I’m classified as an NS defaulter.

I have heard success stories of folks in my position and am wondering if anyone more knowledgeable about the topic could advise me on the next steps.

Doing research on the topic, it’s clear that there is a procedure my parents were supposed to follow but did not.

So I’m not looking to be re-educated on this protocol but would instead like to understand paths forward to correct these mistakes. Thanks much for your help!

Edit: obviously won’t be acting on Reddit advice alone but will be using it as lead generation before doing due diligence. Will consult legal professionals before even considering stepping foot in Singapore.

To make it exceedingly clear, the only way I’ll volunteer to go back is with a blessing from the government. However I am also interested in hearing off the book experiences.

Here are what netizens think:

• Go to Malaysia. Ask your relatives to go to Malaysia to reunite.

• You’d get arrested at the airport if you come back. I’ve relatives in the same situation as you.

• I mean it’s the law. It’s not a matter of being kind or being petty. You could propose that the govt turn a blind eye towards defaulters but half the population probably got something to say about that.

• There are no success stories within SG’s borders. Don’t act based on hearsay accounts. We’ve shown you facts in the form of concrete cases that have happened and reported in the news. TDLR; you will be arrested and jailed then deported, don’t even think of trying.

My husband has anger management issues. Will always pick fights with me and will strangle and beat me up when angry. It started with him raising his voice at me when angry. Then he started throwing things at me. Later he punched walls. Kicked chairs. And finally he laid hands on me.

When he started to lay his hands on me, I secretly went to the doctor to have the injuries documented. I made police reports online against my husband and submitted the medical evidence.

I did all these without telling my husband.

He’s been convicted and sentenced to jail before for verbally and physically assaulting some strangers in the past.

The police contacted me and asked if I wanted to pursue my case. I said not yet and made the police reports simply to have the evidence documented and recorded. And as a protective measure.

So far several such police reports have been made.

I don’t hope for him to go to jail again yet I feel that I needed to do what I did to protect myself.

I am not sure what to make of our marriage. What’s a marriage without trust. I do not trust that he has my interest at heart at all. I do not trust him to protect and keep me from harm. He’s become the very source of my fear and danger.

Divorce him, everyone says. It’s easier said than done. I have put up with so much and for so long. I am emotionally and physically battered. I am not sure I can be independent. I am not sure if I ever will find anyone. Who will want to be with someone damaged like me? Who can? Who will be able to understand? Most importantly, I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. I failed myself and committed myself to a man who’s abusive towards me and put up with it for years. I am a divorcee. Is happiness still within reach?

Hindsight, my confidence. My beauty. My intelligence. My independence. All these are perhaps what made my husband feel extremely insecure. Especially when other men give me attention. What made him feel he needs to “reign me in” by all means.

He began doing and saying various things to chip at my confidence. He beat me up to mar my looks. And through his actions slowly and surely he turned me into someone timid. Unsure.

Nowadays, though when I look into the mirror I still see a pretty lady, I feel ugly, humiliated and defeated inside because of the way I have been treated.

Sometimes I cry. But I cry mostly because of how I let this happen to me. If there’s anyone I am angry at it’s myself. Out of love I chose to continue to trust despite him abusing that trust. Out of love I chose him over me when he continued to choose himself over and over. Out of love I tolerated and took the beatings and verbal abuses. And overtime, I lost myself and now I feel like an empty vessel running on an empty tank with nothing more to give.

The physical injuries heal, but the emotional damage from abuse is permanent. I am not the same person as I was before him. And that perhaps is what saddens me most. The me I used to know is gone forever.

My (f28) SIL “Amy” (f26) always comes to visit from out of town.

She stays with us instead of a hotel, and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet, or domes up with some excuses as to why she can’t pay her share.

She has implied that since I make much more money than her, I should be the one to pay (no, not my husband should pay, but me specifically). I do make a fair amount of money, but not so much that I can treat someone every time they come into town. Nonetheless, in the past, I have just paid the bill and asked her to pay me back. She never has.

She had made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, and before we left, I made it clear that I wouldn’t be paying her bill.

This is where I might be the punk, and I’ll admit I got this move straight from and episode of Two and a Half men. As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant.

When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said no, we need one bill, because she “forgot” her wallet again. I reached in my purse and said, “this wallet?”

She was extremely furious. She said that I should not have touched or grabbed her wallet.

So am I wrong for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant?

MY wife left me for my best friend and I’m still destroyed about it

Everyone is sick of me, so I just need a place to scream into the void.

My wife of 3 years left me for my best friend while I was at my grandpa’s funeral under the guise of polyamory, and then strung me along for 3 months until she eventually broke up with me.

The only reason I didn’t just leave right away is I trusted her more than I respected myself, since she was my wife. I always grew up with the express perspective that I would die alone, and never marry since I can only imagine divorce. But she changed that, I really felt like we had a future.

Well, I’m back to the mindset there is no relationship built to last. That was my first and last foray into marriage, and it’s incredibly painful.

Evidently I’m the problem. Both of my two closest people left me and told me they left to be happier. All the time they spent with me was time they happily left behind in hopes of being happy. That surely must mean I’m a toxic person with a toxic personality.

To corroborate that, every single other friend I have almost actively avoids me I feel like. It could be because I’m annoying, I talk too much, I’m too insecure, I’m too critical, I don’t care. I just wish someone in my life would care about me, and not leave me. But I’m starting to realize that that’s a really tall order.

At this point I really want to stop the tidal waves of pain that surges through my mind and heart. I’m so unhappy now, and I’ve been on the edge of things for a while now. I just need something to keep me from falling.

If you read this, thank you. I hope you have a nice day

Am I making a mistake for wanting a different life?

My mother said to me, and my brother that we’re an investment.

She talked about how she invested so much money, and time in us, and she expects us to pay her back, spend our money with her, and give her an easy life.

I don’t mind helping her, she’s my mom after all, but this is seriously messed up, please don’t have kids for that reason.

The thing is, my brother and I barely make enough to survive and our mother don’t even bother to save up any money she said that we will give her money when she has none.

So my brother and I showed her our bank account. We had less than $10,000 in combine savings. (We are still young).

She expects a profit from raising us and that is just wrong on so many levels.

Here are what netizens think:

• My mother, when she was dying, said she realizes she favored the wrong child. The golden child left her to die like a dog. That would make my sibling a terrible investment.

• She does know that not all investments pay off, right? Sometimes people will lose money. That’s just how life is.

• And children are an investment with a risk level of retirement fund in dogecoin.

• Same here. I’m the one who took care of my mom when she was dying of cancer. My older sister couldn’t even be bothered to attend her funeral.

• Yeah sometimes people build a house and it gets set on fire. Nothing is a guarantee.

A man recently visited a KTV at Geylang and said that he was shocked to find out the rates of KTV entertainment has increased sharply.

He said that before the pandemic the prices were much cheaper and it has grew 500%.

Here is the story:

I went to a KTV at Geylang and of course, there will be tips for the girls and mama san. When I just started out at this kind of joint it was around $20-$30 for tips.

Nowadays it is mostly $50 to $100 for the girl to sit with you.

So not long after the Vietnam girl sat down, she asked if I wanted to go hotel with her. I asked for the price and she said: “short time 500 long time 1,000”.

I jitao stun, $1k?! siao ah, I can buy an air ticket to go Bangkok find a different one every night and come back still got money left over.

The girl says now covid price is different, I say what covid? not enough chicken supply same Malaysia ah then the price go up until like that.

Or the world now has a shorter supply of females.

I thought it was this particular joint or this particular girl, I asked around my other friends who go KTV and told us that this has been the price since circuit breaker and the price has not gone down.

For those who wants to find some fun at some KTV, I rather you fly straight to Vietnam. Cheaper more fun and more choices.

Guys, does it matter if the girl you date or marry is a V or not?

Please be very honest. I am curious to what men think about this topic in this day and age.

On a side note, I was really worried because I come from a fairly traditional family and I was waiting for marriage. Went on a date some time ago, got too drunk and lost my v-card.

I felt so guilty and it didn’t help that the guy said he is down for just dating but couldn’t offer me any commitment beyond that. He didn’t want marriage or kids and didn’t want a relationship until he was sailing well in his career.

So no commitment for the next five years.

I felt really hurt and it isn’t helping that my period is late and I am freaking out about a possible pregnancy (chances are really slim as I took the morning after pill and pregnancy tests are negative so far).

But I feel like I screwed up my own future? In my native culture, arranged marriage would have been an option to fall back on had I been 30 and still single. But that might not be an option anymore! I am also not sure if someone new I date in the future will mind my past.

If I somehow am pregnant, the dad would not be in the picture I am pretty certain (and he went back to his own country so that complicates things), and my parents will probably disown me. My only saving grace is I earn pretty well enough to support a kid and myself.

This is such a sad situation and I will always have a lifetime of regret in having my first time with someone I didn’t love.

Anyways that btings me to my question, does it matter to you it the girl is not a V?

words like damaged goods being used…