Female Managers with Issues

I’m a female myself and I find working with female managers so difficult. When you’re working as a certain occupation, the chances of working under a female manager is high.

Real life experiences of female managers with issues:

1. In her 60s, single, will call you into her office just to nag/tell stories while you’re standing beside her for 1 HOUR (btw she’s sitting down comfortably).

2. In her 40s, single, talking one big round for 1 HOUR just to hear you apologise before finally calming down.

3. In her 30s, married with no kids, nitpicking on every single piece of work submitted (such as font type, font size, alignment, comma, full stop), providing ‘feedback’ about you to your current supervisor on ridiculous stuff.

Work is already difficult enough. Can these type of people just calm the f down.

Netizens’ comments

1. Next time you reach their age see how you behave.
2. Female in my 40s here. Married with kids. No comments about the first two but the last, yes.
   You could have written an awesome piece of work, but if you don’t pay attention to the details, you are simply spoiling your own work.
   Alignment, font types and punctuation exist for a reason. And if you get to this age without knowing how to use proper punctuation, I can only say they closed one eye hiring you.
   Aren’t you embarrassed you had to be called into her office for such small issues? If you cannot handle the small stuff, how to handle the big ones? Bear in mind the work we churned out is an advertisement of our abilities.
   How much effort you put into your work is also a reflection of how much you value this job.

we broke up because he wants to experience sleeping around

It’s really difficult for me to fully process our breakup. We (21M, 19F) dated for around 3 years and he would say often that I am the perfect girl for him and an amazing girlfriend.

He even started a business when we were dating, and for over a year I helped him almost daily, I would take him out for dinner every 5k followers he got on his IG,

I’d help him with his social media, get him more sales at pop-ups and even approach strangers and tell them about his business. I did more for him in the relationship in regard to his love language etc.

We were also very compatible in bed as well so this hurts more as it’s so confusing how he can say our intimacy is mindblowing but he also wants to experience life single.

I just cannot comprehend why he did not value me. He says he thinks I am beautiful inside and out, inspires him to be a better person, that his parents love me and he thinks I’m so smart and funny, etc.

He mentioned how incredibly happy I make him and that 90% of the time he is happy but 10% of the time he is sad but it’s because I am sad about something. But this is the conclusion.

It’s just so hurtful I cannot comprehend how he would leave JUST for that :/

Recently graduated with Flexible Combined Honours and still jobless at 26(M).

Know of friends with masters can only find degree jobs with 3k+ pay. Meanwhile, friends who went to LaSalle (3 years) then Kaplan (1 year) became manager at 23.

Also, know of many who went to private schools after sec school are now damn rich after starting their business for years or already hold high corporate ranks at my age. Wonder if the normal educational path we are going through is even worth it?

We are just going to start working much later and climb the corporate rank much later than them. Same age but they are already our bosses. Besides that, our local uni certs seem nothing to companies as they are okay with hiring those from private uni/diploma (which lesser years to complete them). Moreover, uni certs are only useful for our 1st two jobs.

So is going through the normal educational path worth it? Something parents can think about for their kids.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you don’t have the skills to start maintain (starting is relatively easy) a business or go freelance, then that is a moot point. Uni is to give you generic as well as specific skills to enter the market.

• Don’t assume all private school students are not capable. Some were not good at A levels some just wanted a faster graduation.

• Private college grads also have to look hard for jobs…

• The truth is fch means nothing, what matters is your degree. A stem degree second lower can easily earn more than fch in other degrees in today’s demand. Also, degree does matter, what failed is probably your degree and interview… scroll through linkedin you notice alot of the directors have quite impressive degrees and experience.Manager is just starting point, aim bigger man…. They will soon notice their private school degree hinders their beyond manager promotion

• “Manager” title also must see what kind of manager is that. Insurance Agent or salesman also can call themselves Senior Manager or even Director. Some people set up business and call themselves “Director” when it’s actually just a one-man show and the title is just to meet stat requirements. Joke! A local uni degree is definitely still much more valuable than a private uni degree. There’s a reason why local unis are so well recognised globally.

How to communicate with a manager that doesn’t want to communicate?

I’m at my wit’s end.

My new manager who joined for 2 months, is slowly cutting my colleague and I off, and keeping us in the dark about almost everything. This was after we tried talking to her to get things moving. We have upcoming events as early as next month but no specific instructions coming from her even now.

Everything is just hanging in the air, and even the general direction keeps changing too. It’s so hard to do anything even if we want to take the initiative. If we keep waiting, we are going to get scolded by top management for sure.

My colleague and I have talked to our General Manager about this issue but we were told to give her more time and chance. It is apparent to the people below her that she is incapable of doing the job, but the top management wants to let her try.

It is so demoralising to go to work nowadays, and I loathe her presence. I contemplated leaving my job because of her but now I think why should I be the one to leave this somewhat wonderful company.

What else can I do while I hope for her to leave the company?

Here are what netizens think:

• Unless you are working in a uniform group where you strictly need to take orders from your superiors, you (or your colleagues) can step up and cover things that she should be doing. I’m sure your GM will notice that you step up and assist the new manager and it will look good for you during your next performance review.

• Get her resume (thru LinkedIn or something), send it to other employers. 

• Samw thing happened to me. That manager got terminated shortly before 3 months.

• Hope u wont be the next one to go. U already say your new manager. Why dont give people a chance to learn? U also once a newbie. Why go behind people back and talk to management. If u were in her shoes, how u feel? Correct me if i am wrong, u wanna to prove to management, u can take over her role?

Hao Lian vs Sharing achievement

Been going to therapy to address some childhood trauma and deconstructing the personalities that I have created because of that. One of the things that I remember was learning to stop sharing my achievement.

I learnt early on as a child that sharing achievement earn envy from my peers. People would call me hao lian and even teachers tell me to stop because the other students complained.

I realize that sharing my achievement is actually my way of gauging myself and strive for self improvement. Because improvement is a constant journey. You achieve one checkpoint, there will always be a next checkpoint, or else you will stagnate in place. It was kinda my was of communicating “Hey, I achieved this. Is this good? What’s the next mission?”

But I didn’t realize that sharing my achievement to the wrong people will actually hurt them emotionally at the time. I didn’t mean to bring them down. I was always happy to share my experience so people can follow in my footsteps, or even critique and point out there are better footsteps to follow or make adjustments to my current footsteps so to make more improvement.

I now have the choice to see myself as a hao lian person growing up or I just grew up in an envious environment that demands conformity.

Just wondering, are there people out there that grew up in an environment where you get to share your achievements growing up without malice and people give you constructive criticism instead of just criticizing you out of jealousy?

Do life insurance agents actually make a lot of money?

So basically, I have a few friends from high school who think they become a business guru and constantly post on Instagram and Facebook about how they’re “helping families” and saying they may $1200 off for two policies. Every single week they are bragging about how much money they’re making and it just seems off/too good to be true. So here are my questions…

It seems like all life insurance agents do this (at least the ones I know) why do they constantly brag about their income? Is there an incentive to bringing in more people to the company (like an MLM)?

Also, if the amount of income they are bringing in is actually true, does that mean life insurance policies in the whole are just a money-grabbing scam?

Any insight is appreciated 🙂

Here are what netizens think:

• Ultimately it’s a sales job so it’s probably commission based. If you have the intangibles you be a really good salesperson – the charisma, the persuasiveness etc – then you can probably make a very good living.

• Lots of hours, plastering your social media with info trying to drum up more business, constantly networking… For a person who genuinely enjoys grinding and selling, it can be a great job. For the 99.9% of people who don’t find it rewarding in its own right, it is an exhausting, nerve-wracking slog.

• It’s not MLM, in that the whole thing isn’t actually a scam which operates solely on getting new people to buy in, but basically they do have incentives to bring new people in, as described above.

I watch my momma eat alone and it broke my heart

I dont really get emotional. But today my mommy had some errands to run and was asking if any of my siblings wanted to go with her. They all said no, and I felt bad leaving my momma to do them herself, so I went with her. It was a lot. I helped her with things she did daily by herself. At first I was angry because I didn’t really want to go, I only went because I felt bad, but I told myself to suck it up and eventually I was cool with tagging along.

After about an hour or so we were done. I was tired, she was tired and we went home. Yet even when we got home she had a bit of work to do. After she finished that, she warmed herself up some left overs that were in the fridge.

there’s barely food in the house..

and I knew it probably wasn’t enough for her but she never complained. Not once, not all day, she never complained. I complained about there being nothing to eat, which there was. Just things that I didn’t want to eat. I later ending up settling for cereal.

I walked past her room to see her eating all alone and my heart shattered. I don’t know why, but it hurt to see her like that. I walked to my room holding back tears.

Growing up, my mother and I never had the best relationship. I used to give her hell when I was younger. I was a very emotionally driven teenager. I’m 17 now. I’ve learned to communicate more with my mother and for the past year we’ve been great. My mom and my dad aren’t together so it’s just her raising all of my siblings.

I am so ungrateful. I was angry for dragging myself to help my own mother, and made noise about food that I didn’t want.

Meanwhile she’s eating food that no one wants, and ran errands and not one single complaint.

She deserves so much more 😭💔

Guys, please advise me on what I should do?

I am working in one of the tech companies with a team of 3 members. Recently, we had a change of mentor and the incoming mentor doesnt seem to be very friendly.

I remembered the very first time he entered the office, he laid down some very weird rules.

1. We are to call him Dr. GX and not by his name. – Even though our company culture allows us to address each other like friends, he told us that this is for formality purpose and having an “advanced degree”, he deserves to be addressed that way relative to the commoners.

2. No mingering during working hours. – In the past, we have some “loudspeakers” in the company lighting up the stressful atmosphere with their jokes but now, things are different. Everytime he walks into the office, the atmosphere changes. He would give us the death glance and I remembered two days ago, one of those “loudspeakers” got scolded so hard by him to the extent that she almost cried. As a matter of fact, even her mentor dared not stand up for her.

3. No using of personal electronic devices during meeting, unless it is an emergency. – A day ago, I am pretty sure I was typing down notes on the laptop during the meeting and he told me” Hello, you emailing to your mum?” To protect my job, I didnt talk back to him and reluctantly apologised. (I had to use my brain to note down all his information subsequently)

Some of you may argue that these rules are reasonable and yes I agree, but not with the way he executes it. (I feel) that he might be suffering from some kind of Napolean Syndrome because he seems to have a tendency to find fault with the taller people in the company, be it guy or girl. On the other hand, when those average guy/girl commit serious mistakes, he will close one eye.

The thing is, even though this seems to be some sort of discrimination, he will always find ways to justify it (Basic manner, formality, coincidence etc). His English is so much better than us that there is no way we can defend ourselves.

I am thinking of blowing this matter up to the big boss, but there are rumours that he has a close connection with the HR people and this might backfire on me. Should I leave this toxic environment?

I am posting this to seek advice from those whom are married. Any advices are welcomed. I am a soon to be bride this October end.

My future in laws are a devoted Buddhist family. They are traditional as well.

I get along with my dad in law but not my mother in law. She have always disliked me, as i am an orphan. She said i am a mysterious person without a background. I grew up in an orphanage, and transfered in my teens to a home for youths. I moved out when i m 19 when i got myself a full time job. I do not know who are my parents. Besides my friends and my boss/colleagues, i have no one else in my life. When my fiance first brought me home, she suggested to my fiance that he had better find someone better with a good background.

Currently i m staying with my fiance 3 times a week, other days at my company hostel. Tonight i asked my mum in law, do i need to pay my respects to the ancestors ( they have the ancestal tablet at home) after my ROM which is next week?

Guess what is my mother in law’s reply. She said “as you wish, even if you dont pray, it’s ok ,because i already have a pregnant daughter in law with a soon to be coming grandchild. I dont need another daughter in law in my life.”

My fiance scolded his mother for that. My dad in law glared at her.

I feel very hurt and i cried in my fiance’s arms. So my background of being an orphan, means i am not welcome to join this family? I am a traditional chinese as well, if i never pray, i believe i am not part of this family. I can’t sleep thinking about this, and it’s 3am right now when i am typing this out. I find myself very childish crying about this when I am in my 30s already.

On the other hand, I am feeling very lucky that my fiance spoke up for me and glad that we are moving out after the wedding. I can’t imagine staying with his mother, even though his father and siblings are all very nice people.

A Singaporean man recently posted on Facebook after saying how he doesn’t want to marry hisex- SIA stewardess girlfriend as she is currently working in a club which led do her have three abortions due to her “easy” nature.

Here is the full story.

I met this girl in a club and started dating her. We cohabit for a few years in my parent’s house. Then one day she started asking about marriage and also started arranging for BTO matters.

She even plan on what job to find after she retire as stewardess assumingly she got pregnant. I did not want to marry her due to her special background. Before I met her, she works in the club and let any guy took advantage of her. She told me she had 3 abortion before so she is always feeling tired and weak.

She’s dirty and doesn’t cherish herself working in this kind of places until when we dated then she switch job. I am unable to overcome the barrier that she was being USED by many guys. I wonder how come girls like her can even think that they can find decent husband and happily married? Isn’t it naive? She likes giving her hard earn money to her mother which I did not approve.

Her mom knew she was working in club and did not object at all, since she was making money to support her. What kind of parents is this?! In fact I’ve no respect for her mother. How can she witness her daughter earning fast money and still spending her money happily.

When she finally got the BTO flat she wanted and in high floor, she told me to put in deposit together. But I didn’t want the flat, the BTO is what she wanted.

She should put the deposit since she is the one that wanted a BTO. She was so upset and left me. What right does she even have to be angry and leave me when I picked her up from her bad situation and told her to find better job. Her family couldn’t even be bothered. What I wanted was to live with her without marriage or children. But our relationship went downhill when she became naive.

What do you think I should do? Should I ask for my money spend on her back?