I just want to know if my boyfriend goes to Thai disco and hang flowers while he was in Bangkok but claims that he did not do anything and it wasn’t him who paid for it.

Does it count as cheating? he said he knows it’s wrong but he doesn’t think that’s cheating.

I don’t know how to feel about it.

Girl got trolled by netizens:

• If he still confessed about going to these places, you are considered safe. When he goes and doesn’t even informed you, good luck and take care.

• Maybe u can dress as a siambu, and see if he will hang flower on u anot

• We all know Thai disco is a place of music and flowers. Why we can pay money to see fake painted flowers but not pay money for hang real flowers? Maybe we can go botanic garden to sea flower but now fake flower is the go to at garden by the Bay.

• If a guy wants to cheat, he can do it anywhere. Doesn’t have to be at flower joint or what. Main point is hang flower got bring the girl back or do anything there anot? Personally don’t think hang flower is cheating if his friends are the ones who did it.

• Last time I bring my wife to thai disco to drink and chill also. Just go for drink and relax only.. why must it be cheating? Going thai disco means cheating? Who sprout this nonsense?

• Ask him hang himself la

• its not cheating when nothing happens its only cheating when something happens – most pple logic, however u can see it from another angle, the reason why maybe nothing happen could be because the flowers he hung was not big enough. anyway its ok la, nice of him to give money to the needy

Are students from lower-income backgrounds these days more entitled?

Disclaimer: I am Gen Z myself

I’m sharing some observations I’ve made as a JC student who just graduated.

We all know that Singapore didn’t start out rich. Many people were in poverty. But studying hard could get you out of poverty. That was the case for my parents, some teachers and many of my elders. It was hard for them, but they never complained.

These days the story is different. I know a number of JC mates who are from a relatively lower socioeconomic class. They share one thing in common. They like to whine about their family situation, how they have no one to set their education path from young, everyone else having tuition but they can’t afford it, and so on.

I don’t doubt their lives aren’t easy. But they are already better than most Gen Xes. Last time few people went for tuition at all. This victim mentality never existed during my parents’ time. As much as I don’t want to call my own generation the strawberry generation, I must acknowledge it’s quite an appropriate label.

Netizens’ comments

1. Sorry but to me you are just an a-hole. You had the cards lined up for you since birth. You feel that they are flaunting that they made it even though their families aren’t well off and that made your “achievement” less significant. I think you are deeply insecure and should either reflect or seek therapy for it.
2. “The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don’t look in your neighbor’s bowl to see if you have as much as them.” ― Louis C.K.
3. Honestly, it’s pretty rude to see someone worse off than you complaining and label them “whining” or ungrateful. It may be their only way of coping, by vocalizing it.
   Before you say “well all they do is whine, they don’t try to change their situation”, try to understand that these kinds of things have a million factors. Someone born into poverty has the deck stacked against them.
   It’s easy to say “just study harder” when you have a nice home and a conducive environment to study in. I’ve met people who were in school, working a part-time job, and taking care of all their siblings all while juggling schoolwork and projects. Do you think they can just study harder?

My bf (25) and I (29) have been together for 1 year. In the beginning of our relationship he was working but then he lost his job. When he lost his job, he would get money help from his brother and me.

He finally moved back with his parents in April cause he couldn’t afford to live without them. So he isn’t paying for anything right now.

He recently asked me to help him with $1,000 to get his teeth fixed as he was in pain. He has veneers and hasn’t kept to his cleaning routine and needs to re-do a tooth. He said he had around $1,900 and doesn’t want to use it all as he is trying to stretch it out for two months.

Seeing as I don’t have the cash and have been relying on my credit card these past few months due to the pandemic, I said I don’t have that money.

He suggested that he borrow my credit card and will pay me back when he starts working again (he has a job lined up in Jan). I said sorry, I can’t give you my credit card. I don’t want to overuse it. He then gets mad at me saying. well, you are spending on it and I’ll pay you back. I said I am literally spending on meds and food, nothing else. And I said I don’t think you have to right to tell me how to spend my money or on what.

The reason I didn’t want to give him my credit card is that I had already given him so much money and he never ever appreciates it nor does he even pay me back. I literally am so sick and tired of spoon-feeding him and want him to realise that I’m not an ATM.

He got mad at me and hasn’t talked to me for two days. Then he sent a text saying you have hurt me over money. I said no I didn’t.

Do you guys think I am right about not giving him my credit card? And how can I make him see that I am not an ATM and shouldn’t expect me to always help him.

Female Managers with Issues

I’m a female myself and I find working with female managers so difficult. When you’re working as a certain occupation, the chances of working under a female manager is high.

Real life experiences of female managers with issues:

1. In her 60s, single, will call you into her office just to nag/tell stories while you’re standing beside her for 1 HOUR (btw she’s sitting down comfortably).

2. In her 40s, single, talking one big round for 1 HOUR just to hear you apologise before finally calming down.

3. In her 30s, married with no kids, nitpicking on every single piece of work submitted (such as font type, font size, alignment, comma, full stop), providing ‘feedback’ about you to your current supervisor on ridiculous stuff.

Work is already difficult enough. Can these type of people just calm the f down.

Netizens’ comments

1. Next time you reach their age see how you behave.
2. Female in my 40s here. Married with kids. No comments about the first two but the last, yes.
   You could have written an awesome piece of work, but if you don’t pay attention to the details, you are simply spoiling your own work.
   Alignment, font types and punctuation exist for a reason. And if you get to this age without knowing how to use proper punctuation, I can only say they closed one eye hiring you.
   Aren’t you embarrassed you had to be called into her office for such small issues? If you cannot handle the small stuff, how to handle the big ones? Bear in mind the work we churned out is an advertisement of our abilities.
   How much effort you put into your work is also a reflection of how much you value this job.

we broke up because he wants to experience sleeping around

It’s really difficult for me to fully process our breakup. We (21M, 19F) dated for around 3 years and he would say often that I am the perfect girl for him and an amazing girlfriend.

He even started a business when we were dating, and for over a year I helped him almost daily, I would take him out for dinner every 5k followers he got on his IG,

I’d help him with his social media, get him more sales at pop-ups and even approach strangers and tell them about his business. I did more for him in the relationship in regard to his love language etc.

We were also very compatible in bed as well so this hurts more as it’s so confusing how he can say our intimacy is mindblowing but he also wants to experience life single.

I just cannot comprehend why he did not value me. He says he thinks I am beautiful inside and out, inspires him to be a better person, that his parents love me and he thinks I’m so smart and funny, etc.

He mentioned how incredibly happy I make him and that 90% of the time he is happy but 10% of the time he is sad but it’s because I am sad about something. But this is the conclusion.

It’s just so hurtful I cannot comprehend how he would leave JUST for that :/

Recently graduated with Flexible Combined Honours and still jobless at 26(M).

Know of friends with masters can only find degree jobs with 3k+ pay. Meanwhile, friends who went to LaSalle (3 years) then Kaplan (1 year) became manager at 23.

Also, know of many who went to private schools after sec school are now damn rich after starting their business for years or already hold high corporate ranks at my age. Wonder if the normal educational path we are going through is even worth it?

We are just going to start working much later and climb the corporate rank much later than them. Same age but they are already our bosses. Besides that, our local uni certs seem nothing to companies as they are okay with hiring those from private uni/diploma (which lesser years to complete them). Moreover, uni certs are only useful for our 1st two jobs.

So is going through the normal educational path worth it? Something parents can think about for their kids.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you don’t have the skills to start maintain (starting is relatively easy) a business or go freelance, then that is a moot point. Uni is to give you generic as well as specific skills to enter the market.

• Don’t assume all private school students are not capable. Some were not good at A levels some just wanted a faster graduation.

• Private college grads also have to look hard for jobs…

• The truth is fch means nothing, what matters is your degree. A stem degree second lower can easily earn more than fch in other degrees in today’s demand. Also, degree does matter, what failed is probably your degree and interview… scroll through linkedin you notice alot of the directors have quite impressive degrees and experience.Manager is just starting point, aim bigger man…. They will soon notice their private school degree hinders their beyond manager promotion

• “Manager” title also must see what kind of manager is that. Insurance Agent or salesman also can call themselves Senior Manager or even Director. Some people set up business and call themselves “Director” when it’s actually just a one-man show and the title is just to meet stat requirements. Joke! A local uni degree is definitely still much more valuable than a private uni degree. There’s a reason why local unis are so well recognised globally.

How to communicate with a manager that doesn’t want to communicate?

I’m at my wit’s end.

My new manager who joined for 2 months, is slowly cutting my colleague and I off, and keeping us in the dark about almost everything. This was after we tried talking to her to get things moving. We have upcoming events as early as next month but no specific instructions coming from her even now.

Everything is just hanging in the air, and even the general direction keeps changing too. It’s so hard to do anything even if we want to take the initiative. If we keep waiting, we are going to get scolded by top management for sure.

My colleague and I have talked to our General Manager about this issue but we were told to give her more time and chance. It is apparent to the people below her that she is incapable of doing the job, but the top management wants to let her try.

It is so demoralising to go to work nowadays, and I loathe her presence. I contemplated leaving my job because of her but now I think why should I be the one to leave this somewhat wonderful company.

What else can I do while I hope for her to leave the company?

Here are what netizens think:

• Unless you are working in a uniform group where you strictly need to take orders from your superiors, you (or your colleagues) can step up and cover things that she should be doing. I’m sure your GM will notice that you step up and assist the new manager and it will look good for you during your next performance review.

• Get her resume (thru LinkedIn or something), send it to other employers. 

• Samw thing happened to me. That manager got terminated shortly before 3 months.

• Hope u wont be the next one to go. U already say your new manager. Why dont give people a chance to learn? U also once a newbie. Why go behind people back and talk to management. If u were in her shoes, how u feel? Correct me if i am wrong, u wanna to prove to management, u can take over her role?

Hao Lian vs Sharing achievement

Been going to therapy to address some childhood trauma and deconstructing the personalities that I have created because of that. One of the things that I remember was learning to stop sharing my achievement.

I learnt early on as a child that sharing achievement earn envy from my peers. People would call me hao lian and even teachers tell me to stop because the other students complained.

I realize that sharing my achievement is actually my way of gauging myself and strive for self improvement. Because improvement is a constant journey. You achieve one checkpoint, there will always be a next checkpoint, or else you will stagnate in place. It was kinda my was of communicating “Hey, I achieved this. Is this good? What’s the next mission?”

But I didn’t realize that sharing my achievement to the wrong people will actually hurt them emotionally at the time. I didn’t mean to bring them down. I was always happy to share my experience so people can follow in my footsteps, or even critique and point out there are better footsteps to follow or make adjustments to my current footsteps so to make more improvement.

I now have the choice to see myself as a hao lian person growing up or I just grew up in an envious environment that demands conformity.

Just wondering, are there people out there that grew up in an environment where you get to share your achievements growing up without malice and people give you constructive criticism instead of just criticizing you out of jealousy?

Do life insurance agents actually make a lot of money?

So basically, I have a few friends from high school who think they become a business guru and constantly post on Instagram and Facebook about how they’re “helping families” and saying they may $1200 off for two policies. Every single week they are bragging about how much money they’re making and it just seems off/too good to be true. So here are my questions…

It seems like all life insurance agents do this (at least the ones I know) why do they constantly brag about their income? Is there an incentive to bringing in more people to the company (like an MLM)?

Also, if the amount of income they are bringing in is actually true, does that mean life insurance policies in the whole are just a money-grabbing scam?

Any insight is appreciated 🙂

Here are what netizens think:

• Ultimately it’s a sales job so it’s probably commission based. If you have the intangibles you be a really good salesperson – the charisma, the persuasiveness etc – then you can probably make a very good living.

• Lots of hours, plastering your social media with info trying to drum up more business, constantly networking… For a person who genuinely enjoys grinding and selling, it can be a great job. For the 99.9% of people who don’t find it rewarding in its own right, it is an exhausting, nerve-wracking slog.

• It’s not MLM, in that the whole thing isn’t actually a scam which operates solely on getting new people to buy in, but basically they do have incentives to bring new people in, as described above.

I watch my momma eat alone and it broke my heart

I dont really get emotional. But today my mommy had some errands to run and was asking if any of my siblings wanted to go with her. They all said no, and I felt bad leaving my momma to do them herself, so I went with her. It was a lot. I helped her with things she did daily by herself. At first I was angry because I didn’t really want to go, I only went because I felt bad, but I told myself to suck it up and eventually I was cool with tagging along.

After about an hour or so we were done. I was tired, she was tired and we went home. Yet even when we got home she had a bit of work to do. After she finished that, she warmed herself up some left overs that were in the fridge.

there’s barely food in the house..

and I knew it probably wasn’t enough for her but she never complained. Not once, not all day, she never complained. I complained about there being nothing to eat, which there was. Just things that I didn’t want to eat. I later ending up settling for cereal.

I walked past her room to see her eating all alone and my heart shattered. I don’t know why, but it hurt to see her like that. I walked to my room holding back tears.

Growing up, my mother and I never had the best relationship. I used to give her hell when I was younger. I was a very emotionally driven teenager. I’m 17 now. I’ve learned to communicate more with my mother and for the past year we’ve been great. My mom and my dad aren’t together so it’s just her raising all of my siblings.

I am so ungrateful. I was angry for dragging myself to help my own mother, and made noise about food that I didn’t want.

Meanwhile she’s eating food that no one wants, and ran errands and not one single complaint.

She deserves so much more 😭💔