I watch my momma eat alone and it broke my heart

I dont really get emotional. But today my mommy had some errands to run and was asking if any of my siblings wanted to go with her. They all said no, and I felt bad leaving my momma to do them herself, so I went with her. It was a lot. I helped her with things she did daily by herself. At first I was angry because I didn’t really want to go, I only went because I felt bad, but I told myself to suck it up and eventually I was cool with tagging along.

After about an hour or so we were done. I was tired, she was tired and we went home. Yet even when we got home she had a bit of work to do. After she finished that, she warmed herself up some left overs that were in the fridge.

there’s barely food in the house..

and I knew it probably wasn’t enough for her but she never complained. Not once, not all day, she never complained. I complained about there being nothing to eat, which there was. Just things that I didn’t want to eat. I later ending up settling for cereal.

I walked past her room to see her eating all alone and my heart shattered. I don’t know why, but it hurt to see her like that. I walked to my room holding back tears.

Growing up, my mother and I never had the best relationship. I used to give her hell when I was younger. I was a very emotionally driven teenager. I’m 17 now. I’ve learned to communicate more with my mother and for the past year we’ve been great. My mom and my dad aren’t together so it’s just her raising all of my siblings.

I am so ungrateful. I was angry for dragging myself to help my own mother, and made noise about food that I didn’t want.

Meanwhile she’s eating food that no one wants, and ran errands and not one single complaint.

She deserves so much more 😭💔

Guys, please advise me on what I should do?

I am working in one of the tech companies with a team of 3 members. Recently, we had a change of mentor and the incoming mentor doesnt seem to be very friendly.

I remembered the very first time he entered the office, he laid down some very weird rules.

1. We are to call him Dr. GX and not by his name. – Even though our company culture allows us to address each other like friends, he told us that this is for formality purpose and having an “advanced degree”, he deserves to be addressed that way relative to the commoners.

2. No mingering during working hours. – In the past, we have some “loudspeakers” in the company lighting up the stressful atmosphere with their jokes but now, things are different. Everytime he walks into the office, the atmosphere changes. He would give us the death glance and I remembered two days ago, one of those “loudspeakers” got scolded so hard by him to the extent that she almost cried. As a matter of fact, even her mentor dared not stand up for her.

3. No using of personal electronic devices during meeting, unless it is an emergency. – A day ago, I am pretty sure I was typing down notes on the laptop during the meeting and he told me” Hello, you emailing to your mum?” To protect my job, I didnt talk back to him and reluctantly apologised. (I had to use my brain to note down all his information subsequently)

Some of you may argue that these rules are reasonable and yes I agree, but not with the way he executes it. (I feel) that he might be suffering from some kind of Napolean Syndrome because he seems to have a tendency to find fault with the taller people in the company, be it guy or girl. On the other hand, when those average guy/girl commit serious mistakes, he will close one eye.

The thing is, even though this seems to be some sort of discrimination, he will always find ways to justify it (Basic manner, formality, coincidence etc). His English is so much better than us that there is no way we can defend ourselves.

I am thinking of blowing this matter up to the big boss, but there are rumours that he has a close connection with the HR people and this might backfire on me. Should I leave this toxic environment?

I am posting this to seek advice from those whom are married. Any advices are welcomed. I am a soon to be bride this October end.

My future in laws are a devoted Buddhist family. They are traditional as well.

I get along with my dad in law but not my mother in law. She have always disliked me, as i am an orphan. She said i am a mysterious person without a background. I grew up in an orphanage, and transfered in my teens to a home for youths. I moved out when i m 19 when i got myself a full time job. I do not know who are my parents. Besides my friends and my boss/colleagues, i have no one else in my life. When my fiance first brought me home, she suggested to my fiance that he had better find someone better with a good background.

Currently i m staying with my fiance 3 times a week, other days at my company hostel. Tonight i asked my mum in law, do i need to pay my respects to the ancestors ( they have the ancestal tablet at home) after my ROM which is next week?

Guess what is my mother in law’s reply. She said “as you wish, even if you dont pray, it’s ok ,because i already have a pregnant daughter in law with a soon to be coming grandchild. I dont need another daughter in law in my life.”

My fiance scolded his mother for that. My dad in law glared at her.

I feel very hurt and i cried in my fiance’s arms. So my background of being an orphan, means i am not welcome to join this family? I am a traditional chinese as well, if i never pray, i believe i am not part of this family. I can’t sleep thinking about this, and it’s 3am right now when i am typing this out. I find myself very childish crying about this when I am in my 30s already.

On the other hand, I am feeling very lucky that my fiance spoke up for me and glad that we are moving out after the wedding. I can’t imagine staying with his mother, even though his father and siblings are all very nice people.

A Singaporean man recently posted on Facebook after saying how he doesn’t want to marry hisex- SIA stewardess girlfriend as she is currently working in a club which led do her have three abortions due to her “easy” nature.

Here is the full story.

I met this girl in a club and started dating her. We cohabit for a few years in my parent’s house. Then one day she started asking about marriage and also started arranging for BTO matters.

She even plan on what job to find after she retire as stewardess assumingly she got pregnant. I did not want to marry her due to her special background. Before I met her, she works in the club and let any guy took advantage of her. She told me she had 3 abortion before so she is always feeling tired and weak.

She’s dirty and doesn’t cherish herself working in this kind of places until when we dated then she switch job. I am unable to overcome the barrier that she was being USED by many guys. I wonder how come girls like her can even think that they can find decent husband and happily married? Isn’t it naive? She likes giving her hard earn money to her mother which I did not approve.

Her mom knew she was working in club and did not object at all, since she was making money to support her. What kind of parents is this?! In fact I’ve no respect for her mother. How can she witness her daughter earning fast money and still spending her money happily.

When she finally got the BTO flat she wanted and in high floor, she told me to put in deposit together. But I didn’t want the flat, the BTO is what she wanted.

She should put the deposit since she is the one that wanted a BTO. She was so upset and left me. What right does she even have to be angry and leave me when I picked her up from her bad situation and told her to find better job. Her family couldn’t even be bothered. What I wanted was to live with her without marriage or children. But our relationship went downhill when she became naive.

What do you think I should do? Should I ask for my money spend on her back?

I would like to share my eye-opening experiences for the last six months working as a casual worker and the state of how said group of labourers are perceived.

Background info: I come from a privileged background and work for my family business for the last ten years or so after graduation.

I haven’t been exposed to much hardship with the exception of National Service and a bit of racism in my studies abroad. About 9 months ago, I had a major tiff with my family regarding the direction of our business and we decided that it would be better for me to take time off to collect myself and find my way. It was fun at first to bum around but it got boring quickly.

I read quite a bit and was awed by Einstein’s experience as a patent clerk giving him new perspectives and decided to do something similar. I decided to take on any form of casual job for half a year with little to no commitment (so I can have the largest possible variety) – my shortest stint was one day and my longest was two weeks.

I gave myself a couple of rules to follow – no using of my car, limiting my spending to 20% of my daily wage, and not to quit no matter bad or tough the job was.

I found these jobs on FaceBook – a cornucopia of opportunities in various casual job groups.

I have worked as a food delivery rider, parcel delivery staff, pet transporter, mover, flyer distributor, general cleaner, IT crew, fishmonger, metalwork crew, AV crew, F&B staff, bar hand, food packer, warehouse operator, aeroplane cleaner, valet driver, durian opener, and a few more jobs.

It has been an eye-opening experience working.

The main things I noticed is that a good percentage of locals adopt an elitist mentality. Unfortunately, my family is guilty of this and to some extent, I too was. Most are very judgemental of blue collared workers and this is very prevalent in the F&B industry.

Toughest job: Metalwork crew. I had to cut metal objects to salvage profitable parts and it was extremely dangerous with sparks flying and a very dirty environment.

Most enjoyable job: Fishmonger. This was by far one of the most fun I had working as I learned to scale and cut different types of fish. It was also very interesting to work at the fisheries to see all sorts of fish(small ones to huge ones almost half a tonne).

Most interesting job: Valet driver, I witnessed plenty of older married men needing to be sent home/hotels with much younger women. Some of the dross these men say/do with their women in the car have definitely left a mark on me.

Most boring job: Warehouse operator, pretty mundane with too much repetition.

My experience as a bar hand watching guys trying to impress their dates is quite hilarious – I notice guys love to flaunt their wealth when it isn’t really great in the grand scheme of things. They tend to treat the bar hands and service staff like crap to look more alpha I’m guessing? Terrible viewing.

Other ‘interesting’ experience include delivering parcels to women who receive them not wearing underwear and being pretty nonchalant about it.

Distributing flyers/assisting and moving furniture from show flats to show flats for realtors was a jaded affair – I notice they tend to spew a lot of drivel to the prospective clients with little to no real knowledge about investments as a whole and only seem to care about making a quick buck. Males tend to be nicer to us, offering to buy food if we had worked the whole day without breaks. Females tend to be a bit more picky about not wasting flyers on seemingly unqualified prospects – very judgemental.

Working as an IT crew for tuition centres was pretty sad – I realised many tutors are not proficient and pretty much reading off their notes. I even noticed a few making mistakes in their lessons – quite alarming.

Cleaning flats and offices was.. peculiar. Some flats were really disgusting and I could not believe people are capable of being so gross and not able to pick up after themselves. Especially tenants moving out, woah. Some flat owners were really nice with isotonic drinks and snacks but the office ones were generally curt and snobbish. A typical HR who was in charge of us(usually middle age woman) would treat us as lesser beings and treat us as such.

Generally, people are quite condescending about lower waged workers and I even saw a few former JC mates brushing me off or being unnecessarily difficult in my experience in F&B. Thankfully, with the mandatory mask, I was never once recognised or questioned. I hope we will be a bit more gracious to people of all sorts of life – no one deserves to be belittled.

Transporting pets was truly amazing, I learned so much how the shelters are in need of help and how these animals truly need our help.

Overall, I made about $12000(close to $10/hour) in these six months and after my daily food and transportation expenses I had about $9000. I have donated this amount to the few shelters and will continue to do so.

I have learned so much for these six months that will echo for the rest of my life and have realigned my perspectives of how I should look at people and my family’s firm.

A good two weeks break to decompress and time to get back to bringing our business forward and being a positive member of society.

AMA and I will do my best to reply in a follow-up post.

Always choose to be kind and gracious, it costs nothing.

no matter what I do for my GF, her family n friends have never approved of me.

Since we started to date, she felt that her life quality has dropped. She said she had given up a lot of things for me and she had been feeling quite mentally exhausted. She has been wanting me to propose to her and get our marriage but I feel that currently, we’re not ready yet. We’ve also been quarrelling for even small matters, she always thinks that she’s in the right and I’ve been purposely finding faults to argue with her.

She always gets angry for no reason.

That day her mum asked me to help her buy stuff and since she said she was tired from school, so I picked her up and send her home first. But she get angry that I didn’t tell her that her mum asked me to help buy items and she felt that buying those stuff unnecessarily.

She argue with me and said that I don’t bother telling her what was happening and then she throw my items on the floor, and take scissors to cut the shirts that I owned. While picking up those items she threw on the floor, she was raising her voice until the whole building could hear the arguments.

Sometimes she loves to play “cold wars” with me for no reason, suddenly blocks me for hours/days then doesn’t want to pick up any calls/messages. She is allergic to crabs so when we eat, she insists on eating crabs but I said no. She was angry and then walked/dump me there while we were dining.

She is also angry that I don’t share salted eggs and potato chips with her when I ordered like a bulk of it and she probably ate like 90% of it and I eat probably like half a packet.

Saying how ” I don’t love her anymore, don’t cherish her anymore after we’re dating”. She said how in her family, what she wants to eat n etc, ppl will always ask her, share with her and they don’t snatch with her snacks to eat.

So one of the days, I requested her to walk the dog as I was busy with a presentation and since for the past few days, it was raining so the dog didn’t manage to be out of the house. She said I’m treating her like a maid, asking her to follow my order. She never touched dirty things in her life. for example, when the dog poops.

I’m always the one picking up the poops. In her family, she ate alr just dump the plate/bowl at the sink/basin, for someone in her family to wash. She also doesn’t tidy up her room, sweep floors and etc, was always me when i go her house to help her housekeeping her room.

She also has a bad habits of wasting money on unnecessary. She always like to go cinema to watch movies , probably like every week. But i’m the one paying for it since she doesn’t have any income. She also rant that i am unlike other ppl bf, buy for their gf accessories.

I suspect my best friend is infatuated with my wife. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve known my best friend since secondary school days. We kept in touch over the years as we live in the same neighborhood. I’ve introduced him to my gf (who became my wife) so my wife also knows him casually. I used to hang out with him and the other guys. So he seldom meet my wife. I have to say all along I think I’m a 5/10 while my wife is a 9/10. Many times people wonder why she chose to marry me. Some days I secretly think I don’t deserve her but I suck it up and heck what others think and be the best that I can be for her because I love her.

Recent years my best friend got himself a gf and suggested the 4 of us hang out as his gf wishes to hang out with other couple friends. Soon my wife and his gf became pretty good friends.

Once we met for drinks at my place, when the ladies were not within earshot, he told me I’m so lucky to have married my wife. Nice figure, pretty face, can earn money, bet my wife will still look good when she’s older. While he’s stuck with his gf who will likely become fat after becoming a mother. If he had a choice he would want a woman like my wife.

During the earlier years he did ask me if my wife has a sister and if they look alike. I didn’t entertain him.

We usually don’t talk about our partners and he doesn’t usually speak like this so I was rather startled by his comment. I tried to reassure him that his gf seems like a good choice. I also wonder did he drink too much that evening.

I don’t know why I couldn’t shake off that conversation days after. We would meet almost every weekend and I’m thinking of reducing the number of times that he would be near my wife. I didn’t tell my wife as I didn’t want to startle her or let her know that he complimented her. I completely trust my wife but I would still prefer to take precautions. Am I overthinking? I’m also disappointed our long friendship is no longer the same after that night as I worry he may make a move on my wife.

I apologise if this sounds like a really stupid concern but recently, many of my friends have started to enter into relationships and by human nature you start to compare yourself to others and wonder why you have yet to enter one.

At some point I started to wonder whether there was something wrong with myself or anything but I try to often tell myself that is not the case and that my time will soon eventually come. I’ve recently confided in one of my friends and I have tried to change my mindset towards this situation by trying to focus on myself instead of constantly thinking about relationships and instead focusing on myself as an individual, but my mind keeps wondering and drifting to negative thoughts and I find myself constantly getting distracted and just overwhelming sense of sadness.

I guess in a way you could say I am feeling a mix of envy and sadness, Bottom line, I would just like some help on how I should change my mindset towards this situation, I have tried to focus on thinking about myself and other things but when all my friends happily talk about their relationships it just reminds me constantly of my situation and I do not have the heart to tell them to stop as they all sound so happy.

I guess what I am trying to say is I would really like to change my views and mindset towards this situation I am facing, I find myself being happy when I have things to do and when I am around friends, a distraction if you may say but when I am left alone these thoughts just keep coming back to me and I feel really helpless on how am I suppose to control them or change my perspective of it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

My husband hangs out too much with his young female colleagues

I’m a (30F), married for 5 years. My husband (32M), has many female colleagues at his workplace. He’s a mentor to them, especially the fresh grads working there. He goes out to lunch with them almost every day and is probably close to a few of them. I’m totally fine with this as I know it’s just colleagues going out for lunch, and he’s just going his job. He still loves me and nothing much has changed.

Recently, he said he’s going out with one of them alone as she is leaving the company. They were going on morning hike at Bukit Timah, just two of them with no other colleagues. I was ok with it and didn’t think too much about it at that time. But when I saw his instagram photos with the girl on their hike, I couldn’t help it but to feel jealous. I tried to confront my own jealousy, as I realised the girl is younger, prettier and skinnier than me. It also made me feel fat as I know I have been putting on weight since the pandemic started.

I don’t know if I feel insecure. I would say we are still happily married and I know he’s not a cheater. It was just a platonic relationship with a colleague and they only went out once. Since then, I kinda feel something is ‘off’ with myself. I did not tell him anything about this as I thought it’s just a small issue.

What do you guys think? Is it acceptable for your spouse to go out with someone of the opposite gender alone? Are my feelings valid or am I overthinking?