I 56M have had a feeling they my wife 50f has been cheating on me for a while now.

We have a dead bedroom and she claims to be low libido. Yet she do it herself regularly. Much more regularly than we have any physical contact.

There have been multiple deceptions and lies that have been red flags as well. I do not think this is a regularly occurring thing. I believe if it is happening only occasionally and only when there is an opportunity.

A little over a month ago I decided to track her movements with a GPS device. I work away and sometimes she comes with me and sometimes she does not. For almost a month she was always where she said she would be. Even when I was away.

One day recently she was driving down to stay with me at work and she diverted once she got to the place I work in. She drove straight to a place there was full of hotels on the other side of town. Her car was in the parking lot for exactly 1/2 hour then she stopped at a couple of stores and arrived at our house there.

The next day she left the house while I was at work and drove straight to the same area and again her car was in the parking lot for 1/2 hour then she went shopping at a clothing store and then grocery shopping before returning home. That evening she only told me about going to the grocery store. I took the opportunity to tell her her skin seemed glowing and asked her if she did some facials.

But why lie about it? Any thoughts? By the way the car is in my name so there is no legal problem with placing a tracker in it.

I am in my early 30s (F) living with my parents. My father used hokkien swear words, sudden yells at us if he was unhappy about us being loud etc, even raised a knife at us when my sister and I finally drummed up the courage to talk back at/yelled back at him in our 20s. Our mother is loving, docile, has gotten braver at having her own opinion but enables him to a large extent for the past few decades.

My sibling has since moved overseas and I saved and bought a house recently. The parents have moved in with me. The problems that have caused me immense stress and anger is my father will do his own DIY projects around the house such as repainting certain sections of the walls.. bathrooms.. mending the grouting with some unknown plaster.. nailing and spoiling walls.. basically slowly taking over my house.

Sometimes he is nice enough and he does things like buy food for the house.

I have spoken nicely, tried to reason (didn’t get anywhere because he is uneducated, elder-entitled and seems to love staying that way), shouted, quarrelled with him but nothing has improved. It has only gotten worse because he would do these things when I am not at home and I would discover these atrocities days or even weeks later.

I get that uneducated elders tried their best to raise us. I do, but it is absolutely killing me inside to have to see my house with ugly corners/changes and father is just stubborn to death. The negativity and disrespect makes me wish sometimes he is dead. I know it’s such an evil thought, but the mental anguish from decades ago until now has manifested in different ways and I feel mad depressed. It is impossible to give respect to elders like him.

Should I drive them out of the house for my own mental well being? Will I be the AH?

I hate my upstairs neighbors!

I need to get this off my chest before I die from heart attack…. Read only if you have the patience….

I believe some of us hate some of our neighbors… I do and sometimes, I really wish that upstairs neighbor move away out of this planet. No one will welcome them. I am 100% certain of this with their antics. They are a family of 4 – all adults and no kids. Singaporeans and 1st time residents just like my household but with much much worse attitude and behavior as humans.

First off, they bang and knock at random time of the day. The noise sometimes last from few minutes to hours. I usually ignore them but the banging and knocking sometimes went beyond 10.30pm. A couple of times, we went upstairs, trying to get upstairs neighbor to stop. They never open their door but the banging/knocking stopped for a while/for the night. Once, I had enough and wrote a polite note asking them to stop banging/knocking after 10.30pm after they did it after midnight again. Next night, the elder son and mom came down to ring my door and insisted that I was imagining things/accused them, throw my note on the floor. Shortly later, police ring my doorbell and said my neighbor called police on me. I showed my note to the police and they also agreed that it was a polite note and totally non aggressive in nature….

After this, I sent my complaint to HDB with voice recordings. HDB officer came down and said if we want, we can go to mediation. Come on, you want this type of neighbor to be considerate? What a wishful thinking. The banging and knocking did lesson BUT never stop.

Another stuff that irks me few years back. They throw water out of their 11th floor windows in the middle of the night eg 1am/2am. Mind you, they pour out of from the bedroom windows not kitchen windows. I used to open my windows when I sleep in my young adulthood, only to find my items wet from the splashing of DIRTY WATER. Close the windows permanently to prevent spalshing of dirty water but the wee hours of splashing water was too much for me especially from directly above my bedroom. It was too much as I need to work the next day and the opening of the noisy and clumsy opening of windows along splashing water was too much. Once, I called police at 3am because they splashed dirty water again. Guess what? They shifted and splash the water from another bedroom window (above my brother’s bedroom.) This went on for years and only stopped just a few years ago. I am not sure why they stopped this queer habits but my windows are heavily stains from their repetitively splashing of dirty water.

These are not the main straw that made me type this extremely long ranting…. The neighbor upstairs also LOVE to hang WET laundry/dirty rags off the clothes drying area. I usually avoid putting my clothing out. However, my estate is now currently undergoing HIP and our area (upper floors of my column in our block) finally completed the agonizing renovation. Many households like us are mass cleaning out our items/laundries due to renovation dust. I had bought my bedsheets to laundromat to wash but after spending close to 2 hours in dryer, only my quilt is 80% dry so I checked the weather and upstairs and quickly park my quilt out for drying. After 3 hours (towards the evening, I went to check and found a puddle of dirty water forming on my qulit surface. I thought it was the 12 floor as they has full laundry out. Went to the 12 floor household but they informed me that their clothes are almost dried as they started drying their clothes from noon.

I went down to 1st floor to check and again saw my upstairs neighbor having their wet and dripping yellow rags from the racks. Went up to the 11th floor and banged on the door with my wet quilt. Banged repeatedly on the door and was finally met with the younger son who insisted that they do not have any laundry and went to the kitchen to take a DRY BROWN RAG. The sly son said “it was not me” so it seems that I have an invisible neighbor living above me. After fruitless talk with my inconsiderate neighbor, I went to my kitchen window and it was still dripping with water from my upstairs neighbor. I yelled on top of my voice in anger to the my upstairs neighbor as this lying neighbor was still dripping dirty water downwards in DIFFERENT POSITION within the clothing drying rack. I really pity my neighbors below (2 of them had clothing below my unit).

After 10mins, I went to 12 floor neighbors and sincerely apologize for the mistake identity. The house owner pity my story and told me that they can see my upstairs neighbor dripping water with their stuff after I yelled to that inconsiderate neighbor of mine.

Friends ask me to report to TC via OneService. But what can TC do legally? NOTHING!

I seriously wished that harsher penalties will be enforce including confiscation of HDB flats from such inconsiderate neighbors. HDB will only said give notice, give counselling. What about the suffering neighbors?

PS: As at the timing (2.15am) of typing this extremely long article, my neighbor upstairs just dragged something along the floor and grinding something in one of the common bedrooms.

The sickening routine

Wanted this to be a job ad but, then again just like every other Singaporean I’m working a 9-5.

So how does one determine if it’s a toxic work environment? Searching up the internet doesn’t help any better. Signs of it just proves it sure is and it’s time to leave.

I’m only 1 year plus in this job and changing job so quickly only makes me seem like a job hopper. So what do one do in this situation?

Not whining more of like, do you feel drained of every energy at the end of a work day? You just don’t feel like doing anything basically you just feel like sleeping. More of less, you work with just half fucks cause things are always only finalised 3 days before the launch day itself. Plannings are made 1-2 months, not on a small scale but, major events that include thousands over people. How sickening. And it’s always ever changing, resignations letters almost received everyday, people leaving every week. Turn over rate could be as good as a 99.9%. Colleagues are silent quitting, taking mcs, leaves just because they do not want to attend meetings, work. You never know when someone will leave, who will leave. It just tomorrow that I might even leave.

Feedbacks made, exit interviews with all the same reasons. Management does basically nothing but, think it’s time to try everything it is on the Earth. If it fails, it fails. Brand don’t matter as long as things are constantly being pushed out, within days and weeks. Months? Don’t even think more than 3 months of a duration is given to ever push anything out.

How do you deal with such stuff?

Stay or leave? I still want to hit that 2 years mark of basically having it look nice on my resume for the sake of society.

To the wife of my man

I’m the other woman, home wrecker, slxt, or whatever you want to call me. It doesn’t matter.

I’ve being confronted, threatened and even beaten by you and your entourage… but I don’t care. I’ve numbed myself from all the physical and mental laceration, for what I want was more than that.

You think I wanted monetary gains or fame but you will be surprised. I just wanted love. I love him. And I wanted to take who you think should love you more. Cos you don’t deserve him.

I admitted I’m heartless. I initiated it. I’m wrong. But there is no denying that he is equally guilty for giving into temptation and committing adultery.

But what about you? Innocent victim? You shoulder more fault than you think you deserved, dear.

Why?

Cos I can give him what you can’t give. I fulfilled the roles you didn’t want to, or never will. I showed him how he can be loved more than you can give.

I played my love language well…. have you?

You think I’m talking only about sxx? HA! That’s why you are wrong! Yes, you are prettier and more voluptuous, but I’m better in bed. I literary let him abuse me. I threw my dignity away and obeyed his every command, simply cos you didn’t want to. You kept your pride as a woman, I let him keep his fantasy.

But the bed is superficial. He wanted to feel loved. Those small little actions of love you took for granted, actions that you didn’t give, or were too proud to do. I give it to him.

I whisper sweet things to his ears. I said words of praise to lift his spirits and boost his confidence. I engaged in his world, his conversations and applaud his opinions, even if they were ridiculous. I give him gifts, even if they are small and insignificant. But in return? He will never let me go. He finds me intelligent. He said he loved my gift. So went is the last time you praised him or gave him something? As a wife you demanded him to treat you like a princess. I treated him like a king…my king.

You nitpicked on his responsibilities as a husband. You criticised his anniversary gift to you. You scolded him for being idle, ridicule him in front of his friends (yes I know) and scolded him for being oblivious on what to do for the family. All this, while he is struggling to make ends meet, to make you happy, while you ask your maid, or worse, your parents, to do the dirty work. All the nasty words coming out “useless, lazy, uncouth, good for nothing” these words he didn’t want to hear. You blame him for having no act of servitude to you. But have you asked youself, what act of servitude has you given him? He is your husband, your partner, your soulmate, not your maid or guard dog.

It is okay. I will fill the gaps for you. I will massage him, care for him, cook specials for him, doing it all with my heart.. for all the harsh treatment he gets from you, I paid him back with my servitude to him.

He needs to be doted, to be validated, to feel he is an important part of something. I gave him my time. I made him happy, spent my everything on him, made him feel validated. I gave him the quality time you couldn’t give cos you to busy with your high life.

You must be furious. You must be infuriate by what I said above. I can imagine the harsh words from you. You probably think he will eventually leave me. Maybe so someday, but not yet…

He is now mine and the love that he gave to me, is more than what I had hoped for. I’m contented not because I have low standards, but cos I know what I want and give all of me for it. You wanted everything and gave nothing.

Despite me wrecking your home and breaking your marriage, I have helped to open up your eyes, to show you the side of your husband that you never knew. I’ve also showed you your own ugly self, your flaws, but I realised you are too proud and egotistic to realise it.

I played my love language well, if you played yours well, all this wouldn’t have happened.

Trust me. NOTHING.

My old man did the same since his retirement.

He sold his house to me at market rate by threatening to sell it cheap to random strangers so he can fuel his scam investment. I don’t want my mum to be homeless so I give up deposit in my future dream house to take over my current flat.

Earlier, I screamed, coached, cried, talk softly but nothing works. I had told him in a family meeting that the HDB money was meant for my mum’s medical bill as she had terminal cancer. If they want to go holiday or buy a small flat, I had no questions. All except his so called investment. Howver, my mum stayed only in C ward in hospital while she was hospitalized. I paid for all the medical supplies with my mum’s joint account while she was at home after she was discharged so that she passed away at home.

No surprise but that old man LOST almost all the HDB profit of x00k in 6mths to overseas “future trader” that he called “shifu” which he never met. Mind you, that online chap is an Indian from his bloody accent and my dad claimed that he is an English man. I had worked as CS, servicing worldwide client before so I am aware how accents across the world sounded like. His defense? “It’s my money, it’s my Right. Don’t be rude”

Shortly afterwards, he “invested” $x0kin was a MAS black listed company, recommended by my own black hearted cousin. Called my cousin and he said “your dad is willing to invest, I did not force him”. I showed that old man the company name in MAS and he never even believed in me (financial graduate). My cousin (ITE graduate) was the genius in investment while I, previous worked in financial related job, cannot give him sound financial advice.

As of earlier this year, he joined a MLM that was fined by Ministry of Health so that he can sell his so called “longevity pills”, claiming that it was his last get rich bucket. Rather give thousands (above 5 figures) away than contributing to my household. My house is in serious need to renovation since 2000 with cracked tiles, broken electrical appliances, shelves etc.

I had no longer call him as “dad” or “father” in my heart. He is just another stranger to me now. I am just feeding him out of the so call fillal piety, never about love anymore. I did not give him a single dime now so even if he called all his relatives and said I am heartless/jobless, not giving money etc, I don’t f* care.

Conclusion: Cut ties with your dad. He is an addicted f* up gambler. My home is totally destroyed by that man living under the same roof as me, my future dream home was gone. Go and live your dream, don’t end up as me.

All the best to your future endeavors.

I bought my first home in 2003, and was over the moon. Shortly after moving in, two of my neighbors began joking with me about the ghost in my home.

Well, I thought they were joking so I just played along pretending I had seen one and it was no big deal. Well, as time went on, I met more and more of my neighbors and they all brought up the same topic.

Finally an elderly woman on the block who was quite kind and friendly told me story after I’d asked her. I knew she wasn’t going to screw with my head which is why I asked in the first place.

Turned out the previous owner purchased the home and never lived there because she said it was haunted. Sounds in the night of foot steps and sobbing, and glimpses of a man sitting in the kitchen covered in blood.

One of my neighbors helped with the renovations of the house and said that he was putting up dry wall when he felt something lift up his hair. Though I’ve had paranormal experiences before, it had been years, and by then I just chalked it up to night terrors.

I heard from the neighbours that one of the previous tenants allegedly did the unthinkable inside my home and died there.

I remember my grandmother saying, “when the dead come to you, they want something, perform an act of charity in their name and pray for them.”

So I did, i sat down at the kitchen table one night and recited a prayer for the deceased. On the ninth night, I heard uncontrollable sobbing, I felt a strong presence of grief and despair,and the sound of hyperventilating breathing, as though someone could not catch their breath.

I sat in the presence of this knowing it was not malignant, but rather a connection of intimacy and compassion of which he was in need..

For forty five days I said a prayer for his soul. A few times I had awakened to feel his presence standing over my bed, but knew it was not a malignant presence.

This still happens from time to time, but less and less frequently.