I accidentally heard my 18yo son and his buddy having intercourse. I didn’t even know he was gay.

So my son’s 18 and graduated this year I’m super proud of him and he’s working at a good job and he plans to move out soon which honestly is bittersweet.

Well anyway I just got home from work about an hour ago and my son and his best friend let’s call him Josh came in shortly after and said hi and chilled with me for a bit then went to his room to hang out like always.

His mom is working late tonight so it was gonna be just us and Josh now I guess but that’s fine. I hung out watching TV for a while maybe 30 mins and started getting hungry so I walked upstairs to see if the boys wanted delivery since I was gonna order some.

Well as I was about to open the door I could hear, well… “noises”. Very obvious grunting noises from my son’s room.

I stood there for a second listening out of shock. I’m not upset or mad, I just honestly had no idea. I know he’s never had a girlfriend at least not one I know about but I always just kind of assumed he was straight I guess just because it’s more common? I don’t know I just never really thought about it.

Honestly if anything I’m kind of hurt that if he’s actually into guys, he never felt comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

I know I’m not an expert on this type of stuff but he could’ve talked to me about it or his mom. We both love him so much no matter who he is. After coming to my senses I got in my car and drove out to get dinner and clear my head. I sent him a text saying,

“Hey son I just headed out to get a bite to eat and I’ll be gone for a couple of hours. If you or Josh need anything I’ll be down the road.

By the way, if I never mentioned it before I think Josh is a great guy and he’s welcome in our house any time. If there’s ever anything you want to talk about I’m here. Love you.”

He hasn’t responded yet since they might still be busy which as his dad I definitely don’t need details about that or I embarrassed the crap out of him since subtlety isn’t really my strong suit.

The whole thing is definitely kind of weird and awkward but he’s my son and I love him and I want him to feel like he can talk to me about anything.

My boyfriend got a happy ending massage and a STI

As per title yesterday my boyfriend of 4 years confessed he got a happy ending massage; while I was away on holiday.

Long story short we went on holiday but he went back home before me because I had more holidays and wanted to spend extra time with my family.. 4 weeks go by, I get home a few days ago and yesterday he dropped the bomb.

While I was away (roughly a week before I got home) he visited a massage parlor while still a bit drunk from the night before, not only that but as the person was rubbing him out, he started to give her some oral too and that’s how he contracted an STI, even though he says he retracted from it cause he didn’t want oral.

He didn’t tell me straight away because I was back home with my family and he didn’t want to ruin my holiday and our relationship while I was having a great time, and also not to put me in the situation of being on a plane for 20+ hours sitting in my own thoughts worrying.

He’s definitely feeling like crap because of it, he can’t explain WHY he did it, he says that this is the first time in 4 years that he does something behind my back and he wants forgiveness.

Now, something I was so sure of was that he’d never cheat on me cause he’s always been an advocate for a monogamous honest relationship and this honestly destroyed any trust I had in him.

I told him that I have no idea how to process this mentally so the best thing is to try and keep it neutral until we go see a psychologist for some couple counseling, he’ll be paying for it and he says he’s willing to do anything in his power to make this right and that he doesn’t want to lose me for something stupid that he unfortunately did.

He seems very apologetic and willing to fix this, he says he’s sorry for the pain he’s causing me and for jeopardizing our relationship.. but now all those words feel empty to me.

Any advice? Thank you! 🙏

I (19f) lost my baby earlier this year. My husband (27m) is fine waiting to try again. My mom (45f) is pressuring me to start right now.

Earlier this year I lost my baby eight months into the pregnancy and it was really, really tough. Coming home from the hospital without my baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

All I wanted to to way lay down in her nursery and cry. My husband was so amazing. He would hold me for hours while I cried, make sure I ate, helped me shower, got me dressed.

He told me that we can try again when and if I’m ready again. I know he wants more but I know he won’t get mad if I tell him that I don’t want to try again (but I think I do, I’m just not sure when).

My mom on the other hand thinks just because I got medically cleared I should be trying again, because she says it’s going to be a lot harder to get pregnant this time.

She also said having another baby will help me heal emotionally, and she says that’s why I’m still having a hard time, and that I might not have as long as I think I do to have kids (she had to have a hysterectomy in her early 30s).

Last night she sent me a list of things that I should be doing. It said stuff like not to drink cold beverages to promote a warm womb and not to eat things that were too spicy.

She said she was going to ‘make sure I was doing these things to make sure nothing else happens to another one of her grandchildren’. My husband got really mad when I told him she said that and now he wants to cut her off completely.

I just feel bad cutting her off because she’s my mom and I know she doesn’t realize how she’s coming off. And I think she just wants to help in her own way.

I (36m) separated from my wife (35f) after finding out about her affair with my brother (27m). Unsure where to go from here.

My post on r/relationships got removed for some reason, but to sum it up, I found out around 2 weeks ago that my wife (35f) and my brother (27m) had an affair eight years ago. It happened while my brother was in college and living with us while I was at work. My SIL revealed the truth during dinner after she and my brother had an argument beforehand. If you want more details, I can send you the original post.

First and foremost, I DNA tested my children. The affair took place years before they were born, but I wanted to be sure. They are mine. My kids mean everything to me, and it’s difficult having to try to explain what’s going on and why their parents are suddenly splitting since they’re so young. I’ve been very depressed as of late, and besides work/taking care of them, it’s been hard to find the energy to do anything. I feel so numb, and it’s been so difficult adjusting to this new life.

As for my wife, it’s been hard talking to her. Every time I see her, I’m reminded of her and my brother’s betrayal. I imagine them in my own home, knowing that both of them knew they were hurting me. She’s currently living with a friend while I stay in the house. I’ve been very cold towards her, and every conversation has been mainly about our kids. Under our state’s guidelines, my wife and I are separated and undergoing a “cooling off” period for a couple of months. However, there is almost no question we are going to get divorced. My wife has been very bitter about this, and she’s gone from calling me an asshole to begging me to take her back. I’ve received texts/calls/emails from some of her family members asking me to reconsider. I don’t think that I could ever really trust her again knowing she hid this from me especially when she had constant contact with her affair partner, my brother. I love her, but I also resent her deeply.

A few days ago, I agreed to meet with my brother and SIL. It was a tough decision because I haven’t seen him since that night at dinner, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to meet face-to-face without punching him in the face. He again expressed remorse and guilt. He told me that he and my wife had always been close, and the following is basically a summary of his side. My wife and I met in college, and he was introduced to her when he was still a teen. He said their relationship at first was like having an older sister. Our dad left when he was young, and I think that I tried to fill the “fatherly” role which led to us frequently clashing. Meanwhile, my wife was someone that would listen to him. He said that whenever they saw each other, she was always friendly and warm, treating him like a best friend. He said that he developed feelings for her which she apparently was aware of, but nothing ever happened between them because she treated him like a friend. It wasn’t until he was in college and living with us that she reciprocated and the affair began. She was the one to break it off because she wanted to try rekindling our marriage. It was a secret that both of them agreed to keep, and he was terrified of telling me especially after our relationship improved in adulthood.

I’m still furious with my brother for lying to me over the last 8 years, but his story helped me understand the context of the affair a little better. It doesn’t make me feel any better, but I am at least aware of how it started. It makes me sick to think of my wife doing this. This woman, once the love of my life and mother of my children, is like a stranger to me now. My SIL only knew that my wife and brother had an affair, but she was unaware of their earlier relationship. She apologized to me for revealing it the way she did and humiliating both me and my brother over an argument they’d had earlier.

Thank you for reading this far. I’m unsure of where to go from here. I still feel so broken and lost after my wife’s revelation, and I know that I have to keep going for my kids, but I’m not sure when (or if) I can think about forgiveness or moving on to a new relationship. Where do I go from here? It feels like my life has been completely torn apart.

TLDR: I separated from my wife after finding out she and my brother had an affair, and I’ve never felt more lost.