Am I exaggerating for thinking this guy was rude/creepy?

So one of my best friends introduced me (24 F) to a guy he considered really nice. My friend told me that this guy was very smart, hard-working, sentimental, romantic and that he was basically a “lovable nerd type”. Most of the guys I end up dating are like that because they are really charming and treat me with kindness and I can see why my friend thought it would work. I had only seen this guy one time and he actually asked my friend for my phone number.

Fast forward, last week I finally went on a date with the guy, and to say the least, it wasn’t what I expected. When he first saw me he told me that he knew a lot of people like me (context: I have pink hair) and that “you are always trying to get people’s attention, like, yeah I see you, calm down”.

Then he went on to make fun of the amethyst quartz I’m always wearing calling it “superficial, superstitious”. In this same spirit he started talking about how good/accurate the 16 personalities test was, I thought we were onto something more light-hearted so I responded with something along the lines of “yeah, just like my horoscope” which I think made him incredibly mad, because he started telling me how stupid those things were, and that for an atheist I was too spiritual, and that he doesn’t waste his time on such “superficial things”.

I don’t know why, but I mentioned that I had a Pinterest board about my dream wedding and that I already had my dress, hair, deco… and of course he had to say something crappy: “why are females always so interested in weddings? I really don’t get it”.

In between those awkward moments, we actually had interesting conversations. He asked me what kind of music did I listen to, and naturally, I answered that I loved Taylor Swift. Then he made this face as if he was going to throw up and I asked him why was he making that face, he just told me that Taylor’s music was too frivolous for him, and that he only listened to artist that actually know how to write good lyrics.

So after making fun of the things I liked, my hair, my dream wedding, my favorite things and other stuff I don’t have enough space nor the time to write, he started to talk about his ex and how he didn’t understand why she left and it almost brought him to tears so I just asked him if he had broken a heart and he told me “no, I couldn’t, I’m too much of an empath to do that, I’m just too sensitive”.

See, I’m very open. if you have kinks, experiences, preferences… I don’t care as long as it’s consensual; however, I find it weird to bring this stuff up with someone you’ve been talking to for less than three hours, because he started telling me stories about explicit things he had done, and how it smelled and tasted like, and about that time he was running without anything on, at the beach. Keep in mind I didn’t bring this up, and I never shared anything of this nature about me. Again, no kink shame here, but I expect those conversations with close friends, not with a stranger.

What creeped me out about this guy is that he described himself as very idealistic, sensitive, empathetic, romantic… when in my experience it couldn’t be further from the truth. A person like that doesn’t make fun of other people’s beliefs, hobbies, likes, professions… a person like that doesn’t brag about that time they kicked a boy in school until he started crying, a person like that doesn’t talk badly about others, a person like that doesn’t bring up unsolicited intimate stuff… It creeped me out because I cannot understand how did he come to the conclusion he was like that because those are two different people.

I ask if I’m exaggerating because maybe that’s just his sense of humour, or because my friend told me that he had introduced him to other female friends of his and that everyone thought he was nice, or maybe it’s just my internalized feeling of “you take everything too seriously” and that if I had been so uncomfortable I would have walked out before, which I feel guilty for. Nonetheless, my female friends told me that I’m the right and that if my gut feeling tells me something is wrong, something IS wrong.

I told the friend that introduced me to this guy what had happened a grosso modo and he was baffled because this guy was actually very nice to him and to other female friends he had introduced him to before… but told me that he’s really sorry and that he was going to put some distance with that guy. My friend even told me that this guy told him how good of a time he had with me.

Anyway, have you ever been with people like this? I’m really sorry for the rant.

I don’t want my son anymore

I know that’s supposed to be wrong, but I just don’t want him. His dad started cheating on me right before I gave birth.

I didn’t find out until our kid turned 3.

I was stupid and financially supported a broke man for a decade. I was convinced that my anxiety was just making me extra paranoid. I took several meds trying to make the feeling go away.

Last year was when I confirmed my husband was cheating on me. A couple months ago was when I found out about the STD he gave me (was an STD docs don’t normally test for).

Last week, I found out he started cheating on me while I was pregnant and continued to until I caught him.

I can’t even look at our son. Every time I look at our kid, I just see their father. The feeling of hate and resentment overtakes me. And I feel so horrible about it.

Netizens’ comments

• Can you stay with your parents or relatives for a while? Stay with the son, but let a loving relative help you and the kid while you recover.

• As a child from a mom who did not want him, please seek help for this issue, you have no idea what this does to a child long term.

We often hear supernatural stories from friends and sometimes it is better to avoid the unknown than to be “Dora the Explorer”, a man shared a story about when became ill after getting nosy.

Here is the story:

This story is solely heard from a friend. He usually smokes before going to bed, hence on that day as usual he was by the kitchen window smoking away.

He saw a lady in a black mini dress coming out of the lift from the opposite building and walking down the stairs. Out of curiosity and maybe the lady look pretty good, his eye followed her.

The lady stopped at a certain floor and suddenly sat down on the steps. She was taking things out from her bag and he got really kapo, trying to see what was she taking out.

However, he regretted his move as he saw her taking joss sticks and incenses out of her bag. The worst was that she started munching on them. Guess it scares the hell outta him. But the worst was yet to come. She suddenly looked up and straight at him and was smiling to him while she continue having her ‘supper’.

God, that really did it for him….He ran as fast as he could back to his room and under his blanket.

This incident had caused him 3 days in bed with high fever…

Does anyone have a problem of arguing with everyone in their life?

My parents hated me since I learned to talk because of this. And I started arguing with people online.

At work, no one likes me because I have strong views and argue with everyone. My friends also do not like me because of this, I kept quiet to make friends and the moment I tell my views, no one wants to hang out anymore.

In my defense, I think that everybody else is wrong. But I don’t want to argue. How do I be “normal” like everyone else and have peaceful conversations?

Netizens comments

• I guess you could try to see things from a different perspective? Like try to face the issue from others’ point of view. And don’t be so quick to disagree or disapprove someone’s view. Be cool-headed, calm and collected. All the best 🙂

• “i think that everyone is wrong” LOL

Nothing wrong with this tbh its just what you do after, are you talking down and being rude to people telling them they are wrong and you are always right? (assuming this is the case since everyone hates you lmfao) Could it also be that its not so clear as your are right and they are wrong and more that both you and the other party are right and its just a matter of perspective/understanding? Try not to look/talk down to people just because you are right, try to be more compassionate and understanding and talk to people kindly, not with a know it all attitude. Noone likes that.

• “In my defense, I think that everybody else is wrong.”
  That’s the root of the problem. Nobody is correct 100% of the time, that includes you. Having an ego that isn’t humbled down gives rise to cognitive biases and makes us think we’re right all the time.

Don’t focus on wanting to be right, focus on getting it right. What that means is, treat conversations as if you and anyone who are discussing on a particular topic, are both doing so to get to the truth in a neutral way that considers both party’s points of view and objective evidences/logical thinking. Not your version of truth or their version of truth. I understand this can be difficult because not everyone has this mindset and some people just want to proof they’re right. If you think they’re wrong, don’t use labels (idiot, fool etc), don’t use directly/passive aggressive language and don’t talk over them loudly. Those only serve to set up a heated argument, not a constructive discussion.

Learning when is the right time to convey your thoughts, and doing so tactfully is important. For example, if you and your group of friends are just talking about what food tastes the best, there’s no point arguing with them over something as trivial as this. Next time you want to argue with someone, ask yourself, is starting an argument with them a productive thing to do? Or do you just want to show them you’re right to feed your ego? If you just want to feed your ego, then make yourself shut up.

There’s a saying: “Never miss an opportunity to shut up.” – Mark Twain. I repeat this quote to myself if I sense I’m going to start a foolish and meaningless argument with someone.

My dad (46M) and my aunt (37F)(mom’s sister) are getting together after my mom (45F) cheated on him. I (21F) am completely supportive of their relationship but am not sure if that’s weird.
About a year and a half ago, I found out that my mother was cheating and having an affair with a co-worker of her’s. I immediately told my dad and this basically led to the end of their marriage.

My mom was never there for me as a mother. She didn’t care about my upbringing and barely was part of my life. My dad was the one who was beside me every step I took and every hardship I had. Through out my entire childhood, she was using my father, was always angry with him and treating him like shit. My father would always comply to my mom’s need and she did nothing in return.

But I still had a female family member to look up to and that was my aunt. She cared more about me than my mom did and was always there for me if I needed her. We got along great and she also helped me through some tough times. She supported and encouraged me. She always had a good relationship with my dad as family. She even showed her support when she found out her sister cheated on my dad.

I currently live together with my dad and barely have any contact with my mother. My dad recently sat me down to talk and told me that him and my aunt were really getting along great together. He told me that they were both interested in seeing each other romantically but weren’t sure if I would be ok with it and if this would complicate my bond with my mother.

This does seem a bit weird to me but to be honest I actually am supportive of the idea. They were both very important in my upbringing and I’m sure they would be great for each other. I already barely have a relationship with my mother so I really don’t care about what she has to say. My father and aunt both deserve to be happy. How should I navigate the situation?

My BF and I keep running into each other and people are freaked out

I(23F) spend 5days out of the week at my BF(24M) place. We are both working and studying and our brains are fried most days. We watch TV or go out for dinner like once a week, but mostly spend time either discussing HW because we are majoring in the same thing or making cool plans for when we have more free time to travel. Plans we do end up realising btw.

Sometimes we go out with friends, especially on the days we are not together. We never really ‘inform’ each other. One of us might send a text ‘I’m out, will call in 2-3h’ but that’s it. I really don’t need to know, I trust him.

Well, as luck would have it, I ran in my BF at a bar. I was out with one of my girl friends and he was out with his best friend. We laughed and just sat a little off from each other so we do not have to keep shooting awkward glances around. A month later, it happened again. I wasn’t even ‘out out’, my sister and I were picking an order at a burger place and my BF was there with another friend. Big deal, I don’t see the issue.

I told some of my friends because I thought it was mildly amusing but they all said this was dysfunctional and kinda wrong. My BF and I have been together for 2 years, own a dog together, my friends found it freakish that we run into each other randomly.

I asked my BF what he thought and he said his friend said the same thing. Now it got me thinking, should we start texting each other what we are up to? Idk, I honestly suck at things like these. Any advice welcome.

nO one is intentionally running into the other, honest coincidences. There are a few more which might be why people freak.

We have 5 days we stay side by side working, then two days when I go home and maybe go out as well as I am busy during the week. We only tell each other after the fact, you know share and stuff.

People seem to be really freaked how we just don’t check in with one another.

One day someone asked my BF where I was, he said if he had to guess I was home. I wasn’t, I was at a bar. Or someone was asking for board game night, called me I agreed, then called my BF later and he asked if I can join. Ensue confusion because I already agreed and he didn’t know.

I hope this makes sense.