How can i accept and get over the unpleasant things my MIL did towards me and my husband?

She has did a few things (e.g: kicking us out of her house when we had nowhere to stay because she wanted privacy in her 5 room flat alone, after we paid for her refurbishing of the home / also refusing to acknowledge my presence or talk to me or reply to me).

Another issue that i get angry about everytime is when she attended our wedding reception half heartedly.

She was late and didn’t welcome my husband’s side of guests whom she herself invited. She acted like a guest and she acted like she is not a host. Throughout the wedding she didn’t really talk and black face. She is a single mother so no FIL there to comfort her. Halfway through the reception she just left and let my parents handled everything else.

It is such a bad memory whenever i think of the day i got married. I tried my best not to cry during the celebrations of the reception. My husband was sad too.

Fast forward today.. It’s been a few years and i just cannot forgive nor can i forget all this.my first year of marriage was rocky especially after being kicked out as we had nowhere to stay and had to beg my parents to squeeze into their home before finding a place to rent. In this sense i felt it was mostly her fault. I have always imagined my first year of marriage to be a good one but it was full of challenges. I have never mentioned my anger/sadness to her when we visit, and when we interact it’s always pleasant despite our history. My husband has expressed his disappointment to her previously (especially about the wedding) but she will just ignore him.

I concluded that she probably has her own issues, my husband did mention she can be quite erratic… so now I want to forgive and forget everything but it’s been really hard. How do i do this? Of course i cannot expect her to apologise or do anything, but i want to forget all this on my own terms and be at peace

FYI all these did not happen before we got married. She was totally normal and fine before we got married. Sometimes i feel a little shortchanged by this, especially when my husband has been treated so well by my parents but i have been treated like shit by his mom.

Girlfriends brother is weirdly close to her

She always talked about how he gives her the best massages, rubs her temples, everytime he hears her have a facetime with me he comes into the room and completely excludes me from the conversation for over an hour sometimes.

she has him rate all of her outfits, he buys her very revealing expensive dresses, he knew we planned on moving in together and he only suggested that they do the same after she told him.

he tells her how she’s going to go on month long trips out of country with him even when she says she’s not interested.

Idk if I’m just thinking I’m in the twilight zone, or if this is just normal lol.

Straight up feel like a complete 3rd wheel whenever we are all together, have never met anyone that treats their siblings like this.

probably overthinking it, but God damn does it ever weird me tf out.

Netizens’ comments

• Some siblings form trauma bonds due to traumatic experience they had to go through together , which makes them closer to each other. I wonder if this is their situation. There might be a root cause to their closeness, I would dig deeper. If you find nothing, then you should start worrying

• It kind of sounds like they are close and he is protective of her in a weird way. I’d find a way to talk to her about it in a way that doesn’t get her defensive

I’m tired of being the at home mom while my fiancé is out partying

Currently laying awake with baby at almost 4 in the morning, absolutely exhausted but unable to sleep. He said he wasn’t going to be gone long, I told him we can’t be going to bed at 3 in the morning for the 4th night in a row.

Baby likes to wake up super early and I get stuck watching him. He told me for sure he’d be back home before them. It’s about to be 4.

He said he was going to start coming back an hour ago. He’s legit 5 minutes away. I know he’s not cheating, just probably caught up talking the ears off whoever is still awake at his friends.

I messaged him that this wasn’t fair. He said he wants to spend as much time with his friends as possible because he feels like he’s going to get a job soon.

But it’s been a struggle to get him to even look at any jobs, let alone the ones I find for him and send to him.

I just ask for a part time job from him. I’m about to start mine in 2 days, where’s my ticket to go out and stay up late? Where’s my ticket to sleep in till 1 for the 4th day in a row. Where’s my ticket to get upset that the baby is being a baby and making noise and not being soothed fast enough and waking me up?

Just really needed to vent because I’m sick of this.

Update: It’s almost 5 and this dude just came home. I’m livid.

I did talk with him a little when he got home, as much as I had the energy for. I was cold when he walked in and reminded him that he said he’d be home way earlier.

He apologized, but I didn’t really take it. I asked him what happened and he said he didn’t know, he just got so drunk and couldn’t sober up. I told him that he did that to himself and that i was very angry with him over it. He said his head started to really hurt is why he didn’t leave when he said he was going to. Again, I told him he did that to himself.

I told him that when baby wakes up, he’s going to watch him so then I can get rest. I was sick of paying for him being irresponsible. He’s currently sleeping on the couch and will be getting a formal talking to later. There are clearly things we both need to work on, such as my ability to set boundaries, and his ability to respect them. Our relationship will be determined based on our talk, for better or worse.

Our baby boy is 6 months old and was a surprise to the both of us. Luckily he’s very healthy and happy and hasn’t been affected by any of this.