Backstory: I got into an accident before and will never be able to have kids. None of my family members know of this. They know about the accident but not about this. I have always wanted to be childfree so it did not affect me much mentally.

I have finished my Masters Degree last year and never dated before. I got a very high paying job directly through campus placements.

My parents immediately wanted me to get married after getting a job but I wanted to work on myself and explore a bit.

They said no and I said that it was my wish. All my life I did what they wanted and for the first time when I talked against them, they were not happy. This was last year and they gave up after covid started.

So I picked up some dating apps and went through them but no luck. Then my parents introduced me to a family friends daughter and we clicked kinda.

Looking back, I was a fool. She said yes to anything I said and never complained about anything. I felt kinda weird about it. I wanted her to express her interests but she always said she was interested in whatever I do. Well, i did not think much about it.

I said that i wont have kids ever and she surprisingly said ok. I was like damn, she is probably the one as it is very hard to find a partner who is childfree in my country (or atleast i thought), but we were in the initial stages and I have not told about my accident.

Long story short, we slept together a month ago, i used condoms because safety first. The next day on, she started ghosting me a bit. I thought it was due to my performance in bed and wanted to give her some space.

Then she texted infrequently and only replied OKs and Ks and one line answers. I thought maybe she wanted to end the relation and was sad but left it at that.

Yesterday, all her family came to my house and she claims shes pregnant and the father is me. Needless to say, I freaked out and wanted to collapse on the ground. I did not say anything while they were talking about marriage and stuff that needs to happen because I got her pregnant.

Please advice me on what steps to take now

My dad wants me to start wearing a bra around the house

I (18F) stopped wearing bras around the house around 2 years ago. I didn’t like coming home from school and feeling that thing around my back and chest.

Now my dad is saying that I need to wear a bra. My mom says that “He’s a man, it’s distracting, he doesn’t need to see his daughters like that.”

As if I’m walking around completely topless. I just want to be comfortable, is that wrong? I feel like my body is something that needs to be censored and covered up all the time even at home.

He says that if my chest were smaller I could get away with it but I can’t because I have a larger chest. It’s really frustrating.

To address some things

My dad isn’t the one who actually told me my chest is distracting, my mom was. Out of both of them, my mom is the more conservative of the two of them.

She has a lot of bigoted ideals, my not wearing a bra is just one of her many gripes with some things I do.

And another thing, please stop calling my dad a creep. I know how the post sounds, but I think it’s more of him being conditioned to be repulsed by his daughter’s body. but it is still very frustrating to be told to strap on a bra when I’m trying to relax.

I hate being a woman. I don’t hate having the external physical appearance, but having a uterus feels like such a fucking burden. I’m only 19, I know, but intimacy with men never feels safe.

I never feel like I fully own my body, I have to sacrifice my autonomy to chance (even tho I’m on birth control that 1% still terrifies me).

I want to remove this burden from my body. I want to own myself. I feel bad for hating kids, especially when there are people in my life who love them, I feel bad for hating everything about pregnancy.

I had a nightmare where I was looking into the mirror and I was suddenly pregnant and looking at my pregnant belly. I don’t think it’s normal to hate having a uterus this much.

I got my period when I was 12! I WAS A CHILD WHEN I COULD START HAVING KIDS. My body doesn’t fucking care, it’s betraying me.

I get so distressed about this I feel like I can’t breathe.

I was feeling really low and out of control of my body when I wrote this. I wanted to say that I don’t actually hate children, they simply remind me of my own anxieties around pregnancy and hatred of my body—which of course is not their fault!

Also I wanted to say that you don’t have to be a woman to have these feelings. anyone of any gender can feel this way about their uterus. I really appreciate all of y’all and relate to many of you deeply.

I have a 27-year-old sister who started dating one of those “brutally honest” guys few months ago. He can be quite rude and make backhanded comments about me and the family sometimes which is bothersome but my sister says he’s not malicious but is just the brutally honest time and we should get used to it.

I visited my parent’s house to celebrate my sister’s birthday and my husband couldn’t come with me because he was busy, after the party, we all sat down for dinner and my sister’s boyfriend said it was weird that my husband and I don’t have kids despite being married for 6 years now, I was shocked that he brought this up but I gave a short answer stating that it’s because of infertility issues, he asked on which side and I didn’t wanna answer but my sister said it’s on my side.

I got uncomfortable as he looked at me for a second and said that maybe not having kids now is a good thing because he thought women over 30 might “produce” defective babies due to age.

I told him it was none of his business but he said that he was just giving his “honest opinion” and that’s all. I, in return, told him while maintaining eye contact: “trust me, if I wanted an A-hole’s opinion, I would’ve farted!”.

Literally, everyone at the table burst into laughter and my sister and her boyfriend were stunned. A few seconds later her boyfriend excused himself out and my sister followed then sent me a text after they left saying I was mean and disrespectful towards her boyfriend and insulted him maliciously just cause he stated his honest opinion, she also said I ruined her birthday by being petty and making her boyfriend the joke of the night in front of the family.

I didn’t respond but she demanded an apology via Whatsapp as soon as possible, my mom agreed that I shouldn’t have said what I said and should’ve just ignored him knowing how he is.

Am I wrong?

Here is what netizen thinks:

• Does the mother really think ignoring these dreadful comments was really the best thing to do?

• Exactly! This guy just takes advantage of everyone’s politeness and social manners. Maybe a solution is to reply unfiltered.

• I once heard someone say that people who say they are ‘brutally honest’ are often more concerned with the brutal part than the honest part

Being pregnant is awful.

People say your skin glows and I have had friends say they loved being pregnant and would gladly do so again.

I feel like all of this is a lie? My skin has gotten way worse since the start of my pregnancy and my stomach hurts constantly. I sleep very poorly and wake up in the middle of the night. This is all within the first 6 weeks.

I am getting an abortion next week and while I am not excited about the recovery from that I am excited to be done with this parasite.

Netizens comments

• I’m happy for women who had easy pregnancies because I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone.
  My skin, hair, and gums were affected. I was so nauseous I lost a ton of weight. My super nose made everything a trigger so I was sick all day.
  I threw up so much the capillaries around my eyes burst making it look like I’d been beat up.
  Migraines, back pain, and insomnia, and I developed a metal allergy that never went away. My post partum wasn’t a whole lot better.

• From my understanding the first few (12 or so) weeks are often the most difficult as the body is going through so many drastic physical and hormonal changes. Things like sickness or trouble sleeping can clear up and recur. It’s different for everyone.
  It’s also worth considering the tendency for people to look back things with rose tinted glasses. For your friends; the issues, discomfort, tiredness etc was worth it all because of the outcome. They wanted a child. That said, it’s not worth it if having a child isn’t something you want to do.
  I hope all goes well next week and I wish you a speedy recovery.

• I did not glow. Pregnancy is so hard on your body. Totally destroyed mine.
  I hated it when I first stayed feeling the baby move, it was horrible. Like some horrible alien thing inside. It was better once it was bigger, but very gross seeing your belly move about. While pregnant my son kicked my ribs out of place so painful.

Do most women change into their pajamas or comfy (unflattering) clothes as soon as they get home?

When I get home from work the first thing I do is change into my pajamas. Take my bra off. Get comfy.

My boyfriend has recently complained about this, saying that it isn’t “attractive.” Like the other day I was getting into bed and he just looked at me and said “that is the least attractive outfit I’ve ever seen.”

It really hurt my feelings. I mean it was just an oversized gray t shirt and shorts. Why does it matter what I wear at home? Is this normal?

Netizens’ comments

• A friend of mine once wisely told me that “home is where the bra isn’t”. Ever since it’s the first thing I take off when I get home

• I work from home most days so I’m usually in sweats or my pjs when my boyfriend comes over. I used to apologize for my unkempt appearance but he repeatedly told me that he loves how I look no matter what and he’s glad that I’m comfortable.

• Does your boyfriend bother to be appealing at all times or nah?

• I would love to know what HE was wearing at the time he made that comment.