MAN SUBMITS NOTICE TO QUI7 JOB HE HATES BUT SINCE THEN, EVERYDAY ASK IF IT’S THE RIGHT CHOICE

asking for a reality check too.. quitting my job and questioning it everyday

i dont know if i am living life right. yeah i know the typical answer of “there is no right way”, yall know what i mean.

i sent in my notice a while ago. its my first job. i didnt want to consider taking no-paid leave or a sabbatical because i just want a clean slate. im tired of my team management and i dont have the energy or drive to challenge it.

it all started from performance reviews. there were some points which i concede before that i took liberties with and i worked to fix those.

Then later, they started talking about how i am slow with new tasks and that i need to improve on how i pick up new knowledge.

it is new. wtf. even they admit that i work fast with stuff that i am familiar with. the activites that i am slow at new where guidance is limited to none. There is no one available that can help. Worst, I am learning this alone. At least if I am doing this with someone else, we can bounce ideas off each other. i can try to explain why i am slow here, what deadends i run into which forces me to backtrack but they wont listen because at the end of the day, “metrics”

ffs, i tried to be productive in our reviews. asked about what we can do together to improve things. they said that i need to be more passionate and invested. Either they are talking about OT without talking about OT or they are fucking stupid.

i keep thinking about what to do. im not stressed out to the point where i cant sleep but i am starting to feel a sense of hopelessness about it all. just jaded.

i dont have much responsibilities irl. parents dont rely on me for retirement. i am not in a relationship and i dont have debts.

this is my first job and ive been at it for nearly four years now. i know that there are smarter ways about handling this, “quiet quitting”, “taking no paid leave” but im just so done with it.

parents are supportive regardless of what path i take.

i thought about the pros of leaving.

1. maybe i can try my hand at making games. i have the required skillset
2. i can finally commit to a fitness routine, get ripped ( and maybe a gf /j )
3. learn to drive coz maybe grab delivery is my future
4. go on solo trips. i have never done those before and maybe I’ll get enlightened from one of those.
5. heck, maybe my high blood pressure is due to these issues. ( did extensive checks which returns “essential hypertension” which basically means “no good reason” )

and then i thought about the cons of leaving

1. coward. im merely bent, not broken. i can always just choose to listen in one ear and out the other ear during reviews. just let that ego of being right go.
2. job market is bad. your job is comfortable rn. pay is decent when compared to the average citizen. and you are leaving because you cant take it when someone says you are wrong?
3. the management is new. things might improve for the better. changes can be made. and who likes a guy that only stays when times are good and runs when things get tougher? coward.
4. you can say whatever you want. sabbatical, self-improvement journey but at the end of the day, its still “unemployed”, “no income”, you are basically a NEET ( not in education, employment and training )

i dont know what i am looking for posting this. maybe validation or maybe more point of views that i can consider.