My husband’s hygiene is so bad it’s hard to be near him

My (26F) husband (27M) has horrible hygiene. He has acne and horrible breath as a result. His breath smells like actual cat poop, and it is so bad that when he speaks to me within 5 feet I can smell it.

I have tried to help him with skincare, I’ve tried to help him develop routines, I’ve been incredibly understanding.

However, it is a fight to get him to even shower and brush his teeth. I don’t know how he does this, because if I smelled like that I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I will remind him, and he will say he’s going to do it, and then won’t.

Today, I tried reminding him again and he screamed, wrapped a robe around his head, and collapsed on the bed screaming.

This can’t be normal. I don’t know how to get him to brush his teeth. This is constant, and it never stops. A lot of the time, he’s normal.

But he throws a temper tantrum if I ask him to brush his teeth. I am literally sick of it. He will (for lack of a better word) screech if I try to hold him accountable for things in general.

He has complete crying meltdowns. I have tried so hard to be nice and understanding but it’s been incredibly hard for me.

At this point, I think his hygiene is inconsiderate to the people who have to be around him at work. I have never met a man like this, and I think I’m going to leave him.

Netizens’ comments

• My husband had horrendous body odor. He literally had to keep his shoes and socks outside the stench was so unbearable (like make your eyes water bad). He did shower on a regular basis.

It was a symptom of renal cancer. Once he started chemo, no more eye watering stink.

I did have a roommate that had a enormous fear of water. Almost drowned as a kid. Wouldn’t even drink water…No bathing, no showering, no swimming, no going out when raining. They would use a damp sponge to wash. They are/were a marathon runner and glass blower. Both activities generate a lot of sweat. More than a sponge bath was needed.

• Has he always been this way? I know I’ve been through phases where my mental health was so bad that any sort of hygiene was insanely hard for me. Brushing my teeth, showering, the works. But my boyfriend helped me with it.

Even if he physically had to bring me into the bathroom and bathe me or get my toothbrush ready and sit there with me while I cried and did it, but not once did I have a tantrum about it because I just didn’t want to. All of that said, I don’t think it’s a mental health thing considering his actions, but it could be.

I would keep that as a possibility, but if this doesn’t change, you are not his mother. You shouldn’t have to force a grown man to shower and brush his teeth. It’s honestly probably just laziness at this point and when you call him out it makes him realize how lazy he is, which is probably embarrassing, which causes him to lash out instead of fixing it. Good luck

I sometimes have the unpleasant task of telling people that they can’t do things they want to do when at work, since i’m responsible for everyone being compliant to stuff.

I always am polite, professional but firm. I sometimes use humour too, if i think it’d work.

it bugs me that sometimes people don’t listen, but when i pull in my ang mo colleague, they listen.

why is this still happening in this day and age? I feel bad my ang mo colleague has to attend extra calls / reply to additional emails on top of his work just to get ppl to listen. but he’s super chill about it and happy to help.

what does he have that I don’t? We’re both equally skilled at our jobs.

Netizens’ comments

• If my superior told me to comply with humor, I’d probably take it as something she said in passing rather than someone she’d want me to comply with.
  • (OP) humour is a good way for ppl not to feel like they’re being talked down to. At the end of the day, everyone, regardless their level of seniority, deserve respect.
• You’re not wrong that everyone regardless of their level of seniority deserves respect. However, there are times to be humorous and times to be serious.
  If you want to get a message across, using humour probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Imagine if rules and law were informed to others through humour. Probably wouldn’t work well.
• While race might be an issue, there are many other possibilities that we should consider before defaulting to race as the reason why people are more willing to listen to your colleague than to you.
  Have you observed the way in which he communicates the message to the other staff, perhaps you can try mirroring it? Does he make an effort to communicate with the other staff on matters other than work i.e., small talk(building a personal connection with people can really help to get the message across, and to stop associating your name with bad news)?
  Communication is a skill, especially when it comes to communicating news that people likely do not want to hear.
  It’s a worrying trend because after some time word will get around that you are a pushover and you will never be able to get them to listen. I know this sounds nasty but you have to “scapegoat” a few recalcitrant people and really throw down the hammer to show everyone you mean business.

As a Singaporean man, I was never really a fan of Singaporean girls. I felt like they always treated me like a slave and I had no control in our relationship.

I was always under their orders and I was the one who had to do all the work, plus they are harder to please. I was never appreciated for my efforts and I felt like I was taken for granted.

Thai girls treat their men like kings, unlike Singaporean girls

So, when I had the opportunity to move to date a Thai girl, I jumped at the chance. I had heard from other people that Thai girls treat their husbands like kings, so I was eager to find out if this was true.

I have now been married to a Thai girl for several months and I can confidently say that the rumours are true. She is always respectful of me, she listens to what I say, and she appreciates the small things I do for her.

She always makes sure that I am taken care of and she always puts my needs before hers.

Unlike Singaporean girls, they treat their husbands like treasure. They are always willing to help out and are always willing to put in the extra effort to make sure that both of us are happy.

They understand that a relationship is a partnership and they are always willing to compromise if it means a better outcome for both of us.

Another thing I love about Thai girls is that they are very open-minded. They are more willing to try new things, which means that our relationship is always fresh and exciting.

We are able to have conversations about anything and everything, and I am never bored with her.

Finally, Thai girls are very independent. They are not afraid to make their own decisions, and they are not afraid to speak their minds, unlike the Singaporean girls I have dated who always beat about the bush then end up crying father and mother.

In conclusion, I can confidently say that Thai girls treat their husbands like kings, unlike Singaporean girls who treat their husbands like slaves.

I highly recommend finding a Thai wife if you want to feel like a King.

When my boss told me she wanted me to go overseas with her, I was excited. She was the head of the department, and I thought she was giving me a great opportunity to prove myself and get a promotion.

She had been giving me special attention for some time, and I thought I was finally getting what I deserved.

Wanted to have S- with me

Little did I know that she had something else in mind. Before our trip, she started to act differently around me. She would constantly make suggestive comments and flirt with me, and I started to feel uncomfortable.

She even asked me to come to her house one night, which I declined.

I should have known then that something wasn’t right, but I was too excited about the trip and the potential promotion to think much of it. So, I went ahead and agreed to go with her.

When we arrived at our destination, I quickly realized that my boss had something else in mind. She kept trying to get me to spend time with her, even after hours.

She’d suggest going out to dinner or taking walks together, and it all started to feel like a date.

One night, after a few too many drinks, I finally realized what she was after. She was trying to get me to sleep with her in exchange for the promotion.

I was disgusted and horrified, but I didn’t want to ruin the opportunity, so I reluctantly agreed.

I spent the rest of the trip in a state of shock. I couldn’t believe what I had done and I was filled with shame. I was in a very difficult position and I knew I had to go along with her demands if I wanted to get the promotion.

In the end, I got the promotion, and I have to say that it was worth it. I’m now in a much better position financially and I’m able to provide for my family.

It’s been a few months now, and my neighbour’s renovation doesn’t seem to end.

Every day, they start drilling at 8am, and they don’t stop until like 8pm. It’s been like this for weeks now and I can’t stand it anymore.

Drill and drill non stop, like never ending

I have tried my best to cope with this situation, but it’s been tough. I haven’t been able to get a proper rest for weeks.

I keep waking up very early in the morning because of the noise and it’s starting to take a toll on my mental and physical health.

I feel exhausted all the time and I am having trouble concentrating on my work.

I have talked to my neighbour about the noise but they just don’t seem to care.

They keep telling me that they need to get the renovation done as soon as possible and that the noise is just a minor inconvenience. But for me, it’s more than a minor inconvenience.

It’s been weeks of torture and I can’t take it anymore.

At this point, I am feeling helpless and frustrated. I can’t do anything to make the situation better and I feel like my neighbour is taking advantage of me.

It’s like they know that I can’t do anything so they just keep drilling and making noise all day long.

It’s been weeks now and I still can’t sleep properly. I am starting to feel like I am going insane and I don’t know what to do.

I just wish this nightmare would end soon, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

I am starting to lose hope and I don’t know what to do.

I want to ask all the ladies, can you accept if your bf/husband subscribes to Onlyfans? What if the account is by someone you know?

Will you prefer they tell you first or you don’t want to know?

Bf subscribed to my friend’s onlyFans

I swear I didn’t mean to spot check my bf but I accidentally found out that he subscribes to the onlyfans channel of our mutual friend.

I guess I’m not shocked that my bf uses onlyfans cos I know it’s normal for guys to watch p*rn but I can’t help but be bothered that the p*rn he is watching is of someone we know and got hang out with.

Before this I already know this friend does onlyfans cos she did share with us that she started it during covid to earn money after she lost her job.

She used to be an air stewardess but cos of covid, she couldn’t fly and had to find other jobs. She say since she always like to dress up in attractive outfits, might as well make some money off it then she also don’t have to go find another job.

So I’m not shocked that this friend does onlyfans but I thought she only told the girls about it. I don’t know how my bf found her channel.

I always thought that I’m quite an open-minded gf who doesn’t mind her bf looking at other girls but then I can’t help feeling jealous and upset after I discovered this.

I tried to convince myself that he’s just trying to be a good friend and supporting her business but the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I feel.

Scared bf turned on by her friend

I only saw one of her videos and I already cannot stop thinking about it. My bf as a guy confirmed will feel even more turned on lah! The thought of my bf being turned on by my friend really makes me very uncomfortable.

I really really want to talk to my bf about it but I don’t know how to ask him. I don’t want to sound petty or worse, make him think that I’m invading his privacy but I really don’t know how to be okay about this.

I think he can also sense my unhappiness cos we keep fighting for no reason nowadays.

Any advice on what I should do?

A netizen recently uploaded a screenshot of a WhatsApp conversation with his or her boss online.

Context

Context of their conversation is that the employee was informing his or her boss that he or she is on MC, and could not make it to work for two days.

The boss then acknowledged it but a few hours later after midnight, texted the employee to check the admin phone as if the boss is still asking the employee to work.

Unhappy that he or she still needs to answer to work related queries, the netizen asked if it is allowed for bosses to ask employees to work even though the employee is on MC.

Here is what other netizens think

• Any boss who texts me at 12AM is no boss of mine.
  
• Leave that clown behind and do yourself a favour to find a new job.
  
• Unpopular opinion here: If you’re the sole person holding onto the phone which is the only form of contact between the parents/students and the learning centre, it is your responsibility to either
  
  1. Handover the admin phone to a working staff or
  
  2. continue to be the point of contact and relay information to your boss even while on MC/leave.
  
  Despite you being on MC, students and parents still need a way to communicate with the centre. However, if you’ve tried to handover your responsibilities but your boss rejects and asks you to handle it, then f- her 🙂
  
• As a boss, one should also make sure that the sole responsibility of a certain is not on a single employee, no?
  
  Would it be the employee’s fault if they become incapacitated from illness or an accident and there’s no one to take over?
  
• But over here the employee made 0 suggestion that he/she cannot check the phone. If they told the boss they cannot check, then the boss might offer a different solution. Like maybe the boss will suggest grab express the phone to her or someone else?
  
  The boss’ communication was clear right, she’s scared that someone will call the admin phone and no one answers. The employee said okay. If never even communicate with the boss, I will give the benefit of the doubt to the boss.

I was busy trying to organize my notes for the presentation when I heard a loud knock on the door. It was my colleague, Maria (not her real name).

Maria strutted in with a smug expression on her face, her eyes darting around the room as if she was searching for something.

Think she very smart because last time PSLE do well get into ‘Special’ stream

She had been transferred to our team recently and this was the first time I had seen her in the office. She immediately started talking about her past experiences and successes and how she aced her PSLE and studied in the ‘special’ stream last time.

My colleagues and I exchanged glances and I could tell that we were all feeling a bit uncomfortable. We all knew that Maria was trying to make us feel inferior to her, and it was starting to get on our nerves.

The meeting started shortly after and Maria continued to talk about her experiences, showcasing her intelligence and capability. She was clearly trying to prove that she was smarter and more capable than all of us.

However, none of us were impressed by her words and instead, we were starting to get annoyed. We all knew that Maria had a lot of potential and that she was intelligent, but her attitude was starting to grate on us.

Realised a lot of smart people high IQ but no EQ

After the meeting, I decided to talk to Maria about her attitude and try to explain how her behavior was making us feel.

But instead of listening to my words, she became defensive and aggressive. She yelled at me and told me that I was just jealous of her success and that I was trying to bring her down.

After this outburst, I gave up and decided to just keep my distance from Maria. I could tell that she wasn’t going to change her attitude anytime soon and I didn’t want to get into any more arguments.

In the end, Maria’s arrogance and superiority complex were too much for us to bear and she eventually became a source of tension in the office.

Everyone was trying to stay away from her and her presence made us all feel uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, no one was able to do anything about it and Maria continued to think of herself as smarter and more capable than the rest of us.

We all knew that she was talented, but her attitude was just too much for us to handle.