I used to think that most men were strong, independent and capable of taking care of themselves. But as I have grown up, I have noticed that this is not always the case.

A lot of men like ‘gu niang’, only know how to live off women

I have on many occasions seen how some men rely totally on women to pay for their expenses and pay for them to have fun.

It seems like some men today are too weak and soft. They want the women to do all the work and take care of them. They think that if they don’t, they won’t be able to have a good time.

They don’t understand that it takes strength and hard work to make something of yourself.

It makes me so angry to see these men relying on women to pay for them. They expect them to take care of them and never even think about giving back.

I have a few people whom I personally know owes their woman a lot of money from simple things like their share of the drinks when they go out and have fun with their friends.

It shows a lack of respect for the woman and for all the hard work she does.

I know that some men are genuinely unable to pay for their own expenses and may even need help from time to time but that is alright if they at least put in some effort to try to do something for themselves.

But there are many more men who simply don’t want to work hard and take responsibility for themselves.

They get away with relying on women and never have to worry about their finances. I think this is a common issue in today’s world and something needs to be done about it.

It’s an unfortunate reality that some men will never learn to be strong and independent. They will always rely on someone else to do the work for them.

My wife and I had been married for five years and had our first child four years ago. We had always been in agreement on how to raise our son, but now my wife was telling me that she didn’t think we should cane our son when he misbehaves.

I was brought up with caning as a norm, my wife was never caned before by her parents

I had grown up in a household where caning was the norm and I had seen the positive results it had on my siblings and I. I truly believed that caning was the best way to discipline a child, and I was determined to use it on our son.

My wife on the other hand, was never caned before in her life and to be honest, she acts a little pampered from time to time.

My wife and I argued for hours, but eventually she convinced me that caning was not the best way to discipline our son. I reluctantly agreed to try other methods, but I was still not happy about it.

For the next few months, my wife and I tried out various methods for disciplining our son. We tried using time-outs, taking away privileges, and even rewarding good behavior.

But nothing seemed to be working. Our son was still misbehaving and we were running out of ideas.

Then one day, I had had enough. I told my wife that I wanted to revert back to caning our son, and I could see the shock and disappointment in her face.

She tried to talk me out of it, but I was adamant. I believed that caning was the only way our son would learn right from wrong.

My wife eventually agreed, but she was clearly not happy about it. But I was determined to prove her wrong.

I caned our son the very next day when he misbehaved and threw a tantrum. He was so scared and upset, and I could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes.

I wanted to take it back, but I couldn’t because I had to be stern and show him that it was wrong.

My wife however, was so heartbroken to see my son getting caned that she immediately went up to him to sayang him and pamper him like it was my fault.

I wonder how will my son ever learn.

I am afraid that if I do not beat him for his mistakes now and he does not know the consequences, he might get taught a lesson by outsiders in future.

It was always a challenge to keep up with my girlfriend’s lifestyle. She was always so keen to have the latest branded items and to dine at high end restaurants.

I tried my best to keep up with her wants and needs

I knew that I had to make an effort to impress her and treat her to the best of things. I was willing to put in the extra effort to make sure she was happy and that she knew that I valued her.

At first, it was still manageable. I was able to buy her the branded stuff she wanted and take her to the restaurants she wanted to go to.

It was a way for me to show her that I cared and wanted to make her happy.

It became hard to catch up after some time

Unfortunately, after a while, I started to realise that the money I was spending on our dates was taking a toll on my finances. I was starting to feel the strain of not being able to keep up with her lifestyle.

I had to start cutting back on other things in order to make sure I could continue to treat her to the things she wanted.

It started to get to a point where I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I felt like I was constantly trying to keep up with her and it was becoming too much.

I tried to talk to her about it but she didn’t seem to understand. She kept insisting that she wanted to go to the fanciest restaurants and buy the most expensive items.

Broke up with her to save my wallet

Eventually, I had to make the difficult decision to end things between us. I knew that it was the only way I could get out of this unsustainable lifestyle and be able to take care of myself financially.

I had to let go of the girl I thought I was in love with.

I still think about her often and wonder what could have been if I had been able to keep up with her lifestyle. But I know that it was the right decision to make at the time.

I am now more financially stable and I am able to take care of myself.

It’s a shame that it had to end this way, but I’m glad that I was able to make the right decision for myself.

A netizen shared a post online and is also seeking advice on how to deal with the situation that the family is facing.

According to the netizen, their family maid had borrowed money from the loan sharks and they are now at the receiving end of loan shark harrassments.

Here is the netizen’s post

“Maid borrowed money from loan shark

Hi guys, recently found out that my maid borrowed money from a loan shark. made a police report, loan sharks are sending photos n threats. it’s been causing stress for my family esp when there’s elderly at home

does anyone have any advice / past experiences on how to deal with this matter?”

Here are what netizens think

• I was in this exact same situation before.
  
  Here is what I did:
  
  Under no circumstances should you communicate with the loanshark, or worse, pay or offer to pay them any money. This will only signal to them that you are a profitable mark. Block them, ignore their messages and calls, and be aware that they could be using multiple SIMs.
  
  Install a CCTV or IP camera in a location that is visible from outside your house. This will deter any of the loanshark runners. Although nowadays, loansharks do not use physical runners – they mostly use photos of your house and your family, taken from the internet, to scare you. The loansharks themselves may operate out of China or Malaysia.
  
  Suspend your social media accounts for now. Do not give the loanshark free ammunition to use to threaten you.
  
  Make a police report. The process itself is reassuring, even if they never catch the culprits.
  
  Send the FDW home ASAP. Sorry, but this is a must. She is clearly untrustworthy and quite stupid, and her continued presence in your home will be a liability for you and your loved ones.
  
  Take each day one at a time. The threats will continue for about a month, and thereafter taper off. There is light at the end of the tunnel – keep faith.
  
• Tell the loanshark that if they are stupid enough to lend your maid money, don’t expect that you are just as stupid to pay them.
  
• Install a cctv, it might not help much but just in case threats escalate, there are recordings. If threats are via phone, block the numbers. Letters, can’t do much. Get legal help if needed. Have a read on the below, might have resources that help.
  
• Report the FDW to her agency and MOM so that MOM can ban her from coming into Singapore again.
  
• Send back the FDW and tell the loan shark that she has gone back. They will stop harassing then as there’s no point

I am a Singaporean man reaching my 40s soon.

My cousin who is almost 20 years younger than me recently told me that nowadays couples like to date and f- first to see if they are suitable before they decide whether to get into a relationship with each other.

I couldn’t fathom why someone would go through such lengths and was curious to know more about why this is the order of the day.

No more sweet old love like my teen years

I thought back to my teen years and how I had grown up with different ideals.

Back then, it was quite a big deal to have a relationship with someone. You had to get to know them first and then decide if you wanted to take it to the next level.

The idea of having s- first was unheard of and it just wasn’t something that was done.

But now, it seems that couples have changed their approach and are more willing to try and get a better understanding of the other person’s personality before they decide to enter into a relationship.

I asked my cousin to explain to me why this was the case. He said that it’s a way for couples to gauge if they are compatible with each other.

It’s a way for them to get to know each other on a more intimate level, as well as to get a better understanding of their s- chemistry.

It also eliminates the risk of getting into a relationship with someone that might not be compatible in the long run.

I can’t help but think that this approach is a bit risky. It’s quite possible that one partner could be looking for something more serious while the other is just out for a good time.

This could lead to a lot of emotional baggage, which could have been avoided if they had taken their time and got to know each other properly first.

It’s also worth mentioning that this approach might not be suitable for everyone. For some, it could be a great way to get to know someone better and to assess if they are compatible.

On the other hand, it could also be a way to avoid getting into a serious relationship or to just have a good time without any strings attached.

It’s quite clear that the way couples date and enter relationships has changed drastically over the years.

The traditional approach of taking the time to get to know each other is no longer the norm, and couples are now more willing to try out this new approach of dating and f-ing first to see if they are suitable for each other.

I applied for ten days of annual leave. My boyfriend and I had been together for a few years, and we had been talking about a ‘piak piak’ marathon for a while.

Decided to apply for ten days of annual leave to try this out

We had only ever had a few days at a time to ourselves, so we wanted to push it up a notch and have ten days together.

I had never taken ten days of annual leave before, and I knew it was going to be a lot of work to arrange it all. But my boyfriend was so excited about it, and I was determined to make it happen.

So I put in my request and waited to hear back from my boss.

I was a little nervous when I got the call back from my boss. I was expecting a lecture about why taking ten days of leave was a bad idea, but instead, he was surprisingly understanding.

He asked me if I was feeling okay and if there was anything he could do to help. I was so relieved that he was so understanding, and I thanked him and told him that I would make sure to keep him updated on my plans.

Once I had the green light from my boss, I set about arranging for my ten days of leave.

With everything finally arranged, the ten days of our ‘piak piak’ marathon finally arrived. We had an amazing time and enjoyed every minute of it.

We spent the days lounging in bed, exploring each other’s bodies, and enjoying each other’s company in ways we had never before.

It was the best decision I ever made, and I’m so glad I applied for the ten days of leave. It was an incredible experience, and I’m so glad I got to share it with my boyfriend.

I would highly recommend it to anyone in a long-term relationship. It was a great way to reconnect, explore each other’s desires, and just enjoy the moment.