This happened yesterday so I’m still traumatized, yet here I am letting the world know about my screw up.

For context, our house is extremely small. We’re currently living with our relatives for the time being in this big house but we’re given literally just three rooms. The rooms themselves aren’t even that spacious; one is the sleeping, dining, living room area, while the other is the work/storage area that leads to the bathroom.

So, here I was, right? Going about my day, browsing Man haven with my whole family watching the Wall-E in the other room, meanwhile, I’m looking for good “films” to watch. I have this weird thing that turns me on more, but I’ve been limiting myself to watching vanilla as of writing this post. Then, I found more weird stuff And it turned me on. (Old-school looking animation, but I mean it’s a small price to pay for double the moans.

As soon as the girl walked in on the two other girls doing it on the club room’s couch, I got rock hard and I thought to myself “this is wrong” with a chuckle. Immediately, I went to grab my emergency fap-pack consisting of my phone, a pair of earbuds, a towel, and a change of clothes. I’ve been doing this since I was 13, I know my stuff. Go to the bathroom, set your phone on silent, bring a pair of earbuds so nobody hears it, you smell too after you come so I usually take a bath after, and last but not the least I open the window to let the suspicious stank out (poor neighbors).

Another successful fap, I think to mysel and I start erasing the evidence. Then, I see it. A notification about casting something to a TV. Holy…, my ku ku jiao went inverted and became a magic hole so fast before in my entire life, all the blood went from my stick back in circulation as I turned off my phone’s Wi-Fi. I nervously finished cleaning and taking a bath, preparing for the worst. Took my sweet time in there, but I was delaying the inevitable. I stepped out and stayed in the other room.

I quietly sat down and continued typing on my computer. Nobody said ANYTHING. The TV was still on playing Wall-E, and my little brother (6) was still smiling and laughing because of the weird egg robot. In the end, I don’t know if it actually streamed, but I sure as hell hope it didn’t. Maybe it was the neighbors (poor bastards, now they know how the stank came to be)

How to get husbands/boyfriends to do things, without having to nag them?

I hate it when my husband tells me to stop nagging. And I get it – I hated being nagged by my parents too when I was growing up.

However.. if I don’t nag, he simply does not do what I’ve asked him to do.

I carry 99% of the mental load in maintaining this household which includes a kid and having my in laws stay with us. Whatever tasks I can do myself, I’ll do it even though I am not a SAHM and work a demanding job. Whatever tasks I can’t do by myself or I feel need a joint decision, then I’ll ask him for help.

When I delegate tasks to my husband, it just doesn’t get done however. So i have to repeat myself. Then when I repeat myself a few times, the response is always, “can you stop nagging?”

For context, my husband’s job is demanding but only within working hours. He has a lot of time after work and during weekends to pursue his hobbies (sports, gaming, catching up with friends, etc) which I don’t restrict at all.

And one more thing that annoys me to no end. Sometimes when I am nagging, my husband will respond “You do lah! You got job meh?” I just think this is very disrespectful, because I DO have a goddamn job even if I earn less than 20% of what he earns.

So please help me. How do I get my husband to do things without having to escalate to nagging at him?

Thank you.

Update: I’ve noticed that some people mentioned that I definitely married him for his money – but that is not true. We met in university, and I definitely had no idea that our incomes would have such a huge gap. (In fact, I actually thought I would earn more than him, just from the median salaries of the graduates of the faculties we were each from.)

Also, I do not want to be a SAHM. Please do not underestimate the amount of work that a SAHM has to do. When Mondays come and I start work, I actually feel a sense of relief at finally getting a “break”. Definitely will go berserk if I’m a SAHM.

How do I explain. That I don’t have genitals anymore to this girl that I’m seeing? 27M 26F

My name is Kyle. I’m 27m and I had cancer. Im seeing this girl named Sarah. Now this cancer was aggressive and it caused me to lose my “male organ” because it was in there.

Now, I pee through a hole in my perineum behind my balls. So yeah I know I’m kinda screwed when it comes to bedroom activities. But I’m still up for do whatever she wants me to do to get her off.

Besides maybe an open relationship. I don’t think I could do that. But I’m talking to this girl and last night, she mentioned that she couldn’t wait to sleep with me and I kinda stopped her because I was scared to get down to business.

She’s been making lots of remarks about giving me a BJ and I don’t know how to say, maybe something like “yeah about that, can’t blow what I don’t have”?

I also don’t know if she will just change her mind about me. She’s the first girl I’ve tried to date since I lost my genitals and sadly I never got to lose my virginity because I was always nervous and look how that turned out.

So how the hell do I explain it to her

Netizens’ comments

1. Two things come to mind
   -I will be shocked if anyone reading this can relate holy shit dude I’m sorry that happened I can’t even imagine
   -get good with that tongue boy
2. I think you should be blunt and to the point.
   Something like
   “I’m going to stay this bluntly and as to the point as possible.
3. Be bluntly honest. Your a strong person to have survived. And a strong person can be honest.
4. I’d just bring it up sooner than later. If she’s cool with it she’d be cool with if you waited a month. If she’s not cool with it then it’s better to go your separate ways before more hopes get up and more feelings of attraction or lust build up, which will hurt more on the way down.
5. I hate to say prepare for rejection. It’s a possibility. But this is an unfortunate situation where being honest is truly the best way to approach it. Sooner rather than later

I lost a ton of weight and my bewbs ended up getting deflated basically. I’m only 20 and they’re saggy pieces of shit.

I would need a lift and augmentation to make them look even decent. I can’t not wear a bra out in public because they’re not perky and ppl would just stare.

I hate taking my bra off when getting intimate with my boyfriend, what makes it worse is he’s extremely attractive and when i have to take off my clothes, i feel disgusting and like he’s f-ing me out of pity.

I cover them during missionary with my arms because I hate them so much, I can’t ever fully enjoy myself during intercourse because I just worry at how ugly they must look.

They are the one thing about me that I cant stand, I hate looking at myself because everything else looks nice and proportionate then you see these fugly saggy bewbs and it just completely ruins it.

I always imagine myself in other peoples bodies and wonder how it feels to have nice racks. End of rant i guess

Netizens’ comments

1. What we see in the media, on tv, etc. may lead you to believe that they are abnormal, but they are extremely normal. Most inevitably sag because of gravity and skin elasticity changes.
2. He doesn’t care about the sag. He loves you, right?
3. As a guy I’ve never had an issue with saggy ones. Love how they move with the motion as opposed to implants that just sit there and stare at me.
4. Well…two things. First…we’re our own worst critics, so it’s definitely probably not as bad as you think it is. We all have things we’re insecure about and that’s totally normal.
   Number two…cosmetic surgery is out there, so you could definitely utilize a skilled surgeon if you think it would be valuable for your self esteem and confidence. And there’s no shame in getting a cosmetic procedure. At the end of the day, it’s your body and you’ve got to be the one to love it unconditionally.

You’ve probably heard of maid experiencing domestic violence, but it’s the other way around in my house. My maid has been verbally insulting my aunt of special needs for the longest time and I don’t know what to do.

At the slightest things, she behaves extremely aggressively and hurls insults at my aunt. For instance, sometimes my aunt asks her if she needs to take a particular medicine. I don’t get why the maid can’t give her a polite and kind answer, as it’s a reasonable question. Instead she replies like this:

HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT TO ASK ME THE SAME QUESTION I ALREADY TOLD YOU LATER (when in actual fact, she literally chose to ignore the previous questions of my aunt).

And then when it’s dinner time, instead of calling her to eat, she says

DINNER READY ALR YOU DK HOW TO COME OUTSIDE AND EAT IS IT

Another one, just today morning. Apparently the kitchen tap wasn’t working but my aunt didn’t know about it and accidentally touched it. And the maid literally screamed:

STOP TOUCHING BC OF YOU ONLY I ALWAYS GET SCOLDING

I wasn’t there during this third incident but I heard it from my mother. My blood is boiling right now and these kind of aggressions towards my aunt, who you should be taking care of, not ill treating, is really getting out of hand.

I have gotten into nasty arguments with the maid before where I was this close to hitting her, but restrained myself. My parents had numerous talks with her but they only work for a few days where she pretentiously starts sweettalking, and then starts her usual shit again. I feel like she’s just gotten too comfortable in our house and has clearly overstepped her borders, which I feel should’ve been more assertively placed from the beginning but it’s too late now. She’s been here for almost 10 years.

Is there something else I can do? I am very protective of my aunt and I literally cannot tolerate her being mistreated like this anymore. Is there a way I can involve police or MOM? Please let me know.

EDIT: I’ve also had conversations with my parents about getting another maid. But they seem to have gotten too comfortable with her. Also, apparently she has loans that she still hasn’t settled with them.

How to cope with joblessness?

I wasn’t able to secure a job before graduation and now I’m paying the price, as my search approaches its 10th month my mental health is the poorest it’s ever been and I struggle to go on.

I know it’s silly to be upset over this when I have my whole life ahead of me, but this is a very shaky first step and it’ll likely affect things down the road. Employers look at your last drawn salary after all…

I just can’t help but feel like a failure. The unemployment rate for fresh grads is ~6% IIRC. Probably less as more time goes on. Yeah I know I shouldn’t compare but I’ve done so poorly it’s hard to see this as anything other than a fail.

Am I gonna be jobless even an entire year after I graduated? Two years? Or maybe stuck working with conniving bosses who take advantage of my inexperience, already had some run-ins with that. Maybe the rest of my life will just be a string of more failures, building up on one another as I fall further and further behind.

How can I cope with these thoughts?

Netizens’ comments

1. Talking to your friends help. Whining helps.
   What you can do: Network network network. Not even for specific jobs but talk to people, find out what they’re doing, and sometimes it lands you an opportunity. It helps you to find an interest instead of just trying to fit in somewhere, then realizing it’s a soul sucking job you hate.
2. I was unemployed for nearly 14 months after graduating abroad a decade ago. To make matters worse, what I majored in was not exactly marketable. I had applied for a more than 500 jobs abroad and got 3 callbacks. Eventually, I came back to Singapore. The situation was better but still difficult. I ultimately landed a position in a graduate associate program doing operation work with a local bank.
   Fast forward to today, I have been continuously in the workforce since mid 2014 and have even changed industry. Don’t let your job status define you or change your outlook in life. Take care of yourself, go exercise and continue to take courses to improve your situation (Coursera, LinkedIn Learning are relatively low cost). Do a review on your fashion sense, how you are presenting yourself and what do you wear to an interview. Small little things matter.
   Don’t think too much of last drawn salary. Land a job first then pivot a year or two later. Changing jobs and promotions can even the ground fairly quickly should you be earning less.
   Job application is ultimately a numbers game. Apply enough times and you will find something. Keep pivoting until you get something closer to what you want. And no matter what, don’t compare yourself with your peers. You will only see those doing better than you and not those in a worse situation.
   Don’t lose hope!

I, 43f, am currently married to my husband, 49m. I have filed for divorce. We have 3 kids together all boys 14, 12, and 9. I have a son, 20 from a previous relationship that my husband also helped raise.

This story actually starts in Aug. On Sunday, my husband very out of character started a fight with me. He’s never done with me. He left. We worked it out and he came back with a list of 10 things he wanted changed to come back. We discussed it and worked it all out.

He told me I could make a list and I did with 4 things on mine. We had lost each other in raising and focusing on the kids.

We were in heaven for two weeks. Happiest we had been for years. I had been noticing he was on his phone a lot and when I would walk by he would quickly switch apps.

I had seen him deleting messages on Facebook and he got a random call. He claims him leaving the first time had nothing to do with another woman. It was about finding himself.

Monday, he was helping our youngest take a shower. He didn’t hear me coming. He jumped when I appeared. (He doesn’t startle easily so that was a shock to me.)

He quickly switched apps. I finally said I wanted to see his phone. He went into a full on panic mode and refused. There was no yelling this time. I pretty much told him it was “them” or the kids.

He left, changing his number, blocking me and our kids from any contact with him, quitting his job, and moving away. He left us with no money, no income, no insurance and all the bills to pay.

After he left, I learned that one night, he made a late night phone call. My 12 year old heard him and when asked about it the next day, my husband shushed him and gave him the death glare to stop him from bringing it up.

I also realized after he left that I was doing everything on his list but he didn’t do any on mine. Was I wrong to ask to look at his phone?