feeling like i wasted my youth

28f here. just got out of a 9 year relationship. we were engaged but broke it off before we got married

gonna be a long post so you don’t have to read everything. just want a platform where i can word vomit because i don’t have many close friends to talk to.

let’s call him C. i met C when i was 17, we were in the same orientiation group in jc. back then we were pretty close friends and he confessed to me at the start of j2. i rejected him because i wanted to focus on my studies, and he got together with one of our mutual friends, let’s call her S. during this period of time we drifted as friends, but during a short get-together when we were 19 he told me that he broke up with S shortly after alevels. he told me he still had feelings for me, and after a few months of chasing me we got together.

during our 9 years together i wouldn’t say it was perfect, but then again which relationship is perfect… i loved him and i was happy.

on our 5th year we broke up because i found out that he was contacting S again, telling her that he still had feelings for her, that he was going to leave me for her. S rejected him and came to me with screenshots of their conversations and that’s how i found out. we broke up for 4 months during which he kept contacting me and begging me to take him back.

during this period of time my family was struggling financially and my mum was involved in an accident that made her lose her legs. he chipped in, helping us cover hospital bills, even helping to cheer my mum up and being her emotional support.

i was touched by his gestures and forgave him for emotionally cheating with S.

he made me feel secure. he never reached out to S again, and he didn’t show interest in other girls. when he proposed last year i was thrilled. i really thought we were going to start a family together.

and then he suddenly broke things off a few weeks ago. saying that he couldn’t get over S and he was going to go back to her. saying that he no longer loved me and our intimate life was a disaster. i was mostly in shock and denial, i couldn’t believe that 9 years of my life is just gone like that, but now that i’m starting to realise that he’s never coming back, i feel angry and most of all, depressed.

i feel like i wasted my entire youth on him. he was my first boyfriend. i gave everything to him. my mum really loves him. when she found out that we broke up she was hysterical. she said that i’m 28, and that i’m too old to find love, how am i going to have kids etc etc. honestly i have the same worries. i feel like my youth is gone and now i have to start from scratch at 28. my friends are all married or in serious relationships. i’m clueless and hopeless and i’ve wasted my twenties with him.

Just caught my boyfriend of four years sleeping with 3 women

I just walked in on my boyfriend with 3 women. We’ve been together for 4 years and I’m honestly falling apart.

I don’t want to see anyone irl right now. I don’t want people to know and give me the generic comfort. I don’t want people to see me breaking down.

So here I am, looking to vent to random strangers about our seemingly perfect relationship crumbling right in front of me.

He hasn’t stopped texting my phone in 6 hours. I have 54 missed calls, i don’t want to block him bc it feels so… final.

I’m not getting back with him, but i just can’t bring myself to sever the ties. Anyways, please chat me up so i feel like im not sitting in my house drinking alone lol

Netizens’ comments

• It seems final because it is final. You’re not getting back together, your words, so why delay the inevitable?
• Try to find solace in that at least you know now and not four more years down the road.
• I know it hurts but he’s just done you a massive favor now you can move forward in life and find someone that loves and cherishes you.

how do yall escape talkative cab driver?

Help?? I’m going from tana merah to pioneer and I’m currently at bedok and not only has he kept talking nonstop the past 5 min, he’s talking so loud and fast too.

I was being polite so I just did occasional cools and okays and hahas but I feel a headache coming up. I stopped responding bur he keeps “right or not ah girl” help please

I eventually told him how I think I’m having a migraine then he starts rumbling about herbal medication.

Then I just made a loud gag and told him how whenever I get headaches I’ll puke especially when I talk too much and that finally put a stop to it.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, will be using those tips real soon. Lesson learnt: always have wired headphones in hand

Netizens’ comments

• “Sorry uncle I very tired. I sleep ok?” its that simple
• Please tell the grab driver if ignoring the convo doesn’t work !! I’ve read an article about how a grab driver was let go just bc he received a complaint due to him talking too much. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind u telling him the truth :0
• Just tell him or her politely that you are not in the mood to talk
• I will ‘pick up a phone call’ or plug in earphone tell uncle im on zoom meeting.

Um, I think I was just harrassed on the MRT train??

I was taking a Downtown Line train that was heading towards Bukit Panjang when I was suddenly approached by a man who asked me to take a photo of myself and send it to him on WhatsApp.

I literally had no idea who this man was and why he wanted my photo so I asked him why he wanted my photo. He kept replying with the same answer that he “just wanted my photo” and kept insisting that I send the photo to him on WhatsApp. Obviously I was weirded out and refused to comply.

When the train reached the next station, I just quickly made up an excuse that I had to alight at that station and bolted out of the train door.

As I was alighting, I think the guy tried to grab my school bag but lost his grip. By the time I had reached the escalator I saw that he had retreated back into the train and was no longer pursuing me. I immediately went to the passenger service counter to lodge a report but they said there was nothing much they could do unless if I file a police report.

Should I report this to the police or do I let it go? Cause I’m not sure if this counts as harras

I gave up on dating and women.
I’m 36, a dude.

I was a bit of a late bloomer, when friends started to be pining for girls I just didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, I just wanted okayish grades and have night’s over to play games with my friends. It came later, I was a weirdo like many other folks, tried unsuccessfully to find myself a girlfriend.

After a while I looked in the mirror and admitted I wasn’t really a catch, more of an immature kid with no social skills and little to offer. So I worked on that, did sports, joined cooking classes and literature clubs. I liked it, met a few people, made friends with some of them, but it never blossomed into more.

I joined dating apps, even hired a dating coach, and strongly recommend to stay away from it.

At the end of the day, I never had someone interested in me.

As time went on, the idea of intimacy and relationship started to appear like a fantasy, like something that’s real for others but just a fancy part of my imagination for me. The idea of someone wanting to spend time with me and enjoying intimacy feels weird and foreign, made me feel more and more different from my friends and other people.

After a while I became so disconnected that I ditched dating apps and stopped trying to flirt and date. It went slow, it’s not an active process, it’s just dropping one thing after the other without noticing until you’re out of the dating pool. I’m realizing it now.

I guess it’s some form of defense mechanism after feeling like I lost so much time trying to date/flirt. To not lose more I only consider other folks as friends and nothing more, try to ignore and reduce my libido as much as possible as masturbation is a loss of time and don’t like fantasizing about intimacy. I avoid romantic movies or songs too.

Instead, I try to find all the other things I can enjoy alone to pass the time and make it a good day. I prepare a new recipe for when my sister comes with her kids to eat, I work abroad six months at a time and get to see new sights and cultures, I read good books in the cozyness of my room and write my own, I do sports and run in the forests and it feels good.

I’m alone and do feel lonely and touch-starved at times, but I can handle the feelings and go to sleep with a smile after a day well spent, and that’s good enough.

If you’re read it all, thank you, I just had to put it out somewhere. Have a wonderful week.

Sandwich Gen (How to get my dad to save?)

Hi, my dad is 63 yo this year and he has a full time job , bringing home a gross income of approximately $1500 now. Despite his 40 years of work, he doesnt have any savings… Everything in the house has been paid and catered for so the money that he brings back is solely for his own use such as transport, food smoking, beers and buying lottery.

However, he seems to be extremely poor in managing his finances, i always tell him to save part of his income upon receiving it before spending the rest but it always went on deaf ears. And this resulted in him having to approach either my sister or me on a monthly basis to “borrow” money. If he’d followed my advice, this vicious cycle would be broken.

We wish that we could help but we cant always help as we have our families and stuff to pay… we have our own liabilities…

Any ideas on how to talk to my dad on this?

Netizens’ comments

He’s like surviving on $45 per day, per month,

that is if his payout is sufficient at all .

And don’t harp on his 40 years of no savings.

He spend 25 years just to clear payment for his flat.

Another 15 years to at least pay for your raising expensive ( yes his responsibility in raising you cost money)

It’s not that simple to save money when you don’t even have enough to begin with.

I know I’m going to sound shallow and get roasted but I’m going to say it anyway.

Secretly I hate lazy and fat people. If you’re lazy and not fat I won’t find it as annoying. But I really cannot stand fat people. Those who are so fat that they need a motorized wheelchair to move around. I also hate fat youngsters. You got no excuse to eat till your face swell to double the size and look more pregnant than a woman.

I’m in my 30s and I find it ridiculous that some friends my age cannot control their weight. Please don’t give the excuse about body type or medical when you have no health issues. I have friends who managed to look the same or even start to take care of themselves after having kids. So I don’t believe its acceptable to look like a balloon after NS. Diet and exercise plays a huge part for sure. Not caring about these 2 elements just shows that you’re lazy.

I have a cousin who was fit during his teenage years. NS improved his shape but he got fatter and fatter after that. Always eat junk food and smoke and drink. I was so shocked to see him recently as he haven’t been updating his fb posts for years. He has ballooned to triple his size. His fiance is normal built I wonder how does he not crush her to death when they have sex or if he can even make it stand? His face is so swollen I don’t even know where to look when I talk to him. He’s literally panting and breathing very hard even while he’s seated. Not like he’s on a treadmill. And he’s not even half way through his 20s.

I wouldn’t be able to not do anything about it if I looked like him.

Waiting for fat people to slam me. But I’m stating a fact. If you let yourself get to such a stage and do nothing about it, be prepared to hear remarks from people.