Sandwich Gen (How to get my dad to save?)

Hi, my dad is 63 yo this year and he has a full time job , bringing home a gross income of approximately $1500 now. Despite his 40 years of work, he doesnt have any savings… Everything in the house has been paid and catered for so the money that he brings back is solely for his own use such as transport, food smoking, beers and buying lottery.

However, he seems to be extremely poor in managing his finances, i always tell him to save part of his income upon receiving it before spending the rest but it always went on deaf ears. And this resulted in him having to approach either my sister or me on a monthly basis to “borrow” money. If he’d followed my advice, this vicious cycle would be broken.

We wish that we could help but we cant always help as we have our families and stuff to pay… we have our own liabilities…

Any ideas on how to talk to my dad on this?

Netizens’ comments

He’s like surviving on $45 per day, per month,

that is if his payout is sufficient at all .

And don’t harp on his 40 years of no savings.

He spend 25 years just to clear payment for his flat.

Another 15 years to at least pay for your raising expensive ( yes his responsibility in raising you cost money)

It’s not that simple to save money when you don’t even have enough to begin with.

I know I’m going to sound shallow and get roasted but I’m going to say it anyway.

Secretly I hate lazy and fat people. If you’re lazy and not fat I won’t find it as annoying. But I really cannot stand fat people. Those who are so fat that they need a motorized wheelchair to move around. I also hate fat youngsters. You got no excuse to eat till your face swell to double the size and look more pregnant than a woman.

I’m in my 30s and I find it ridiculous that some friends my age cannot control their weight. Please don’t give the excuse about body type or medical when you have no health issues. I have friends who managed to look the same or even start to take care of themselves after having kids. So I don’t believe its acceptable to look like a balloon after NS. Diet and exercise plays a huge part for sure. Not caring about these 2 elements just shows that you’re lazy.

I have a cousin who was fit during his teenage years. NS improved his shape but he got fatter and fatter after that. Always eat junk food and smoke and drink. I was so shocked to see him recently as he haven’t been updating his fb posts for years. He has ballooned to triple his size. His fiance is normal built I wonder how does he not crush her to death when they have sex or if he can even make it stand? His face is so swollen I don’t even know where to look when I talk to him. He’s literally panting and breathing very hard even while he’s seated. Not like he’s on a treadmill. And he’s not even half way through his 20s.

I wouldn’t be able to not do anything about it if I looked like him.

Waiting for fat people to slam me. But I’m stating a fact. If you let yourself get to such a stage and do nothing about it, be prepared to hear remarks from people.

Found out fiancé and his fam are planning to get me pregnant

Admin pls don’t filter this, I don’t have anyone to turn to, not even my parents. Trying to keep this short, am in my mid 20s, fiancé in his mid 30s. I enjoy being with him alot. We’ve been tgt for long and l made it clear from the start that I only wanted a child at 30, which he agreed to. Why at such a late age is because I wanted to continue studying after Uni.

At present, I’ve gotten my masters and am very contented with my job. Not long after I graduated, fiancé proposed and I noticed some changes. The topic of kids started becoming more frequent.

From “see how cute xx’s babies are” to “what will u do if u suddenly got pregnant? You won’t abort the baby right?” Whenever his nephew and niece visited, his parents started joking that I should pop out a playmate for them soon.

A few weeks ago, fiancé drove out to get dinner while I stayed in his room to finish a report on his computer. It’s my fault, I opened his desktop WhatsApp out of curiosity, just wanting to see who he was texting. I totally take the blame at this part.

Everything seemed fine until I saw my name mentioned by his dad. I clicked the convo, and it was them exchanging links on how to get a woman pregnant inconspicuously. His dad wrote that he’d done something similar with his mom and she never regretted having more kids than she originally intended so “(my name) will be thankful next time”

I tried to minimise interaction with his fam after that, but still kept things usual. They’ve treated me with a lot of love and kindness, even offering to buy a condo for us when we got engaged. When I brought this issue up with my mom, she echoed the same sentiments that I should have a child as early as possible.

She didn’t think there was much to it since fiancé and his fam are generous and well to do, so I’d have a comfortable life. When I talked to my dad, he didn’t support their actions but also advised me it was “dangerous to wait too long”.

Right now I’m extremely wary when sleeping with fiancé, which he has been requesting more of, in case he tries to pull anything funny. Have hinted and reminded him that I’d like another 4/5 years in the corporate world before having a child, but he brushes it off, jokingly saying that he’s more than ready to be a dad and take care of us, and his family also want to help raise our kids.

I’m not sure how to feel about this situation. I’m furious that no one is taking me seriously or respects my wishes. But I’m also scared to appear demanding and overreacting, with how people are downplaying the issue. I definitely don’t want to lose my fiancé because I still love him.

This issue aside, I’ve always viewed him as my ideal partner in life, from looks, personality, charm and intelligence. It’s just that because of our age difference, while he has scaled the corporate ladder and feels comfortable settling down, I’m only just starting out.

I wish I could go back in time to stop myself from going through his messages. Am I being selfish for wanting more time before having a child?

company refuses to acknowledge my resignation

hi guys, i need some advice regarding some work issues im facing. im currently interning in a singapore-based mnc and they continually refuse to process my resignation. what should i do?

context: i have been in this role for a little over a year, and i currently see no point in staying. at the start of the orientation, they promised us that we would have a good, meaningful experience and learn a lot during our time here.

however, when orientation about the job actually begun, i saw what a lie that was. the direct superiors of the interns were power-hungry and aimed to take advantage of us, knowing that we were new.

they overloaded us with tasks throughout the day and gaslighted us when we made the smallest mistakes, even when they were the ones at fault.

i switched departments and it wasnt any much of a difference. there was constant office politics, with people wanting to outdo each other no matter the cost to get a promotion.

my superior even made us come in on saturdays to ‘do what we were supposed to do’ and meet his kpis. there wasnt any proper handover procedures in place, and we had to learn things from scratch as the employees who were leaving refused to contact the company again.

as our department is facing manpower issues, we sometimes have to stay awake throughout the night for a few nights a week as well to do our tasks. to make things worse, the company is facing financial issues and isnt looking to increase our salaries, which is already below market pay.

as im not learning much in this role anyway, and this industry doesnt align with my degree prospects, im looking to resign.

however, my superior and managing director of the division constantly refuses to acknowledge my resignation, saying im required to continue my internship ‘by law’ and ‘its only two years’.

ive talked to my MP before, but it doesnt help that my MP has connections with the company and was once managing director of another sister company, refusing to help out with my problem.

any advice on what i should do?

Netizens’ comments

• What law they talking about? You are not their slave. Did you accept anything for a 2 year bond? Take your employment contract and complain to MoM.
  In your email comms to that MP, cc his boss, our PM Lee.  then you would see how fast his attitude turns
• Wah Lao…. What kind of problem is this? Just send in official resignation, they accept or not it’s fine, just go on leave. See if they want to continue paying you or not.
• Just so you know, it’s an offence for them to reject your resignation under the Employment Act