I asked my boyfriend why he kept cheating on me. His answer completely broke me.

So me (30F) and my (EX) boyfriend (32M) were together for over 3 years. After 1 year of us being official, I discovered that he was cheating on me.

I was devastated, but I also believe in second chances. I desperately wanted to give our relationship another shot, so I forgave him. That moment kick-started the downward spiral of our relationship.

I would discover him cheating on a regular basis with multiple different people. Every time I would confront him, he was honest with me. Because he was upfront, I would always give him another chance. I believed that, because he was honest, what he was doing wasn’t that bad. After this catastrophe of a relationship dragged on for the next 2 years, I finally reached my breaking point!

2 days ago, I was in the bedroom and he was in the living room watching TV. I peaked at his phone that was charging on the nightstand. I saw that he had created a new dating profile and was texting other women. I felt so defeated!

This had happened so many times and I just couldn’t figure out why he was hurting me. I came out of the bedroom sobbing and confronted him for the millionth time.

He was completely unfazed and just sat there calmly listening to me. I blurted out, “Why are you doing this to me?? Don’t you love me?? I do so much for you! I cook, clean, sleep with you, support you..everything! What else can I possibly do? Just please tell me…why?!”

He looked me dead in the eye with zero emotion and said, “Because I know that you won’t do anything about it.”

I don’t know why, but what he said opened my eyes for the first time. He was absolutely right! I knew right then and there that I was letting him walk all over me. He didn’t need to come up with bullshit excuses, deny it, or even hide it from me!

So here I am, sitting alone, feeling like the biggest and weakest loser on the planet.

I dont know what to do now

I come from a single-parent family. We are not well-to-do, considered low income, but not poor to the point where we need to scrimp and save and wonder where the next meal will be coming.

My dad earns around $2.5k plus a month?? Me and my sister are living with him at the moment. Both of us are in uni, we are not working now due to school load but have worked pt before and have a bit of savings.

But my dad has been hinting to us to pay for the water and electricity bills, since he feels unfair that we stay home more often than we do and should pay for our portion. It’s not like we leech off him totally, like we buy our own groceries and sometimes even offer to cook for him, but he prefers eating out instead (damn picky).

He keeps insisting that we have the money from our prev jobs to cover the bills, but we are actually saving for the future, I’m planning to get married next yr and my sister and I are not working atm to focus on studies (proj been pretty heavy this sem), so we will be using our savings. And I’m also not willing to pay for electricity since he is the one who uses the ac every night, it’s very unfair. Both of us use utilities responsibly, we dont take long showers or on ac all day, if that’s what you are thinking. I know it’s not a lot a lot of money but it adds up over time. I envy those ppl, whose parents dont expect them to pay bills before they start working.

Sometimes he ‘jokes’ that we should pay him rent too, this is making me so stressed out, I haven’t even started working and I’m already treated like an outsider staying free, maybe he will quit his job and expect a monthly allowance once we start working. He still has housing loans to pay, so he always say how good it would be for us to move out and he can rent out the room. I feel so bad for occupying the space but I really need it, I can’t afford to pay rent now, really.

Then I feel like I’m unfilial, like should I just accept my fate and pay the bills or like what… I will prob move out in 2 yrs time, once I finish my studies. I know we shld help our parents when they are in need (no he is not sick or anything), but I really cant afford it right now, if I can afford rent I would have moved out alrdy. I’m alrdy helping w some groceries and cleaning the house, which btw I’m the only one doing, idk shld I say this but when ppl have kids shouldnt they cover their necessities??

Not like I ask for allowance, just basic stuff like a room, water and electricity, maybe it’s too much to ask for, maybe as someone’s child I’m supposed to help w everything. I’m just too calculative and unfilial.

Fresh grad here, just saw the post of some guy on a 4.5k salary and his parents whatever whatever.

So apparently job mkt is pretty bad now, hearsay average starting pay for my course is 3.5-3.6k.

Even with a 2nd upper and around the same skillsets with my friends, I’m been getting lowballs of 2.5k-3k job offers. It’s either I take one up now and earn low for say 1 year and jump, or wait a few months to accept a better offer. Resume seems similar to my coursemates and internships gao gao also.

But ah. If say I start off with a low starting, is it true the next job will offer me based on that low starting, say 2y later when I jump, I get offered someone’s starting pay as an “upgrade”?

It’s 3 months in alr. Should I wait for a better offer or just take a lowball?

Here are what netizens think:

• Do U need the money? If yes take the low offer job. If no then U can hope for a better market which may or may not come.

• one thing about job is this, if your potential employer see your resume and you have not a good experience, then they might not want you, I would then go for the experience first and then while working also look out for the next opportunity. If your pocket is deep enough u can wait awhile longer but not so long that it doesn’t look good in your resume.

• Bro my salary $6000 plus $7000 a month … how I do it .. I tell you don’t complain … don’t whine , just do your job ,gain experience ,upgrade and wait for opportunity … am I working in the job that what I started out in the area of my specialisation ? Sorry it’s a no … sometimes we work just to survive … and for me I just grind the hard way till I make it in life …

• Just go for it 1st. In the meantime, continue hunting around until u get one that pays u according to your asking salary. If you dont get any good offers even while during employment, continue working for at least a year or two before you move on. That way, you will be out of the “fresh grad” label and with a year or two of working experience to add to your portfolio. That itself will help u have a better bargaining position to ask for a higher salary for yoir next job.

• if you choose to take the job, DO NOT REVEAL YOUR LAST DRAWN SALARY to your next employer. Ask them for their budget, if they want you & they offer you the position, negotiate again for above their budget

A netizen shared how her husband of 22 years wants to leave her for a woman that is 32 years younger than him and halfway across the world, whom he met online.

Here is the story

Marriage of 22 years is over just like that…

My husband of 22 years is leaving me for a woman that’s 32 years younger than him.

He met her on the internet and she is moving halfway across the world to be with him and he has agreed to divorce me as he wants to be with her.

I’m shattered and don’t know what to say or do. 22 years gone just like that.

Netizens’ comments

• Just don’t take him back when he comes crawling back to you for forgiveness.
  Dumps you to meet his internet bestie that he’s never met in person before? What could go wrong?

• I’m sorry. You must be absolutely devastated. What an awful thing he’s doing. I’m sure you two had a wonderful life together before all this and I hope you have strength most days to deal with the divorce. But make sure through it all you take care of yourself.

• Its hard, but it was not wasted time. My ex wife and me also split after 19 years, what should i say its 3 years now and i am happier than ever. Stay strong

• It’s hard to believe after 22 years someone can leave so easily, and for someone 32 years younger, that’s strange. But yes as tough as it is you gotta move on and accept that he’s a dirtbag and he probably always has been.

This happened yesterday so I’m still traumatized, yet here I am letting the world know about my screw up.

For context, our house is extremely small. We’re currently living with our relatives for the time being in this big house but we’re given literally just three rooms. The rooms themselves aren’t even that spacious; one is the sleeping, dining, living room area, while the other is the work/storage area that leads to the bathroom.

So, here I was, right? Going about my day, browsing Man haven with my whole family watching the Wall-E in the other room, meanwhile, I’m looking for good “films” to watch. I have this weird thing that turns me on more, but I’ve been limiting myself to watching vanilla as of writing this post. Then, I found more weird stuff And it turned me on. (Old-school looking animation, but I mean it’s a small price to pay for double the moans.

As soon as the girl walked in on the two other girls doing it on the club room’s couch, I got rock hard and I thought to myself “this is wrong” with a chuckle. Immediately, I went to grab my emergency fap-pack consisting of my phone, a pair of earbuds, a towel, and a change of clothes. I’ve been doing this since I was 13, I know my stuff. Go to the bathroom, set your phone on silent, bring a pair of earbuds so nobody hears it, you smell too after you come so I usually take a bath after, and last but not the least I open the window to let the suspicious stank out (poor neighbors).

Another successful fap, I think to mysel and I start erasing the evidence. Then, I see it. A notification about casting something to a TV. Holy…, my ku ku jiao went inverted and became a magic hole so fast before in my entire life, all the blood went from my stick back in circulation as I turned off my phone’s Wi-Fi. I nervously finished cleaning and taking a bath, preparing for the worst. Took my sweet time in there, but I was delaying the inevitable. I stepped out and stayed in the other room.

I quietly sat down and continued typing on my computer. Nobody said ANYTHING. The TV was still on playing Wall-E, and my little brother (6) was still smiling and laughing because of the weird egg robot. In the end, I don’t know if it actually streamed, but I sure as hell hope it didn’t. Maybe it was the neighbors (poor bastards, now they know how the stank came to be)

How to get husbands/boyfriends to do things, without having to nag them?

I hate it when my husband tells me to stop nagging. And I get it – I hated being nagged by my parents too when I was growing up.

However.. if I don’t nag, he simply does not do what I’ve asked him to do.

I carry 99% of the mental load in maintaining this household which includes a kid and having my in laws stay with us. Whatever tasks I can do myself, I’ll do it even though I am not a SAHM and work a demanding job. Whatever tasks I can’t do by myself or I feel need a joint decision, then I’ll ask him for help.

When I delegate tasks to my husband, it just doesn’t get done however. So i have to repeat myself. Then when I repeat myself a few times, the response is always, “can you stop nagging?”

For context, my husband’s job is demanding but only within working hours. He has a lot of time after work and during weekends to pursue his hobbies (sports, gaming, catching up with friends, etc) which I don’t restrict at all.

And one more thing that annoys me to no end. Sometimes when I am nagging, my husband will respond “You do lah! You got job meh?” I just think this is very disrespectful, because I DO have a goddamn job even if I earn less than 20% of what he earns.

So please help me. How do I get my husband to do things without having to escalate to nagging at him?

Thank you.

Update: I’ve noticed that some people mentioned that I definitely married him for his money – but that is not true. We met in university, and I definitely had no idea that our incomes would have such a huge gap. (In fact, I actually thought I would earn more than him, just from the median salaries of the graduates of the faculties we were each from.)

Also, I do not want to be a SAHM. Please do not underestimate the amount of work that a SAHM has to do. When Mondays come and I start work, I actually feel a sense of relief at finally getting a “break”. Definitely will go berserk if I’m a SAHM.

How do I explain. That I don’t have genitals anymore to this girl that I’m seeing? 27M 26F

My name is Kyle. I’m 27m and I had cancer. Im seeing this girl named Sarah. Now this cancer was aggressive and it caused me to lose my “male organ” because it was in there.

Now, I pee through a hole in my perineum behind my balls. So yeah I know I’m kinda screwed when it comes to bedroom activities. But I’m still up for do whatever she wants me to do to get her off.

Besides maybe an open relationship. I don’t think I could do that. But I’m talking to this girl and last night, she mentioned that she couldn’t wait to sleep with me and I kinda stopped her because I was scared to get down to business.

She’s been making lots of remarks about giving me a BJ and I don’t know how to say, maybe something like “yeah about that, can’t blow what I don’t have”?

I also don’t know if she will just change her mind about me. She’s the first girl I’ve tried to date since I lost my genitals and sadly I never got to lose my virginity because I was always nervous and look how that turned out.

So how the hell do I explain it to her

Netizens’ comments

1. Two things come to mind
   -I will be shocked if anyone reading this can relate holy shit dude I’m sorry that happened I can’t even imagine
   -get good with that tongue boy
2. I think you should be blunt and to the point.
   Something like
   “I’m going to stay this bluntly and as to the point as possible.
3. Be bluntly honest. Your a strong person to have survived. And a strong person can be honest.
4. I’d just bring it up sooner than later. If she’s cool with it she’d be cool with if you waited a month. If she’s not cool with it then it’s better to go your separate ways before more hopes get up and more feelings of attraction or lust build up, which will hurt more on the way down.
5. I hate to say prepare for rejection. It’s a possibility. But this is an unfortunate situation where being honest is truly the best way to approach it. Sooner rather than later

I lost a ton of weight and my bewbs ended up getting deflated basically. I’m only 20 and they’re saggy pieces of shit.

I would need a lift and augmentation to make them look even decent. I can’t not wear a bra out in public because they’re not perky and ppl would just stare.

I hate taking my bra off when getting intimate with my boyfriend, what makes it worse is he’s extremely attractive and when i have to take off my clothes, i feel disgusting and like he’s f-ing me out of pity.

I cover them during missionary with my arms because I hate them so much, I can’t ever fully enjoy myself during intercourse because I just worry at how ugly they must look.

They are the one thing about me that I cant stand, I hate looking at myself because everything else looks nice and proportionate then you see these fugly saggy bewbs and it just completely ruins it.

I always imagine myself in other peoples bodies and wonder how it feels to have nice racks. End of rant i guess

Netizens’ comments

1. What we see in the media, on tv, etc. may lead you to believe that they are abnormal, but they are extremely normal. Most inevitably sag because of gravity and skin elasticity changes.
2. He doesn’t care about the sag. He loves you, right?
3. As a guy I’ve never had an issue with saggy ones. Love how they move with the motion as opposed to implants that just sit there and stare at me.
4. Well…two things. First…we’re our own worst critics, so it’s definitely probably not as bad as you think it is. We all have things we’re insecure about and that’s totally normal.
   Number two…cosmetic surgery is out there, so you could definitely utilize a skilled surgeon if you think it would be valuable for your self esteem and confidence. And there’s no shame in getting a cosmetic procedure. At the end of the day, it’s your body and you’ve got to be the one to love it unconditionally.

You’ve probably heard of maid experiencing domestic violence, but it’s the other way around in my house. My maid has been verbally insulting my aunt of special needs for the longest time and I don’t know what to do.

At the slightest things, she behaves extremely aggressively and hurls insults at my aunt. For instance, sometimes my aunt asks her if she needs to take a particular medicine. I don’t get why the maid can’t give her a polite and kind answer, as it’s a reasonable question. Instead she replies like this:

HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT TO ASK ME THE SAME QUESTION I ALREADY TOLD YOU LATER (when in actual fact, she literally chose to ignore the previous questions of my aunt).

And then when it’s dinner time, instead of calling her to eat, she says

DINNER READY ALR YOU DK HOW TO COME OUTSIDE AND EAT IS IT

Another one, just today morning. Apparently the kitchen tap wasn’t working but my aunt didn’t know about it and accidentally touched it. And the maid literally screamed:

STOP TOUCHING BC OF YOU ONLY I ALWAYS GET SCOLDING

I wasn’t there during this third incident but I heard it from my mother. My blood is boiling right now and these kind of aggressions towards my aunt, who you should be taking care of, not ill treating, is really getting out of hand.

I have gotten into nasty arguments with the maid before where I was this close to hitting her, but restrained myself. My parents had numerous talks with her but they only work for a few days where she pretentiously starts sweettalking, and then starts her usual shit again. I feel like she’s just gotten too comfortable in our house and has clearly overstepped her borders, which I feel should’ve been more assertively placed from the beginning but it’s too late now. She’s been here for almost 10 years.

Is there something else I can do? I am very protective of my aunt and I literally cannot tolerate her being mistreated like this anymore. Is there a way I can involve police or MOM? Please let me know.

EDIT: I’ve also had conversations with my parents about getting another maid. But they seem to have gotten too comfortable with her. Also, apparently she has loans that she still hasn’t settled with them.

How to cope with joblessness?

I wasn’t able to secure a job before graduation and now I’m paying the price, as my search approaches its 10th month my mental health is the poorest it’s ever been and I struggle to go on.

I know it’s silly to be upset over this when I have my whole life ahead of me, but this is a very shaky first step and it’ll likely affect things down the road. Employers look at your last drawn salary after all…

I just can’t help but feel like a failure. The unemployment rate for fresh grads is ~6% IIRC. Probably less as more time goes on. Yeah I know I shouldn’t compare but I’ve done so poorly it’s hard to see this as anything other than a fail.

Am I gonna be jobless even an entire year after I graduated? Two years? Or maybe stuck working with conniving bosses who take advantage of my inexperience, already had some run-ins with that. Maybe the rest of my life will just be a string of more failures, building up on one another as I fall further and further behind.

How can I cope with these thoughts?

Netizens’ comments

1. Talking to your friends help. Whining helps.
   What you can do: Network network network. Not even for specific jobs but talk to people, find out what they’re doing, and sometimes it lands you an opportunity. It helps you to find an interest instead of just trying to fit in somewhere, then realizing it’s a soul sucking job you hate.
2. I was unemployed for nearly 14 months after graduating abroad a decade ago. To make matters worse, what I majored in was not exactly marketable. I had applied for a more than 500 jobs abroad and got 3 callbacks. Eventually, I came back to Singapore. The situation was better but still difficult. I ultimately landed a position in a graduate associate program doing operation work with a local bank.
   Fast forward to today, I have been continuously in the workforce since mid 2014 and have even changed industry. Don’t let your job status define you or change your outlook in life. Take care of yourself, go exercise and continue to take courses to improve your situation (Coursera, LinkedIn Learning are relatively low cost). Do a review on your fashion sense, how you are presenting yourself and what do you wear to an interview. Small little things matter.
   Don’t think too much of last drawn salary. Land a job first then pivot a year or two later. Changing jobs and promotions can even the ground fairly quickly should you be earning less.
   Job application is ultimately a numbers game. Apply enough times and you will find something. Keep pivoting until you get something closer to what you want. And no matter what, don’t compare yourself with your peers. You will only see those doing better than you and not those in a worse situation.
   Don’t lose hope!