I’m quitting my toxic job tomorrow via text as my boss humiliated me today

My boss always had it out for me since i started a year ago, she was never really friendly and never really spoke to me, never really said hello or goodbye but maybe the odd morning we would say hello to one another.

It’s a small cafe and it was obvious that we didn’t really fit each other’s vibes so i thought if i did my own thing and she did hers we wouldn’t have any issues. BOY i was wrong.

Today on shift i was extremely busy with stuff to do as we were closing, i forgot to turn off the switch to the toilet and my boss tells me to switch it off as customers have walked in (it’s a staff room sorta)

she then proceeds to grill me on how i never listen or have any respect for her.

I ofc was like wtf it’s a light switch but she proceeds to tell me that her and the other manager have been talking and apparently i’ve said some nasty things and that i don’t want to be there anymore and how it wasn’t really working out anymore.

I was extremely confused and i asked her to elaborate on those things which she claimed I said and we could sort out any misunderstandings like adults to which she denied

when i kept pressing saying how i had a right to know if it was an obvious issue to her, she then proceeded to power trip me and tell me that she was one in charge.

I was extremely overwhelmed at the situation as it had came out of nowhere and asked her if we could move the conversation somewhere private as i was started to get upset, which she denied (it was in front of my co workers and customers)

i started crying from being overwhelmed from the confrontation and she didn’t care one bit.

She then proceeded to bring up a time where i had called in sick late to my shift, and other little things i did that had no relevance to the conversation

i felt that she was interrogating me and i told her i didn’t have to explain myself if i call in sick and that she can think what she likes.

It felt like she was nitpicking me. I told her i had no issue not working there anymore if it was something she wanted and told her i wanted no obvious conflict though if she wanted me to stay.

She said she was willing to start clean next week with me.

Through thinking i realised that she was nothing but a middle aged price picking on a kid. So f that i’m quitting tomorrow.

I can’t get wet.

I’ve been married to my husband for a year. We’ve only ever slept with each other. Our intimate life is nice, but with one persistent problem: I don’t ever get wet, I just don’t seem to produce any natural lubrication.

It’s not a matter of not being aroused. We always take things slow with lots of foreplay, and he makes sure I’m completely relaxed and ready to go. But I’ll be feeling entirely aroused and still just bone dry.

We use lube so it doesn’t hurt, but most lube causes contact irritation for me and I haven’t found one that doesn’t yet (I’m apparently allergic to aloe, so nearly all of the “natural clean” lubes are out of the question).

I’d like to increase my natural lubrication somehow or at least get to the bottom of why I don’t seem to have any. Any advice is welcome.

Netizens’ comments

1. Go see a gynecologist
2. what’s your age? thats my first thought since I know lubrication can be an issue the older u get. or if ur on any medications, that could be affecting it too. if anything id say just try drinking more water. but also women just have different natural lubrication amounts as well, some have trouble getting wet and some have trouble getting way too wet.
3. Hi, chiming in with the fact that this can be normal. It’s sometimes referred to arousal non-concordance and is basically just a miscommunication between the brain and body. The brain will be ready but the body doesn’t respond. This is not usually a problem with lube, but I see that’s where your problem lies 🙁
   Might be worth seeing a doctor to help you find a suitable lube.
4. Firstly, I am no doctor. I would advise seeing one to know for sure. Now what I wanted to say:
   Some women just don’t get wet. I once say a tv program where a doctor explained about it and there was nothing wrong with it. It can maybe be a bit inconvenient to always need to use lube and I can see how it can be painful to always read how men love it wet but there’s nothing wrong with you. I’m not sure if something can be done but a doctor might help.

My wife keeps gaining weight and I love it

My wife was very skinny when we started dating 10 years ago. Just because life happens, she’s on birth control and meds for her psychological issues, she has gained about 30 kg in those 10 years.

She was never ugly or unattractive. But since she gained weight, she has become so much more attractive.

When I see her with nothing on, I feel this animalistic need to screw her brains out. It’s even more intense than when we were teenagers.

She has a bit of a belly, thick thighs, and a huge behind. She is the most attractive she has ever been and I think she is the most attractive woman that has ever existed.

I tell her how beautiful and attractive she is all the time. I can’t keep my hands off of her now. I avoid saying anything specifically about her gaining weight, only that I love her body.

All this to say that there are guys who will love their partner’s bodies no matter what- sometimes even more with weight gain.

Netizens’ comments

1. My boyfriend tells me this and I still barely believe that he is lustful for a short woman with a pooch and thick thighs. But he’s always handsy and it makes me feel nice.
2. Ahhhh yes. Another man of culture.
   Don’t ever mention anything about the weight, just explain that you’re highly attracted to her. Say something clicked in your brain and now you simply want to rail her brains out every day.
   Should work.
3. It’s good that you’re attracted to her, it’s how marriage should be. Just don’t make it all about her weight. If she’s been gaining a lot of weight over the past few years, just make sure she’s taking care of herself.
   Sometimes due to our desire, we fail to recognize issues. It could be that the BC is the cause of weight gain, however it could also be depression. I doubt that’s the case, but don’t become complacent and fail to notice an issue and not be there for her.

My ex-boyfriend cheated on me to realize if he still “loved me”

…and he realized in fact he did. He didn’t tell me, I read his messages with her best friend, he was so ashamed telling her now he was feeling guilty. I was devastated, I couldn’t keep the relationship.

I don’t know if I should understand him or not, but is a fact I can’t trust him anymore. I think there are other ways to realize if you still love someone, but going and sleeping with another isn’t one of them.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think he’s manipulating you & that friend to cover his mess up. Walk away with your pride & a smile.
2. The only thing to understand is your ex is a moron. Sorry you had to go through that
3. Your boyfriend WANTED to sleep with her and is now feeding you some BS to make it seem like he did it for you. Sounds like a manipulative asshole to me.
4. NO one has to cheat to realize their feelings. Nomal people talk about it.
5. Suppose he really did love you and was concerned about his feelings towards you changing. In that case, he could have spoken to you about it, gone to therapy, asked to go on a vacation with you, asked for a break, etc… There are many ways he could have dealt with this in a respectful and loving manner while keeping you in the loop.
   He consciously chose to do one of the worst things you can do to a partner: cheat. He knew full well what it would do to you if you ever found out, and still went ahead with it. This is not “trying to find out if he still loved you”, this is him knowingly doing something that could cause you immense pain. In that moment, you were the least of his worry. He showed you who he is, now believe him.
   Pack up your shit and go! You certainly do not deserve this, nor does he deserve any more of your time and energy. This relationship is over.
6. well at least he found out he still loves you. he can take that with him into his future life.
7. That’s not love it’s panic. He wanted to cheat. He probably enjoyed it. And. Bow after the high of the event, the panic and regret sets in. Doesn’t have anything to do with love. Keep him in the ex category

[44M][46F] I just found out I have son and my wife is losing her sh!t

Seventeen years ago I had a fling with a woman, I didn’t know she got pregnant because I went overseas where I met my current wife.

I came back with my wife and our two kids, so news spread that I was back and I got to meet with old friends and catch up, all types of things anyways.

My son and daughter are both students. so my son calls me talking about this rumor of me being this kid’s dad and blah blah.

I’m thinking no way this is true and we had the DNA test done months ago with the woman’s (my fling from years ago) son because of the drama and yeap, he’s mine.

Me and the boy have been getting along good talking and hanging out. and my son and wife are pissed about this. They feel like I cheated or something, but it happened when I wasn’t with my wife yet.

Any advice I already feel bad enough that he didn’t have a father growing up and he won’t get a brother relationship with my son. I wish I knew about him before I left, so I wouldn’t have left in the first place.

Netizens’ comments

1. You need to make it 1000% clear to your kid that he is not being replaced. It’s important that you speak with him and listen to him.
2. I think it’s amazing you have quickly adjusted to being this young man’s dad so quick but you now have to give your wife and other kids time to adjust. Make sure you aren’t rushing relationships between them and definitely make sure to spend as much equal time with all kids and not just newly discovered.
   Like most have suggested, you all need therapy and for the love of God, never tell your wife or other kids that you wouldn’t have left your home town if you had known, it makes it sound like you regret them, that they are the consolation prize.
3. You can’t expect your family to just get over the shock of a new kid being in your life. They have to process that, or they may never come around. And, don’t dismiss their emotions and feelings towards this situation, because that would make you a massive a-hole.
   Are you spending equal time with your kids as you are this new son? Or, are you focused on the new one, because he’s new?

Me (F18) slept with an married man (M34) – Have I ruined a family?

I didn’t know that he was still married. He told me that he was single and he was impossible to stalk. He didn’t tell me anything about a family but he insisted for me to go to his place and not opposite which I didn’t completely understand why…

Until I saw that he has a kid. I asked him question and he said “yes, but we are divorced and it’s his turn to be at my house so we have to keep quiet”.

After all that… when he went to the toilet, I opened the closet… female clothes. I feel horrible. I did t know anything about that. I just wanted a one-night-stand.

I do know that the age gap was a red flag but I just ignored it. Who’s fault is it actually?

Netizens’ comments

1. You did nothing wrong except being young and easily fooled by a master manipulator. Just do yourself a favor and cut contact with him . And if at all possible let his wife know but I am going to bet you don’t even know his real last name
2. Yeah I’d say you didn’t really do anything wrong since you didn’t know. If anyone ruined a family, it’s him
3. If I were in your shoes, the first thing I would ask myself is why is a 34 year old man chasing me? Then, I would automatically assume that he is married or has kids. I don’t necessarily blame you for the situation but 75% + men his age are married/ divorced with kids. You were very gullible.
4. Well, you’re certainly ruining your life, that’s for sure. Not only because it’s a married man, but also due to the age gap and you’re only 18 (yes, by law you’re an adult, but that’s still very young).
5. his and stop sleeping with older men because it’s either they are secretly married or they are creeps. Tell his wife (slip a note in something she’d daily be checking but not easy enough and in plain sight so that he can see it) and be done with it. She deserves to know that her husband is being unfaithful with a kid in the home. And stop sleeping with him.
6. Im a 33 year old guy. I was gonna type some stuff out to help you understand how scary that age gap can be is… But man, it’s too long winded and im tired.
   Just know this. At 18, you might think youre smart. You are. You have the fastest mental processing you’ll ever have.
   However, you dont have enough life experiences. By your 30s. You’ve slowed down (slightly) but your skillset is much more extensive (usually) not just in things like how to apply make up or how to clean your room, but in managing stress, managing people, recognizing danger, etc…
   This means in your 30s, your capacity for BOTH good and evil is much higher.
   This person may or may not be dangerous to you, but do you really want to find out with somebody you have already realized is lying to BOTH you and probably his wife? The risks are just a lot higher.
   In terms of fault, why would it be your fault? You wanted to spend time with someone you were attracted to. You were working with information that was incomplete. But if you continue, this is no longer true…
   In terms of an age gap, it’ really up to you to decide what is good for you. But think long and hard about what an age gap means. Sleeping with a 35 year old at 18 is not the same as marrying one.

My wife is les and I feel guilty even thinking of divorce.

I have been with my wife since I was 20, and she was 22, so almost 10 years. We have an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Everything was going great.

In October 2020 she came out to me as a les while crying, but then backpeddled and said she was Bi. I had known she was atleast Bi, since when we started dating she said how she spoke to some girls on dating websites. She said she loved me and didn’t want anyone but me, but that she has regrets about not being with women.

I offered her a pass. Go have a female/female relationship with someone. See if that was what you wanted. If so and you wanted to continue that, fine. We could have an amicable divorce and move on. She never took me up on it, saying she did not want to. The point of it was I would rather you know now rather than later.

Today i found out that she has been telling her friends about it. She says she is gay, not bi. She says she loves me, but regrets that she won’t ever have a wife.

The last 2.5 years feel like a lie. I get before (not coming to grips with it). But now you’ve known. I gave you the option then. So this exact thing wouldn’t happen.

I’m the bread winner. Always have been. She a stay at home mom and a great mother. I feel guilty even thinking of the word divorce. She has no family (parents passed away). She has no income besides mine. Our house loan is in my name only (title is joint). Realistically, if we were to divorce she would have nothing. She has said that over the years.

FML

My friend lied about their ability to smell for YEARS

I have this friend, very close friend for the last like 5 years, who allegedly has no sense of smell. Like they can’t smell anything at all and has told me it even affects their ability to taste things.

I’ve known this since I met them around 5 years ago. I’ve accidentally tried to make them smell things like candles and food and such while we’re out at places and they’d be like “oh I’m sure it smells good, but I CANT SMELL ANYTHING REMEMBER” and we’d laugh and I’d feel bad.

It took a long time to get used to but after so many slip ups and reminders that they can’t smell, it was ingrained in my memory by the end of year one that they truly can’t smell anything.

Now just recently, they told me that ACTUALLY they’ve been able to smell this whole time! FOR ALL FIVE YEARS IVE KNOWN THEM THEY’VE BEEN ABLE TO SMELL.

I said ”bro why tf would you lie about something like that?? How do you keep up THAT BIG of a lie for years??”

And they said it all started back when they had a crush on this girl and they were in a candle store and she was trying to get them to smell the candles to help her pick one.

Well they were super congested and couldn’t smell anything at all but instead of telling her they were congested they joked that they couldn’t smell anything at all ever since they were born???

And it was one of those jokes that turned into seeing how long they could fool her into thinking they couldn’t smell anything and it became so long and elaborate that they told their friends the same thing so if she ever asked about it we’d all reaffirm that they can’t smell, making the joke last even longer.

So recently they felt guilty and was like ”eh, five years is long enough.. I should tell her the truth” and so they did.

And then they told the rest of us and it was like a bomb went off. We were all this horrible mixture of shocked, in awe, and laughing at the sheer craziness of it.

As for me? Im MAD man. Listen I’m not mad that they lied/joked about their sense of smell for five years that’s actually frickin impressive.

What I’m mad about is how many times I silently FARTED around this person thinking they couldn’t smell anything when really THEY COULD SMELL IT THE WHOLE TIME. FIVE YEARS OF FARTS AND THEY NEVER SAID A SINGLE WORD ABOUT IT.

Anyways I dunno if I can’t ever face them again after that revelation…