[32M][58M] Accidentally got into bed with my father in law

Extremely embarrassing! My father in law is staying with us and he has our bedroom while he’s here.

My wife and I were drinking and watching TV tonight and she went to bed earlier in our other room. I’d had a few, and accidentally went into our room where her dad was sleeping.

He had the covers on so I could only see an outline of a body.

I took off my clothes and got into bed. Rolling over, I spooned who I thought was my wife..he then turns around, switches on the bedside light and yells my name loudly.

I panic and leap out of bed, trying to put my boxers on as I trip over them and fall down. Ultimately I ended up crawling out of the room.

I’m now on the couch too embarrassed to go anywhere near the room. Yikes!

I 23M am considering leaving my 23F girlfriend for repeatedly clogging the toilet.

My (23M) girlfriend (23F) has this habit where she uses so much toilet paper every time she goes to the bathroom, regardless of it being a number 1 or number 2. Literally uses a roll or more a day. (Completely understand women use more TP than men. Not what my issue is)

My problem with this, is she uses so much that I end up having to unclog the toilet maybe 5 times a week. When it first happened, it was a bit funny, we joked about it but god damn I’m taking a plunger to that toilet almost every day now.

I’ve spoken to her on numerous occasions and she just says “oh, well I need to make sure it’s clean before I stop wiping”. I suggested she either flushes halfway through wiping, or unclogs it herself. But as we share one toilet, as soon as she leaves and I need to do my business I’m left with no choice but to do it.

Today the toilet is officially broken and I’ve had to call a plumber. I’m fed up with it.

I just don’t know what to do. I’ve told her so many times to not use so much toilet paper but to no avail.

Is this a stupid reason to leave someone, if she can’t change?

My fiancé (28m) told me(24f)I was ugly during an argument and fat.

We had an argument around Halloween and he said “Yeah well.. You’re ugly and fat af. You let yourself go”

We’ve been together for four years already and engaged for 2 years ( I wanted to get married after I got my degree).

He apologized for it and I haven’t slept with him since. I’ve lost weight since then and now I’m back to my original weight when we first started dating ) My heart is broken still and I do love how I look now but I just can’t seem to get over his comment. Like it’s true that words hurt especially when it’s from someone you love..

I don’t love him like I used to and I hate him actually. I still make his lunches, cook for us, do laundry and clean like if nothing happened. I haven’t even kissed him in weeeeks.. I hate his touch and back away whenever he wants to cuddle.

He swears he just said it out of anger back then but tbh I feel like he really meant it. I can’t quit thinking of it and I think I’m going to move back to my parents house soon.. I just feel sad cause I really thought he was the one. I feel like this isn’t such a big deal for others but as a former fat kid it is.

Even when I was slim I had body issues like I always felt like I was the fat. Maybe I’m the one who needs help but I can’t keep living with him anymore.. I know I’m not the prettiest but I think I’m pretty okay when I get dolled up lol

this is our biggest fight in our 4 years. We truly never fight and we’d enjoy each others company -I am sensitive and I’ve always held grudges -i called his aunt a b word before he called me that but never called her fat or ugly -he’s begged on his knees for forgiveness the next day after our fight

Thank you for all the comments. I’ve decided to move out this weekend while he’s working. I’m packing up most of my stuff tonight and I’m going to look into getting help for my own issues too.

Would you look down or judge your girlfriend if she lives in a rental flat?

Context: started dating someone, he treated me well but I fear that he will look down / make less effort on dating me if he sees my living condition once I bought him home.

Edit: just to clarify, rental flat and renting a flat are two different matters.

he made so much effort to pursue me and ends up I’m living in a rental flat , will he think he don’t need to make effort anymore?

Netizens’ comments

• If he truly loves you, where you live won’t matter.
• Frankly, I think it’d be a great idea to bring him home, i.e let him see what’s your background and see his reactions.
  If he truly wants to be with you, he wouldn’t mind (your background) but instead, make his best efforts to take you out of it.
  This is indeed a fantastic, though unplanned or intended opportunity to “test” his sincerity about being with you and the result will let you make up your mind about the relationship – Either way, sooner the better.
• wont look down on my gf if she lives in a rental flat, but i would be disappointed if she lies about it (eg trying to act richer than she is)
• For context, I’m a guy and I wouldn’t look down or judge a girlfriend for this. I don’t think any of my friends will either. It isn’t a consideration in finding a partner.
  No worries OP, don’t let such things bother you. Anyway, on the off chance it does, it’s better to find it out now. Shallow people make terrible partners anyway.
• Wtf. A flat is still a flat. If he judges you for low ses or labels you poor/broke. You do not want to be with someone like that in th first place even though if he is a 10. It’s not your responsibility to change people.

Hey friends,

Not sure if you can relate, but I’m feeling the dating fatigue lately.

So I was discussing this with a few friends actually and they all had some differing opinions but figured out this community can probably give me a more unbiased and diversified answer. I’m over that 30 yo benchmark as a guy and to be honest I’m really feeling that crisis now. I’m single, went through 2 breakups while I was younger, last relationship ended about 2 years ago. I had to undergo quite a bit of family issues the last 2 years and they’re finally somewhat resolved and settled.

Started dating again and found myself getting weary. My main mode of finding people is through online dating apps like Hinge/CMB/OKC/Tinder. But my experience so far has been so suboptimal compared to when I first matched with my ex many years ago. It feels almost dead in a sense – I’d get maybe one or two replies and the conversation does not really continue past that. Online dating works for me due to the hours I work every week (about 60-80 hours).

At first I thought it was just me not being good enough you know, or not having my shit together, so I worked on myself – so I literally started working out, I think I look decently fit, I’ve worn better clothes/am cleanly groomed/etc, I read a ton of books, started getting ahead in my career, went for improv classes, joined some classes to learn stuff and socialise more… Last date I had I thought I had a really good connection with. Then it ultimately came to the “I’m not good enough for you, I have some stuff to work through” variant where I’m ultimately friend-zoned.

Tbh I think I set reasonable standards on dating – I don’t expect much of it, I let the date go as it should, I have reasonably good conversations without awkward moments with deep connection, I often hit 2-3 dates before it falls apart. My dates would tell me that they genuinely enjoyed themselves and we’d always make it to the next date. Then I thought to myself, maybe I’m too nice? But I don’t think I should compromise on my own principles of just being generally kind to everyone. I don’t think I’m a people-pleaser either, neither am I trying to get something back in exchange for being nice. It’s just that I’ve been getting this “you’re too nice and I’m not feeling the vibes” thing too much and realise that it’s becoming a problem. The thing is, I do stand my ground, I have solid boundaries of what I like vs dislike, I have principles, I know what I don’t accept in my life, etc – I don’t get it about the whole nice guy thing because I’m not that “agreeable”?? Or is the standard of nice just too low

Some dates I’ve spoken to also seem to be believe in “The One”. I kinda believe in a half – and that the rest is about building the relationship itself. My last date told me she had 5 other people she was seeing, and tbh I don’t think it’s a surprise given I’ve seen some of my female friends and sister have close to a 100 matches and 10 convos going on simultaneously. But yeah the competition is real.

And of course there’s also that whole issue about finances – while I understand I can bring a lady out to a kopitiam (I brought an ex to a kopitiam), I’ve found most other dates to really be more comfortable over a coffee in a not-so-ex cafe. But the costs do add up with the brunches and stuff. Stick that over 10+ dates within 1-2 months and it gets pretty weary and costly. My last date brought that up and tried to pay for everything but I still felt that I had to at least pay for the meal or at minimum go Dutch. I also think that I’m the kind that tends to fall pretty quickly (though I control it a lot), so this dating business isn’t very good for my heart, I think I’m just headed in a bad direction for becoming jaded.

I think I have a few questions, some of which I’ve discussed with friends. Some friends have had similar experiences also and are basically in a jaded FA mode. I’m really curious to hear what you more-experienced guys and ladies think:

1. What do you think of the dating scene in Singapore? Is it more difficult for average guys to find a connection? Is it really just a numbers game?
2. What am I not seeing about this whole “you’re too nice” or “I’m not good enough” dynamic that I’m not seeing and totally missing? What can I do?
3. What is your stance on deal-breakers – how many should you have? Deal-breakers meaning things that you really cannot stand for.
4. What do you think about dating multiple people at once? Does it turn people off?
5. Anything else you want to know, or ask, or share your woes about :’)

Cheers

I’m a 32 years old working class adult.

I’ve been dating since my early 20s, and I’ve noticed that the age of the girls I like gets younger as I get older.

I’m definitely not a creepy older guy trying to prey on young women, but I can’t deny that my preference for younger women has become more and more pronounced as I age.

At first, I thought it was a one off incident.. I was probably just attracted to the energy and enthusiasm that younger women tend to have.

I was interested in dating someone who could keep up with me and not be weighed down by the baggage of life.

But as I got older, I started to realize that my preference for younger women was more than that.

I think the main reason why I’m attracted to younger women is because I feel like I can relate to them better.

When you’re in your 20s, you’re still trying to figure out who you are and what your purpose is in life. I can relate to that, because I’m still trying to figure out the same things.

I feel like I can understand younger women better, and I can provide them with the kind of advice and guidance that they need.

Another reason why I’m attracted to younger women is because they tend to be more confident and less judgmental.

I’m a guy who likes to experiment and try new things, and I appreciate the fact that younger women are usually more open-minded and willing to go along with my ideas.

They’re also more likely to take chances and try new things, which is something that I find very attractive.

Finally, I’m attracted to younger women because they tend to be more physically attractive. There’s no denying that younger women have more youthful, energetic looks that can be incredibly appealing.

I also find that younger women have a certain confidence and energy that I find attractive.

At the end of the day, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m attracted to younger women.

I’m definitely not a ‘chi ko pek’, but there’s just something about them as compared to women nearer to my age that attracts me.

Sometime back in September / October i lent about 6~7k to a coworker but he quit the company The reason he used to borrow money was that his family was in a precarious situation and really needs the money ^ said that the brother borrowed from loan sharks and they came up to harrass him so he urgently needed the money to cover for his brother or else his mother would have a heart attack

ngl i do feel like i was a complete dumbass and a bit too generous with my money but what is done is already done is there anything i can do to get my money back? he isn’t really replying or anything and uhm idt it’s legal to go knock on someone’s door and ask for the payment

for more information : he did promise that he would pay me back as soon as possible and even set the date of repayment to be the 7th of every month but we’re now nearing the date but he’s leaving me on a single tick i do suspect that he’s lying + ran away with the money

^ is it illegal to loan money to someone in Singapore? i seriously didn’t know tbh 🙁 he sounded so desperate and really needed help but ngl I’m really tight on cash rn so if he doesn’t pay me back I’m kinda in deep trouble…also i didnt charge any additional sum or interest

Had a crush on an SIA Cabin Crew

Is it normal to get crushes on handsome or beautiful SIA Cabin Crew?

I had one and it was quite bad. I cannot get him out of my mind. I don’t even know his name and I am pretty sure he’s not straight, but I am.

The SIA Steward always look very good in their suits and the Kebaya is really graceful. I think it is difficult not to be attracted to them.

The steward that made me a little dizzy was tall and I like his voice. He caught my eyes when he pull the curtain shut on me after he made eye-contact with me. He was seriously my type and has a handsome round face.

Oh well, too bad I will not get to meet him again. If he ever reads this, dear SIA Steward returning to Singapore on a late night Christmas flight, thank you for making my heart race so badly when you brushed up against me.

If we are meant to be, perhaps we may meet once more.

Here are what netizens think:

• Buy yourself a steward uniform and look at the mirror everyday until you get bored…

• If he is not straight, why would he want you?

• Wait till you know the real person when they are not in uniform

• You should indicate the flight number, time and flight from to narrow down your search

• Why does this sound like someone older than 45 years old…

• Lol… Author is either a cool girl or cougar. Either case, ought to go see a shrink ASAP.

My father cares only about money and it’s affecting relationships

I don’t understand why my father cares only about money.

Both my brother and I give allowance to our parents and we take care of all bills and insurance. I can quite confidently say that my parents just need to spend on their food and whatever entertainment they want.

We initially wanted to give both parents $450 each but my father says he has savings and CPF, this that so he will just take $200 instead and my mum should get $450. Ok, fine. but we still gave him $300 and mum $450. It’s automatically giro to their bank accounts so we don’t need to go through all the trouble.

My mum is those kind who never check and sometimes wonder why she got extra cash and then suddenly remember it’s payday. while my dad keeps all receipts and try tallying every month.

Recently, mum have been spending more because she joins her friends in holiday tours (one for countdown and one for the coming CNY) the tours are not expensive but my father starts complaining and hinting us that maybe the money division should be swapped. He kept saying he can handle money better.

Both brother and I doesn’t agree with father. Coz my father is kind of a miser who doesn’t want to spend on things/holidays (unless it’s a family trip) but we honestly don’t like to go on tour with him. he doesn’t know or want to enjoy himself but punch on his calculator all the time. When we go with him, we always need to convince him why we wanted to try a famous restaurant or buy a certain souvenir. He is also always about “worth the (ticket) money” so he rather pack a day full (from 7am-9pm kind) even if he himself is really tired. And it gets quite sian to be honest.

For us, We think since we do have some ability to let our parents enjoy themselves, why not? We did mention to father that we can spilt the allowance equally ($400 each) or if he needs more, we can try to work things out. But he seems more interested in preventing my mum for getting and spending her allowance which we obviously is not going agree with.

My mum have been a housewife almost all her life since she is 20. She had my brother when she is 22 and doesn’t get to enjoy her youth. And my father is such a miser, she doesn’t get to spend without his consent. We don’t get to go to zoos or any place which requires tickets. It’s till we’re older that he started being more generous and it’s just a trip to Malaysia once a year. mum got a part time job when we’re in our teens, the money goes into their joint account as requested by my father. She does have the card of the joint account but every spending will be scrutinized by my father. It’s only until now she gets more financial freedom to enjoy herself.

We did talk to our father and tried encouraging him to pickup hobbies/go on tours or join classes/interest groups too but he just doesn’t want. His only hobby is some RC karaoke once a week and it will probably stop because the price is going to raise by $2.

Recently my parents starts to quarrel over money a lot more. father will use “no earning power” to “guilt trip” mum and it hurts her because she feels like he is not appreciative of all the efforts and contributions she did for the family. But my father likes to use money as a judge and will comment about his friends children earning more than us, driving bigger cars etc. But what’s the point? It’s not like we’re going to sleep on the streets or go hungry.

Can’t he just learn to enjoy the remaining of his life or at least let others enjoy theirs?

My married ex-boyfriend’s wife is still stalking me

I am a divorcee with 2 young girls and got involved with a married man somewhere in Aug 2016, not knowing he was married then.

We went for holidays and he even stayed at my apartment almost everyday thus I never suspect he was married. We acted like married couple and my girls doted on him. A year plus into the relationship, he suddenly ghosted on me with a reason that he needed to think about our relationship.

Months passed by and no news from him. Then I found out he was in a relationship with another girl through his IG posting. I was broken indefinitely, and began to dig further. It was only then that I found out he was actually married and still going around acting single. This new girl was his new fling. I ended everything and walked away, even ignoring his apology texts a few months later.

2 years had passed, when suddenly a girl texted me and claimed that she was his wife. They have been married since 2011 and currently going through divorce due to his infidelity and wanted me to stand in for her in court to testify. I explained to her about finding out his status only at the break up stage. I even took the initiative apologize to her. But that didn’t stop her from trying to stalk me after i rejected her request.

It’s been months, I received friend request from every social media platform i have. Tiktok, IG, FB, Twitter. I didnt accept and ignored her. She viewed all my IG stories (mine is not private). She texted me asking me to delete whatever postings I have when I was with her husband for example, a photo of my kids during our Krabi trip. He was not in the photo but she knows he was with us. A photo of a cute couple shirt we had, and again he was not in the photo. She requested that i removed all the hashtags involving me and him which i used during our courtship. She asked me to dispose off those shirt and telling me to delete whatever memories i have of him.

I am a person who cherish memories and i dont remove pictures just because someone doesnt like it. So it is getting ridiculous and annoying. I have told her to stop stalking me as i am now seeing another person but she still does that.

What should I do?