RS Advice & Rant

Erm just needed somewhere to talk about how I’m feeling.

So I broke up 9mnth ago and I’ve met my current bf 4 mnth after I’ve broke up. Everything’s going well but I’m slowly thinking again.

I couldn’t stop comparing my ex and my current bf. Things like this makes me compare them:

1) I’m at my bf place, we both fell asleep until it’s about time to go back, I’ll wake him up and he’ll send me back home. He always woke up angry and kept saying he’s tired this that blah blah blah. I’ve tried to not go over to this place to avoid this kind of situation but then he’ll say we dont really have time for each other and this is the only time. He make time for me but I keep finding excuses to not meet him, even if not to his place when I ask him to go out riding all he’ll tell me very far, lazy, he’s tired then if not tell me dunno where to go.

As for my ex, he always have a plan. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll just keep it a surprise. Even tho we always end up at places where we do nothin just chit chat. Everytime I’m at his place, when it’s time to go home he’ll immediately get up and send me back, even tho he stay in the west I stay in the east. No complaints all. Nothing.

2) That day, I was sharing with my bf and we eventually talked about our future. Like if I were to get married to him, having a child all. Ofc we eventually came to a disagreement. He immediately shut me off by saying, him alone working is not enf to support the family. I was disappointed. I kept quiet ofc as me myself is quite an independent person, I always wanted to work even if I were to have a child. I don’t believe in him alone working will be enf for everything. And I won’t have to BEG for money.

But as for my ex, he’s more of like 心疼我. He’ll tell me in future I don’t have to work, he’ll wants me to accompany our baby until she’s way older. He told me that he don’t want me to work then go home still need to take care of her. He don’t want me to be so tired.

3) As for me personally I really loves to ask alot qns. One day me and my bf were going somewhere then we were going to this highway (I forgot where) then I saw a gantry beside it. I asked him, why is there a gantry. That’s mean they’ll close the highway? My bf shouted at me, I was shocked. Immediately I thought I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve disturb him. Often, most of the time. No everytime. We go out, he’ll be listening to music. Even tho it’s just a short distance like 5min.

But as for my ex, we often talk alot alot during the whole ride. I’ll ask him this that all, he’ll reply me gently. Then we’ll both laugh. The whole journey wasn’t boring at all, I’ve enjoyed myself during the whole ride. That’s probably the best ride that I’ve ever had. And that’s maybe one of the reason I wanna get a bike. One day I could ride beside him but sadly dreams doesn’t come true.

4) I’ve got nothing to talk to with my bf. I wanna share my work things with him but on a second thoughts I just kept silence. Cause everytime I share something he’ll be doing something, focus wasn’t on me. If not will be him complaining about things halfway when I’m still talking. Or when I’m in alot of stress that time when I had a feeling that I’m going to be fired from my work. I shared with him and what he kept repeating was why you kept want to resign, it provides you studies all. In Singapore you can’t just survive with whatever u have now. He called me and kind of like nagged and repeat everything he send me thru text. I told him “it’s not about whether I want resign or not. It’s about boss wants me not.” And I ended the call.

My ex. Wow, we could talk from 11pm atw to 8am. He’ll bring me to places, we just talk the whole night. We just had alot alot of things to share. When he talk, I listen. When I talk he listen. We gave our attention to each other.

Well, there’s alot more. But I can’t be listing everything here if not gonna be damn long.

Tbh I’m seriously thinking is my bf now a rebound or is it cause I haven’t completely move on. Isn’t that the same haha. But I really want to settle down, I’m lazy to meet new people whoever. Sometimes I’m wondering, if not just suck it up. Who knows maybe in future I’ll end up loving my bf alot more? And we’ll be happy?

Well, afterall my ex is someone I really loves alot. i also dunno whether I’ll love my bf as much as I love my ex not. But I guess I’ve lose my ex for good.

To my ex. If you’re reading and happened to know that it’s me, great! You know how good you are as a bf last time. I’m taking good care of her, don’t worry. And also don’t disappoint her. Last long! Hope you’re happier

Hi admins, I am not sure who to report this to anymore- please let my story go through. I need help getting a story out.

I came across this pet shop at Yishun Central and was shocked to see the conditions of the rabbits.

3 rabbits were kept in a small enclosure with barely any space to move. This might lead to breeding or aggression issues where the rabbits might fight each other. On one of the signs it was stated that the owner DID NOT KNOW if the rabbits were male or female which made it alot worse as this might lead to unintentional illegal breeding. I’ve approached the owner to ask the gender of one of the rabbits and he said he THINKS it’s female, which means he is not sure (lol?).

After I posted this on instagram, a follower said a few months back she walked past this same shop and saw some rabbits that were probably over 4-5 mths of age. They had multiple sore bald spots on their body due to space constraint and aggression.

So far from what I observed, there wasn’t any hay from 12noon till 4pm (hay should be given in unlimited amounts for rabbits to prevent dental issues in future).

The conditions of this is made known to SPCA and AVS, but it seems like nothing is being done. AVS’ reply is simply that they “found the the animals to be active and alert, with sufficient space to lie down, stretch and exercise”, which is really not the case.

For those living near the area, I urge you to check it out yourselves – be careful though, owner appears defensive and has not allowed viewing of the rabbits unless you are there to buy – the first thing the owner will ask is “see or buy rabbits?”. If you say “see”, he will chase you away.

Full disclosure: I am not a supporter of pet stores in general, but this is a whole other level.

Life already challenging, let’s not make any drama

My bf (40M) and I (36F) are in relationship for 5 months. We have meet each other family, and we are planning to married in near future (we are old already lol).

When we got together, we agree that he will slowly showing me in his socmed. We are not teenager anymore and we know that socmed is not on our priority list. So, basically we were focusing on our relationship, family and work.

But, when he reveal that he is in relationship, dramas start happening. He is empathetic and good at communication. Due to nature to his work, he listen, counsel and helpful.

The latest drama is his ex (A). Seven years ago, they were in relationship for 4 months. Then within this 7 years, he has been in relationship and broke up, twice. There was a time when he tried to reapproach A but not to avail. So basically A has 5+ years to mend the relationship and ignite the spark.

Somehow, A message my bf this month, sharing heartfelt problem that she has, her self proclaimed depression and her lifelong regret. She said she wanted another chance, she regret on what was happened. She said she believe in karma.

She went to mrt station that close to my bf home and wait him there. She send messages daily and then she deleted it.

But, she continue messaging. Her last few attempts:

– Share her diary screen shot to my bf (she wrote her diary, cause my bf didn’t react on story that she depressed).

– She send bunch of messages, then deleted it. Then send another one.

– She unfriend my bf and said that she can’t tahan to see him looks happy. But she still follow him on other socmed.

– After 2 weeks of no reaction from my bf. She send him snippet of movie reels about past regret and the actor said if a guy show you these traits, he is the right one for you.

I brought up this to my bf and he said that A is good person, unlike my ex.

Whilst, she isn’t as naive as what my bf said. She suppose to be mature and wise (already 30+++), but she is scheming and doesn’t have self respect.

In fairness, my bf only become listener. He responded to her message as a neutral listener. He even didn’t offer meet up nor he call her.

My bf keep telling me to focus on us, focus on him. He wasn’t even response to her. And it is true.

I am usually quite chill and easy going. I understand that I can’t control people’s action, and by reacting at her I can jeopardize my own relationship.

I just need to rant and maybe an encouragement that I make good decision by not reacting at all.

Tired & lonely from secretly narcissistic husband

I have been depressed. I had given up in confiding or telling somebody, because people would hardly believe me as he has created such a facade of Mr-perfect-husband to the outside world.

He is charismatic & humorous, just about how he managed to fool me for a very very long time. Behind closed doors, he has anger issues, he would always act like he’s the victim whenever I raised my concerns of the relationship or wanted to break up with him.

He would always roti prata, turn the table around, making it my fault for making him angry for voicing my concerns at the wrong times. But eventually, no time is a good time always, he would always have various kinds of excuses at various phases.

At worst, he would threaten to self abuse or kill himself if I were to leave him. Young & naive, i genuinely feared for his safety & at times felt guilty about his self harm that ultimately i stayed on & on, compromised my own boundaries, tried to make him happy & tried to make this relationship work…

…until eventually i found out about his endless cheatings throughout our whole relationship. My world views were shook to a whole new level. To put it into perspective, he had even the audacity to visit hookers while we were on a vacation together, just because we quarrelled & got separated from each other for half a day. And the “justification”? “I made him do it cuz I made him so angry, he even scolded me upside down for leaving his side & saying that this is the consequences I have to bear for leaving him alone. Twisted max? I am held responsible for his basic humane integrity? As disgusting as it already is, turns out, in the past, whenever we had cold wars, (or even when we dont for a matter of fact) he totally used the time to repeatedly cheat with hookers – it is nothing new to him. I am being isolated in my groundbreaking revelations. I feared for my health as it’s clear he doesnt give a fk how his actions might impact others.

All this disgusts me on a daily & nightly basis. We had multiple showdowns which were nothing but disastrous & that which cannot be gone through again – I am trying to stay afloat for my 3YO. My heart aches upon the thought that he/she will not have a complete family if I could not continue to hang on tight. I know many will say kids rather have separated & happy parents rather than be around forced & unhappy parents. In harsh reality, I will be the condemned one as nobody would even come close to understand what a monster I am living with behind closed doors. They will think im making a fuss since Im always more real in expressing my true emotions (which they wont ever understand where im coming from) while he is heavily concealed Mr Nice & Smart.

I have heard many estranged couples are continuing staying together for their children’s sake but living in separated lives/room. I would like to hear some views on how such arrangements panned out eventually.. is it really workable in the long run? As you can guess, he is a good actor for his facade, I can do my part in the acting too. It is depressing…… but breaking up a family is easier said than done.

I (F27) was with my boyfriend (M27) for about 4 years and before that we were friends since primary school, and I loved him to death for sticking with me through my studies, when my mother died, when I struggled to find a job and practically lived off him.

But even the strongest love stories eventually dissipate away, if not completely then little by little. I eventually fell out of love with him even though I am forever grateful for what he’s done for me and what we have been through.

Because I can no longer find the same level of intimacy and romance, I started turning to male escorts and the differences were staggering.

I hooked up with this Viet male escort whom I hired for $300, and we slept together every week until I realised that I was developing feelings for him.

After one of our sessions, I asked him out on a date. He accepted it and we were secretly seeing each other until my breakup with my boyfriend, when we eventually became public.

I didn’t mind that he was an escort who slept with women of all shapes, sizes and ages for money, because that was how we met.

And he is also earning so much more than me, about $10k per month, whereas I’m just earning about $3k in my current job.

I know this is wrong and I feel like I have wronged my boyfriend, but love is blind and irrational.