I (28 F) had been dating a guy exclusively (29 M) for two months. He said he loved me in a month. He had a great sense of humour and we come from the same city. We clicked on the first date and had a great connection. He was very loving, caring and romantic that it felt like I was living my dream. He had told about me to his mom, sister and friends which is kind of a big deal in India. I have not met his friends or family yet because I was not ready at that time.

He had never been in a long term relationship before so had few friends who were girls for emotional support. I didn’t see that as a warning sign at first because I have my own set of guy best friends, but last week his girl best friend (30 F) came by surprise from another city to meet him for their Friendversary. I found it really odd that she came by surprise that too on a weekend and planned to stay for four days overnight at his house, knowing that he might have plans with me. She asked him to cancel all the plans and spend time with her. Its not new that his friends stayed at his house, but I found this particular scenario very odd. I was upset that he cancelled my plans. I told him that I was not comfortable with her staying there which he didn’t understand. He thought that I was being unreasonable. I asked him if we can atleast meet for lunch and I want to meet her to talk but he was so scared to disappoint his best friend and he said she didn’t want to meet me.

I lost my cool on Sunday and asked him to meet me or else I will leave the relationship. He met me and I asked him straight if something was going on between the two. He got really upset and said it’s just platonic. I talked about boundaries and told him that I am not comfortable with his female friends staying at his house overnight unless it’s an emergency. He accepted after much deliberation that he will not allow night stays.

We spent the night together and kissed for the first time. That is when all hell broke loose. He uttered her name when he kissed me. I got very upset and asked again if something is going on. He said it’s just platonic and he felt really guilty for leaving her alone and being with me because she wanted to spend time with him so she was in his mind. I felt betrayed because he didn’t know how to prioritise our relationship. He was feeling so much guilt for leaving her alone at his house that I kind of thought that maybe he has feelings for her and that we are not compatible. I conveyed how I felt when he uttered the wrong name. But he was unable to process it. He said he will distance himself from her which I felt was a good decision. They used to talk everyday for hours before I came into his life . It was like he was emotionally involved with her and I was competing for his attention. I was willing to give him a chance.

The next day he told her to stay in another friend’s house saying what happened between us the night before. She got very upset that he didn’t spend Sunday with her and told him that I am overreacting and controlling him and that I didn’t trust their friendship which was for almost 4 yrs. He got guilty again and cried to me that she left after a big fight. I consoled him but couldn’t find a reason why this affected him so much. I felt that if she was a true friend she should have given us the space to resolve our conflicts. She guilt tripped him and called his mom and sister telling them that he is behaving this way. They didn’t know the full story so they supported her. I told his sister about the incident and she supported me after that. The very next morning the girl best friend sent him a text message asking him to meet her at the airport which she showed me. I got so pissed that I told him to go if he wants. He said he won’t and blocked her telling her that he can’t talk to her anymore because I was upset. I was really happy that he understood my feelings.

The afternoon he called me crying and told me that she had sent him an email about their friendship and how he insulted it by doing all these things and setting boundaries. He said he felt really guilty and kept on asking me if he can talk to her again. I was devastated. I told him he can do whatever he wants , it’s his choice. He got a panic attack and I got scared. I wanted to make sure he was ok. So I told him to go for therapy and gave him my therapist number. He went for therapy but still couldn’t get rid of his guilt.

He wanted to meet me the next day. I knew something was not ok. He said he can’t stay away from her because she has been a big part of his life. So if I am not ok with him talking to her and sharing things he said we will break up. I was heartbroken. I rethought the entire thing and after a day I said I am ok with her meeting occasionally but not talking everyday. I wanted him to be emotionally intimate only with me which I feel is not unreasonable. I also offered to talk to her to see if we can get along. She came on video call and we had a small talk which was awkward. I was talking normally but she didn’t talk much. He said he needed a break to think about the entire episode. I agreed.

The very next day he met with me and broke up saying that he is choosing the friendship over our relationship because he doesn’t feel anything for me and that the relationship will not work anymore. I was not able to understand why he changed his mind so quickly. Last week we were in love and the next week he broke up. I am unable to process this. Was I unreasonable to ask some space for our relationship and expect him to prioritise me? My gut instincts said that she was i

I have spoken to some of my colleagues (late twenties) recently. They are hoping their other half earns enough to own a car so that they don’t have to take public transport (one of them mentioned that she’s tired of taking public transport and prefers to find someone who can own a car).

Another girl travels to Malaysia weekly to visit her parents and rants about the customs queue so if her other half also owns a car it’s much more convenient.

So I am curious if owning a car has improved your quality of life significantly (assuming you don’t drive for work) and has that also brought u more dates?

Netizens’ comments

1. I can own a car but then I hope they don’t mind that I can only afford a 3rm flat because of the car.
2. With the current COE price? That’s crazy talk. Why would I buy a car just for myself? I got my car only when my kids are on the way.
   These ladies are not looking for husbands. They are looking at their wallets.
3. I’m genuinely curious, how much salary is enough to justify buying a car.
   I’m in my late 20s, my salary is decent. The pros of having a car provides you convenience and a portable storage box(important if you like outdoor activities.)
   However, with the outrageous COE, petrol, parking, road tax, maintenance cost. I don’t feel financially comfortable getting a car, it’s just not worth it. (~1.5k/month).
4. I’ll only consider for a car when there is a necessity. E.g. Elderly family members, kids, or business functions etc.
   Having a car will definitely get you more dates, but IMO, I rather go on dates with someone that is more practical then superficial.
5. I’m 27, bf is 28, he’s getting his driver’s license but doesn’t mean I would ever demand him to buy a car. Choice is all his if he can afford it and wants to drive. Otherwise I’m happy we can save the car money for other important things.

My parents want me to go university, however, I already got plans to just find a job after poly. What should I do?

Ever since young, I realise I am more of the creative type of person. It is something I have been good at and passionate about, unlike science/maths. Now, I’m a year 3 polytechnic student awaiting graduation trying to land in a junior role of a specific design field with my diploma (which is somewhat relevant to the field) and portfolio (which contains my design works related to the field).

My parents, however, think I should get a degree first. I think they would rather me do a Graphic Design degree first since Graphic Design is more broad and I can explore other different types of design with the degree instead of just jumping straight into the specific design field which I am more interested in at the moment and actually have a plan for.

I actually did consider a Graphic Design / Communication Design degree from LASALLE and NAFA before but I fear that I might struggle in school again. I prefer working with people and gaining more knowledge / experience in the industry than mugging for tests / exams. Even if the degree course is project-based, it still feels really different than working in a team to submit a project to a real working client, you know?

With the stuff related to the specific design field I want, I don’t think it’s enough to showcase my interest in Graphic Design…because Graphic Design is more than just this specific design…which means I need to showcase other design work related to Graphic Design for the LASALLE/NAFA admission interviews.

Honestly, I’m just a train wreck right now…I don’t know if I should continue with my plans of landing a job in this specific design field or get a degree.

TLDR: I’m currently a final year poly student. I have been working on personal projects so that I can land a junior role in a specific design field I want. This role does not require a degree. Despite this, my parents think I should open up my choices and apply for at least a Graphic Design degree (which is a broader / bigger field of design) instead so that I learn more types of design instead of just one specific type of design. What should I do?

I, 32 F work at a doctors office- a family practice to be specific.

For privacy reasons, I will be changing the name of those involved.

To give a little context to help better understand, a father and his daughters are the physicians and his wife/her mom is the manager. We’re going to call the dad, Dr. A, the daughter Dr.E and the mother/wife Karen

I (17M) still live with my EXTREMELY homophobic mother (47F).

I recently bought some press-on nails that I was going to wear for a party, we were supposed to dress as weird and goofy as possible. I’m not actually into guys.

After dropping my phone yesterday, I needed a backup until I get my new phone.

Luckily my gf, had recently gotten a new phone, so I was able to just switch sims and have a working phone for the time being.

However, when I turned the phone on, it was still logged into her applied account and all her stuff, texts, email, photos, apps, etc. were still on the phone. I didn’t think anything of it and just started replying to the messages that I missed during the day.

As I was doing that, I noticed a message from “New York Trip” right below my messages. Again, I didn’t put much thought into that because my GF had told me sometime around January and February that she may be going to New York for a work trip at the end of May.

So I didn’t click on it. I had no reason to because, throughout our 7-year relationship, she had been completely loyal, and honest and never gave me a reason to think she might be doing something shady. I, on the other hand, had cheated on her once during the 2nd year of us dating.

I knew I had fvcked up, and I was prepared to do anything to get her back. Luckily for me, her grandfather(rest his soul) saw something good in me and told her to give me a second chance, and she did.

Needless to say I was and am still so thankful for that second chance. Fast forward a few years and now we’re here, me still paying for my mistake(as I should), and me never ever thinking she would stray.

The way I found out, is that later on, something updated i guess? The New York Trip name was updated to Cameron. Now I was curious and kind of confused. We don’t have a Cameron in any of our friend groups or in any of our work groups. So I clicked on it….I wish I hadn’t.

What I saw were texts between her and this “Cameron” that were those of like two people who had just started dating. Lewd texts, thrown in with convos about work, and coworkers, and I miss you and whatnot. I was floored.

There were messages about meeting up, going to lunches together, dinners, even meeting up at hotels. But I was still so confused because she doesn’t work with a Cameron but the messages were like oh my god you were so beautiful today, or something along the lines of having seen each other regularly throughout the day.

Then that’s when I saw it. A reference to her co-workers as meatballs. A nickname that my GF had specifically told me her boss made up and gave to her co-workers. Then i went digging. I looked into her group messages with her co-workers and sure enough, there was Cameron. So I looked through the texts and when her coworker said: “Christian, you should come out with all of us!” “Cameron” was the one that replied.

So now, I’m thinking that her week-long NY “work trip” wasn’t even a work trip, and just a trip for them to take together

Edit: Another useless but relevant fact: he is married.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, and maybe this is why she’s been promoted and moving up in this company so quickly. And maybe it’s just for accelerating her career, and she still loves me, like I do her….but…I just don’t know how to handle this.

Do I just accept that things are over? Do I talk to her and see where she stands? And if she does want to stay together, do I go for that and give her a second chance as she gave me? There are just so many variables because I know all cheating is bad but….I feel like hers is a lot worse.

Not to give myself face or anything, but I was completely blacked out when I cheated, and the only reason I knew what happened, was because she(my ex) told me the next day. This though… is like a calculated thing that has been happening for at the very least, 4 months.

I’m sorry for this long drawn out post….I feel like I just needed to write this somewhere….thanks.

So I’ve known this girl in Ho Chi Minh City. I even went to Vietnam and travelled the country with her and now marriage has come up.

So we got married and eventually, I had to help her apply for a Long-term visitor pass to let her stay in Singapore.

But here is the problem, she is telling me that she works in Singapore but she has next to zero qualifications and she has a language barrier.

So I paid for her to go for some English courses but she failed terribly and gave up.

When I married her I already told her that I am not rich and will have trouble feeding her if she decides to be a housewife.

But here comes the bigger problem, I can spend less and make sure I can give her the essentials like food, home and a phone but she wanted more.

Just 3 months into the marriage, she said she wanted to go back to Vietnam to find work to feed her family.

Of course, I did not want that to happen and I took up a 2nd part-time job as a Grab driver to basically to earn more and let her feed her whole kampong in Vietnam.

However, after a few months. This is getting very tiring. Day time I work office, evening time I work Grab, and other Grab drivers will agree that one bad Grab customer can really spoil the whole day. I am even driving Grab on weekends.

She is still not having any intention to upgrade herself and wants me to feed her and her whole damn kampong while she is on the bed all day watching Youtube or something.

I am at a loss and thinking about what to do.

My friends told me about the annulment of marriage but I don’t what to do. Time is ticking as there is like a “1-year rule” for the annulment of marriages.

My wife has her own business she started when our daughter was born. She makes baby products, blankets, etc.

This started in 2017 and was originally supposed to be a small thing she did in her spare time.

Her mother got involved and it’s morphed into a monster. We are hugely in debt (I didn’t know how bad until recently) due to it. She has a card that is carrying as much debt in it as I make in a year!

So we had a big blow-up about that and I thought it was settled she would only work with what she has already. That didn’t hold true and I found out she has spent more on the business.

Now she keeps investing in stocks after listening to her friends hoping that it will “come back” but its gone, she used our child’s education fund which I have saved to make sure my daughter has university in the future and a bit extra.

Now on top of the financial issues, she also spends every spare minute I’m not at work or sleeping working on the business or on social media for it.

This leaves me to handle 90% of the household chores along with watching our daughter anytime I’m awake and not at work. I’ve expressed my concern about this several times, including indicating that it was making our marriage suffer. H

er retort is that because of my work and having to watch our daughter while I’m gone that she can’t get anything done for her business. I point out I’m only gone about 9 hours a day, so if I come home at 4pm and she works 4 that’s 8 pm.

This is pretty fair considering she does indeed get some work done during the day. Also I said if she wants to have 8 hours Saturday and Sunday I don’t mind. Instead of taking this reasonable schedule. She works until 11-1 at night EVERY DAY!

And then gets upset when I point out that she hasn’t spent time with our daughter or me, Hell most times I have to nag at her to take a shower etc because she begrudges the 20 minutes that that takes.

Also the stress her mom and the business puts on her makes her constantly have breakdowns or outbursts.

It came to a head when I went to pay our electric bill and I saw that our checking was down $200.00 more than it should have been and I was almost short of being able to pay the bill because she had bought something for her business.

She says I don’t support her in her endeavour either. This isn’t true, in the beginning, I always helped in any way I could. That’s how this whole routine started. Now I regret even that.

It’s not that she doesn’t make nice things, it just seems to not be working, it’s eating all her time and energy and quite honestly at this point I’m resentful.

I even offered that we should go to counseling but she refused. Now at this point I’ve kind of started talking to different people online and I feel guilty but not that guilty honestly.

Which scares me, I never ever wanted to be that guy. So I’m coming to the point of feeling like I have to set an ultimatum, but I have no idea if that will work and I just sit her wondering if anyone has a suggestion that can pull my marriage away from the cliff.

Because she has to either cut back or just close this business and focus on us as a family or it will collapse. (I’m not saying she can’t work or anything but our relationship and our daughter have to come first)

I am a single father myself, I have the custody of my child.

It’s never easy for a single parent to find another partner who can accept us with a “package”.

Tried dating and nothing goes well… Reading from the post you have mentioned that your parents are not supportive of this relationship. And they have caused other issues/obstacles for both of you.

But those kids are innocent. They don’t have a choice when they’re born. But we have the choice to make it happened and guide them the right way. The route ahead of you it might not be easy…but as long as you set your determination right, things will be easy.

At least you’ve got a partner to discuss…. If you really see a future with this lady. Don’t neglect her and do what you think it’s right. Not asking you to be unfilial to your parents. But ultimately, you are the one calling the shots and living the rest of the life with your partner.

I realised a lot of men have no issues accepting a woman who has a child from previous marriages but women on the other hand has a lot of things to say.

Back then when I was single this was never the issue, career and lookswise (not bragging) I am above average. When the child gets bring into the picture, the date goes cold and stop replying.

I totally understand that you got caught in between the situation kind of feelings. It’s never easy. But it’ll be fruitful if you take the step and follow your heart.