I’ve graduated for couple years now and recently old friends started to reconnect.

Randomly initiated communication with University acquaintances has gone from “Hi, you want to go out have coffee? (Insurance)” to “Hi, can you refer me into your company?”

I find it hard to reject the request so I try to help – not really looking for a referral bonus since I may want to leave.

It got really annoying when the person demanded how she can get the job (basically asked me for a sure-win strategy to offer to her future boss) and a lot of sensitive info.

I didn’t want to reveal sensitive data so I gave vague info and the conversation went in the direction of “I still do not have a plan after talking to you”. “This convo is not helpful”.

What is the world coming to?

Why are people feeling so entitled?

Why is it that she feels it’s my job to think of a way for her to secure this job even though I haven’t seen nor talked to this person for past 10 years?

I got very tired halfway through and just agreed to whatever was being said even if it was blatantly wrong. Didn’t feel like this person is worth my time.

I ended the call by pretending I had another call (again, not good at rejecting)

How should I reject these people nicely Or let them know in a civilised manner Idm helping to refer but stop talking to me like I’m her biatch.

Thank you for all the help and inspirations in advance!

I(31F)am a nurse, & work at a large medical group. I’ve been with the company for 8 years & I am considered a “seasoned” employee.

My colleague(38F) has been there 5 years & is a marginal employee who has managed to get away with just about everything with no disciplinary action.

She comes in late, calls out often and posts about it on social media, she questions the doctor, refuses to perform tasks because “she’s not comfortable”, and has had verbal altercations with patients. The entire team is dumbfounded at how she hasn’t been fired.

Complain

I’ve complained to my boss about how she doesn’t do her share of work and the workload always falls on the rest of us. She manages to have friends and nurses that cover for her regardless.

The frustration has caused a lot of tension between the staff because we have no choice but to pick up her slack. My boss knows & sees the frustrations, he says he’s tried in the past to discipline her and she went to HR and reported him for ‘biased treatment’. I contacted his boss, the director, and expressed my concerns and received the same response. I reached my breaking point a few days back when two of us nurses were running around tending to patients, while she sat there staring into her computer.

A netizen @diurnaowl, shared how he bought an iPad and an Apple Pen from Shopee but it came with issues and he can’t get a refund for his problematic purchase.

Here is what he said

I recently purchased an Ipad and Apple Pen from ShopeeMall but there is a problem with the Ipad.

When I received the Ipad and Apple Pen, I got a confirmation email to verify that the order was received and I clicked the link from the email since everything was delivered and packaged fine without thinking much of it.

The problem comes when I turn on the Ipad and if you’re familiar with apple products, you need to do a Quick Start set-up either manually or using your old phone. Once I reached the wifi page, after pressing next on the top right screen, it says that the Ipad is under remote management by a company.

After going on Apple forums, I realised I wouldn’t be able to use the Ipad unless I miracly have access to the company’s IT.

So I contacted the seller through the Shopee app,but despite them being an official reseller, their replies are unuseful and of no help, which is why I contacted shopee team for help.

They responded via email 1 hour later (on Sunday) with the promise of looking into the problem within 3-5 business days. Friday night comes around so I drop an email asking for an update and then later contacting through the Shopee app directly and still no response from them.

So I called in during Saturday afternoon (during my work break) and finishing the call and finally getting a response from the shopee team asking for evidence (not sure why this took so long if that’s all they were going to ask for) which I complied to.

Finally I got a response today saying shopee will not give me a refund as the seller states that the problem is an “internal company security system issue” and the item is not faulty and that I should contact the company myself (which should not be my responsibility as they should have removed this before it was even shipped to my address).

any advice/help would be appreciated!

update: I sent them another email explaining that the remote management isn’t something easily removable and including an explanation regarding lemon law and in response I got: the same auto-generated email saying I need to provide (image proof/video proof/amount to refund etc.), which I’ve already given to Shopee in our previous emails.

update 2: after sending the proof again, surprise they sent another auto-generated email asking for proof 🫠. Had my sibling go to the apple store this friday and the apple store currently has my iPad on hold. (their customer service is trying harder than the reseller and shopee)

Netizens’ comments

• Rookie mistake of clicking item is delivered without checking the status of it properly first. Always always check first.
• You can try to bring it to an Apple store (like an actual Apple store, not authorised reseller) and ask the staff for advice.
• Opposite experience with Lazada. Bought “new” Samsung phone, breaks after 11 months. Take it to Samsung warranty they say we were scammed with refurbished phone so not got 12 month warranty. Go back to seller, they run away. Speak to Lazada, they gave full refund pretty quick.
  Note:- the shop that ripped us off changed from Lazada to QOO10.
• I dunno but I would try bring it to Apple and let them know about the reseller also. Could be some procedures for resetting which they are not following, and Apple can be really particular about their reputation.

Visiting HDB estate as a tourist

I’m Australian and will be visiting Singapore next month for four days. I am wanting to do a mix of touristing and non-touristy things while I’m there, and have been told by a friend who lived in Singapore when she was growing up that I should visit a HDB estate.

My question is, how does one do that as a foreigner? I’m worried I will seem intrusive and obviously I do not want to do anything that may be perceived as offensive or distasteful.

Thank you :))

Netizens’ comments

• I think she meant visiting an iconic estate or a heartland. Not like go around the flats hahaha. Visit a heartland with hdb, small shops and coffeeshops.
  • Haha I know!! But I wanted to check that it wouldn’t seem disrespectful to residents?
    • not disrespectful , but ppl will just wonder “what is this ang mo doing around here” haha (for the estates further from the city). More curious than repulse
• Ok, so the big HDB estates take up a lot of room. They are multiple buildings with interconnecting paths and sometimes gardens and grass. They have playgrounds, outdoor seating and meeting areas. The ground floor level is free to walk around, some will have shops and restaurants at ground level under certain buildings. It is often the fastest way to walk somewhere is to cut through a HDB complex rather than walk the outside roads… No one will care if you are walking around having a look, sitting at a bench watching the world go by, or going in and out of the shops. Just don’t try and look into any of the apartments themselves, there are strict rules about “peeping tom” type things. Ask your friend for some suggestions or Google some classic HDBs in the area you are staying or visiting. There are some old more run down ones, some cool architecture ones, some modern very nice ones, and everything in between. High-rise, low rise, coffee shops, wet markets and hawker centres… enjoy
• I think it’s totally fine! In fact it seems like a great activity to do as you can experience the more authentic side of Singapore.
  I’d suggest avoiding the “high end” flats like pinnacle at Duxton or skyville at dawson, since those are considered outliers and more premium. Like many have suggested, old estates would be great. Even better if there’s good food nearby.
  You can just casually walk around the blocks, see what type of amenities we have like exercise corners or neighbourhood shops, appreciate the design and architecture, do some people watching and observe people going about their daily lives in the heartlands. As long as you don’t peep into the houses or stare at people it should be all good.

Today, I noticed my child returned home from preschool with abrasions on the neck and shoulders. it looked like someone grabbed the shirt and yanked very hard or was dragged.

3 months ago, it was a long scratch (with light blood) on the wrist and face. I shrugged it off to maybe rough housing. Teacher claimed she did not know what happened but apologized so I let it go as it was a new environment and school.

I went to speak with the teacher and she said that it was due to my kid being an agressor and violent during preschool (3 year old class) and would frequently attack other children so the marks are made by other children defending himself. She went on to say that my child is very difficult to manage and hits other kids etc.

When I asked about the well being of the other children and if the other parents were informed of the injuries she said no other parents were informed because the injuries were not severe. I asked for CCTV and the school said that it did not have any installed within its premises.

BTW my kid cowers in fear during drop off and acts up a lot about going to school and is terrified of this particular teacher. Once I joked that I was going to call the teacher on a weekend and it triggered a meltdown begging me not to call.

Because its pretty much a you say/I say situation, I don’t have any concrete evidence to back up my suspicion and for all you know my kid is really an animal. But instictively, something doesn’t sit right with me. He has frequent nightmares and hates going to school but loves ‘chinese class’ on the weekends (who loves chinese class seriously)

What do parents here think I should do? should I email ECDA or make a police report for investigation or has anyone gone through something similar?

PS: For safety, I have decided not to let my kid continue in that preschool with immediate effect but shudder at the thought of another kid going through the same thing.

Update 11.49pm , my child said and demonstrated to the mother and me how the uniform was pulled roughly and gestured to the neck area where abrasions were before falling down. Teacher was named by my child when asked further. We will be letting our child stay home until a new preschool is found

Sometimes I really feel that I cannot stay long for my current job.

I think the main thing is how to handle the stress that I get from the parents. I don’t like to teach students from prestigious schools (RI, RGS, HCI etc) because their parents are usually very tedious and demanding.

I have been complaining too much recently about my work and I feel that running doesn’t help much now. Maybe i should increase the intensity of my workout now. At least i wont think about those demanding parents when my legs are so painful.

I observed that the parents are harder to handle when their sons/daughters are from good schools. Some parents are so twisted to the extent that she complained to me how come her son only gets twenty-seven over thirty and she only expected him to lose one or two marks.

Pushy Parents

Seriously, he got A1 already, what’s wrong with this mother?! I am not sure if she wants to make a complaint or she just wants to low-key show off to me (just that in an annoying and twisted manner).

I don’t know what this kind of parent is thinking, but I’m quite awared that they know each other and have a tendency to compare their children’s grade. My colleague told me that this is part of the job and she has seen worst parents before who also complained about their children cannot score high A1. The father almost wanted to scold her in front of the counter. At the end, the center has no choice but passed it to the boss. May i won’t meet this kind of parents, but probably very high chance.

I guess I’m doing my work okay as the students’ grades are ok. However, i feel quite upset that i am unable to handle the parents well and skillfully. Probably it’s because I’m not a mother and I cannot put myself inside their shoes. Then, sometimes I really don’t want to lie about the kid’s behaviour. If i am not going to lie, then i can only feedback the negative things to the mom already. By using common sense, which mother will like to hear from teacher that their children have very poor learning skills and bad behaviours such as copying answer.

I understand that they have kids for the first time, so they are very obsessed with everything about the kids. However, some mothers are so obsessed to the extent that their children are just in secondary 1, then already asked me when will I teach them A math and will they learn it in secondary 2? This kind of questions really makes me speechless. I’m very very tired with handling parents now.

Honestly, i prefer to teach students from normal neighborhood schools as their parents are more cooperative. They are more receptive to feedback from tuition teachers. I don’t know why parents with kids from prestigious school doubt the teachers more.

This makes it hard to teach the children. Not only so, whenever they emphasize that my child is from RGS or other good schools to the teacher/admin, I feel that it’s not very good for the child development. It makes the child feel that he /she is a very special person amongst the whole class, and this makes it hard when I want to pinpoint their mistake in class. I am not sure if I’m the only one who faces this kind of problem. I just feel very tired and sick of this.

Sometimes I really feel that maybe I’m not suitable for this job. I have parents from another extreme end who is equally tedious. I have this NA student, his mom once said to us that if he really cannot study then next time he can follow his dad to sell fish in wet market. Haiz.

Cockroaches

Parents are very tedious to talk to. I’m very allergic to this kind of human. Dont go near me, dont talk to me. I rather see cockroaches than seeing this kind of human. I feel very stressful and i have problems handling this kind of stress now. Luckily, my parents never put me inside tuition class before.

Maybe i won’t stay long in this job. Sometimes I couldn’t fall asleep at night for a few hours as i kept thinking how should i handle the parents. Even if i think the students are very lazy, not motivated or not serious about the work, I also cannot talk until so direct to the parents. Need to phrase it in a better way.

I wish i can have less stress on this. May i feel more relax and happy. May i have a good mental health? I couldn’t sleep properly for the past few days and have been relying on caffeine.

Why i still cannot get used to handling all these different types of parents? I really feel like vomiting blood sometimes.

I still have a lot to learn on handling parents. I wonder how those senior teachers can endure all these.

I don’t know whether i can continue with this job or not. I feel very tired actually. Im very very tired and i want to take a break.”

Parents don’t even allow me to date or even talk to guys.. what to do ? I’m currently 18F my parents still don’t allow me to date or talk to guys💀 despite me being in a mixed school.

Ofc I dated behind their back and hung out with my guy friends by just sending them a picture of my female friend as per required by them.

This environment is extremely restrictive and when I was talking to my friend about the hot guys in my school and when my parents overheard.

They were like wtf you shouldn’t be talking about this, when I was ur age I didn’t talk about this. The ironic part is that they started dating when my mom was sec 4 so wtf.

Netizens’ comments

• My parents were like yours when I was 18, now I’ve been dating my bf for 3 yrs and my parents still don’t know lmao Don’t worry too much lah, overtime they’ll care less/get (grand)baby rabies and push you to date xD
• Do it once, they scold you. Do it twice, they scold you harshly. Do it thrice, they tell you off. . . . . . Do it x times, they dont care.
• Wah, controlling parents are never good, the kids always turn out…. Wild.

• Tell your parents that if you don’t start now and Chope some half decent bloke, then down the road you suffer from GGG^. If they expect grandkids 10 years down the road, then how? Ask them, grandkids you wan or donwan? If they force you to miss opportunity now, then later don’t complain one if you bring home a goth chick to seek their blessings. GGG = “good guys gone”.

I’m currently in severe pain right now so my sentences might come out as gibberish. But it’s the first time I’ve ever been served food I’ve told behold hand that would turn me into a brawling vomiting mess and I don’t know what next I should do right now. I feel terrible and I can’t summon the brain power to think past the fog my mind is in right now.

I feel I should inform someone but I don’t know who it is exactly I should be informing.

Anyone willing to help a doubled over idiot right now?

For context :

I’ve told the server multiple times I have a severe prawn allergy and to remove it completely from the meal I was having. She showed me the ticket before submitting the order, seemed good enough! My meal came and everything seemed in order, no prawns in sight.

Me and my friend dig into the meal and I take two sips of soup that was served in a small kettle and within 5 minutes of consuming it, I started having an allergic reaction, lips itching, throat closing and I had trouble speaking and swallowing. Feeling dread, I opened the clay pot to find within the huge nestle of mushrooms was a single shelled prawn.

Rightly freaking out, I rushed out to the nearest pharmacy, (there was a Watson within sight) to buy a pack of antihistamines to counteract the allergic reaction I was having and luckily the pharmacist at the counter gave me what I needed to stop me from blacking out right there in the store.

When I returned, I informed the manager and what I think was the assistant manager what had happened but they were so swarmed with the dinner crowed that I felt like what had transpired was swept under the rug. Me and my friend tried to finish the rest of the food before I couldn’t handle the growing numbers of symptoms and we left. Me to a nearby clinic to seek furthur treatment as I had begun experiencing lancing pain in my stomach.

Is there any recourse I could seek?

I’m 29 years old, female.

Recently, my boyfriend of 1 year has a job that requires him to work long hours, so he proposes I stayover at his place occasionally. His family is very welcoming, and I have slept at his place before (in secret). However, I’m thinking of making it a regular thing and I really am tired of concocting lies to my mum.

Some of you may say at my age I don’t have to ask for permission, but my mum has a very traditional and conservative mindset.

From multiple episodes in the past, she also behaves very explosively when angered. I have tried broaching the topic before, but she thinks sleeping over at my boyfriend’s place makes me look very ‘cheap’ and this may cause my boyfriend’s family to disapprove of me.

Knowing my boyfriend and his family for the past year, I can say with certainty they are open-minded and definitely don’t care about any of those.

At this point in my life, I want to think about my career, buying a flat, starting a family, and not worrying whether my mother will allow me to stay over or whether I can go out at 10pm for supper.

I also don’t want my boyfriend’s impression to suffer, as she may think I’m ‘rebellious’ as I’m being led astray.

Seeking everyone’s opinion, I’m at wits end.