When the restriction was lifted, he took a month off and flew back and demanded that I be with him when he’s here. I was a bit reluctant because I work during the night.

But when he’s with me, he splurged on food, he took me to an expensive restaurant, when he’s buying a watch, he asked if I wanted one and he paid for it. He gave me his old AirPods, which I had to deep clean several times because they were too dirty.

But it’s free. I earn only 1/10 from his earnings, I cannot say no to free stuff. I listened to his daily work rants, I know abt his family, everything. I was like his local wife but sans ring, marriage, monthly allowance and I-love-yous. I know he’s married before, but he never told me that and I didn’t bother to press for clarification. What’s past is past.

An accident happened last month and I lost my savings to almost zero.

To make matters worse, I was sick and was in and out of the hospital for treatment. He knew this, he knew all about me. Every day he would send pictures of Air Jordans and ask which one’s better, or perhaps a new TV, which size would be a better experience for his gaming room or a speaker set that will blast his eardrums. I would give him my opinion and he would buy those suggested items.

My phone bill was due yesterday and I barely have $200 in my account to survive till next month, so I asked if he could help me with the bill. He said no, he said he has no money too. I was surprised but I kept quiet.

And then he continued sharing luxury stuff that he got his eyes on, asking for my opinion again. Which I know, once I give my opinion on which one is better, he would send another picture to tell me that he bought it already.

I don’t feel like responding to his messages anymore, but I took a lot of free stuff from him.

Nicolas was always the golden grandchild, he gets everything because my grandparents love his mom (my aunt). My mom had me when she was 16, and sadly, my family has always thought I wouldn’t amount to much.

Thankfully I have, I make over $200k a year in my career in sales, but I still live modestly (I drive an old car, don’t buy fancy clothes or new clothes often, don’t really go to any fancy places, etc.). I keep to myself mostly, my family doesn’t know how much I make.

I went to birthday dinner at my grandparent’s house, and of course, Nicolas just keeps going on and on about how great his job is. Great company, great job, he’s set for life, blah blah blah. Everyone is eating it up.

What irks me when he talks about his job is that my aunt (my uncle’s wife) got the job for him (she works there).

She got him an internship, and he abandoned his position after a few months because he got bored. My aunt still pushed some people around internally and got him an interview for the job he has now.

He failed his interviews miserably, and again, my aunt twisted some arms and got him in. I had periodically asked the same aunt if I could work there, and she had always said they weren’t hiring. Whatever.

At dinner, Nicolas starts taking jabs at me, saying how it must suck to work in sales.

He says that I just beg people for money and it’s one of the worst jobs to have. He starts talking about how I couldn’t make it as a lawyer (I planned to go to law school but didn’t) and now I was stuck in sales.

Everyone is laughing along at his jokes at my expense. He tells everyone he’s making $100k a year, gets to take nice vacations, etc. Then he turns to me and says, “maybe one day you’ll catch up to me and can afford to take vacations too! And maybe you’ll be able to get rid of that old piece of lousy hyundai you drive!”

Revenge

I laughed and said, “Haha, I’m a year younger than you and I make $215k a year from a job that I got all by myself and managed not to screw up within 3 months of working there.” But hey, maybe one day you’ll catch up to me! If Auntie continues bootlicking enough for you, that is.”

Everyone at the dinner table started laughing, and he went to the washroom, embarrassed.

One of my aunts pulled me aside to say it was not cool to put him down for his past mistakes. I think he deserved it for being a jerk.

Anyways, I am a cashier, I started out as a cashier, then got promoted to money services/customer service within the first year of my being there. I was involved with their pickup when it was there, and I learned the layaway layout when it was available.

At one point in the 5 years, I applied for a management position for the front end and I didn’t get it but I learned a lot since then.

*the situation

I have covered lunches and full shifts for our managers before. It bothers me, considering that I am not “trained to be a manager” and I am not getting a manager’s paycheck. When I do cover it’s for emergencies, like “no coverage.” and I usually don’t mind because I know how to handle situations well, I know procedures, I know policies, the cashiers respect me and I overall feel comfortable taking on the leadership role.

On the day (today) I am calling in there is no front-end manager scheduled (it was probably the day assigned to the one on vacation.) I work 3 pm-12am, there is another cashier who sometimes helps out who can help me from 11am-8pm.

I literally had to find out myself that no one was scheduled that day. And when I confronted one of my managers about it, asking who was going to cover, they said “oh didn’t they tell you, they were gonna tell you to do it”

They were just going to dump that information the day of, and they expected me to be okay with covering.

I am not okay with it because I feel I deserve to be asked ahead of time and feel like I have the choice to say yes or no. In this situation, they are just assuming that I will be okay with covering. There are more responsibilities with being a manager than being a cashier, and I am not even getting paid more for it. (Money isn’t the issue, because I have covered it before when they have asked.)

It was just really upsetting that they expect me to just be okay with them taking advantage of me, and whenever I need help or favour they won’t help me back. They take advantage of the fact that I know what to do and the procedures and everything.

And I know for a fact that there isn’t any other cashier that day (today) that will be able to cover, except for that cashier who is there for 11-8 but I know she won’t stay till 12.

My husband and I each had our own cars when we got married. His car sucked. Mine is fairly reliable but pretty old. I have a 40-minute commute to work and he works down the road, so we decided to trade in his car and get a new one for me, and he’d start driving mine.

I got approved for a loan from my bank and added my husband to it because he has little credit history right now. thought it would just help his credit score over time.

We went to a used car dealership. My husband knows nothing about cars, I did all the talking. But the salesmen responded to every one of my questions by talking to my husband. We found a car with less than 100k mileage with a solid maintenance history for a good price.

He had my husband sign the paperwork. We asked about it, and he said as long as we’re both on the loan, it doesn’t matter who signs the purchase agreement. No problem, I thought.

We go to the bank and get a check for the dealer; it only has my husband’s name.

We purchased the car, and he only had my husband sign the paperwork. He tells us that we will both be on the title when it comes in the mail. Three weeks later, the title comes out, and it just has his name.

We go to SOS and they tell us they can’t add me to the title without the banks permission. Okay, makes sense, we go to the bank and ask to have me added.

They tell us the title cannot be changed until the loan is paid off.

I understand that we’re married and share property and all that, but why is it that I can’t be added to the title of a car that we bought for me? I’m the one that took out the loan. We added him as an afterthought because his credit history is practically empty. He never even set foot in the bank during this; they just called him to verify some information.

Every step of the way, I was told I’d be in the title. I have no idea why I can’t be added, and the bank refused to give me a reason. It’s just that it can’t be modified until the loan is paid off. Is there anything I can do, or is this just how stuff works? Ever since we got married, I’ve been treated as “less than” my husband when getting insurance, paying for HDB etc, and it’s just kind of disheartening.

My mom, on the other hand, disagrees with my way of living. She told me to look for a real job. She asked me why I studied for my bachelor’s if I won’t use it.

I told her about my stock dividends, and she said that I can’t rely on them all the time.

I showed her my savings, my emergency funds, my retirement savings, and my health insurance. She was shocked at first but still insists that I look for a stable job.

I know my mother means well, but I know she’s embarrassed by me not having a title job, unlike my older siblings who are an accountant and a chemist. When there are gatherings, she also loves to talk about my older sisters’ success in their work fields. I know I’m embarrassing her because the one who she hoped to be the most successful doesn’t have a decent job. I also feel bad.