It started a few months ago. I started noticing small things that seemed weird to me. He would hide his phone and change the password constantly. He kept switching from numbers to a weird design to numbers again. Whenever I would catch him on his computer late at night (he’s an insomniac and sometimes spends entire nights in the living room watching stuff on his laptop and headphones) he would shut it real quick. Anytime I would ask about it, he would brush it off or change the subject or reassure me it was “nothing to worry about” or “work stuff”.

He was always super good at sending me surprises like flowers at work or funny memes while I was visiting family and he couldn’t tag along. But a few times when I got really upset about the weirdness he would take me out to eat at nice places or places I really like even if he doesn’t like them much. It just sorta felt like he was trying to cover tracks and make me forget why I was upset. He would even do extra chores around the house (since we split 50/50) so I could just put my feet up after work.

There were also times he just seemed super excited or happy but when I would ask about it, he would stammer through some lame excuse like he didn’t realize I was there to see or had to think up something fast. Something was just gnawing at my insides because I just knew he was keeping something from me. But I just didn’t have the proof.

So earlier tonight we had my sister and her husband over for dinner. I was sitting talking with them while he went to grab the dessert from the kitchen but he was taking so long that I went in with my sister to see what was up. That’s when I heard, “yes, let’s do that…..no, I think we’re good, she doesn’t know anything.” And he sounded so proud that “she” didn’t know.

And it was like everything just came crashing down because I thought, that’s it. That’s my proof. And I started crying and my sister jumped to the same conclusion and started yelling. Then I started yelling, pointing out everything these last few months and she yelled some more. Her husband watched from the dining room, wide-eyed and totally freaked out too because his wife was. After we all finished yelling at him, while he was on the phone, he said, “Mom I have to call u back” and hung up.

He just….offered me his phone with this weird look on his face. On his phone were plane tickets, tickets for tours and a concert, hotel reservations, an email exchange with my boss about approving time off for me and a picture of a ring sent to his mother. The tickets were to a place I have always wanted to go. The tours were for things I wanted to do.

My brain went blue screen, I couldn’t even think and he went into our room and locked the door. He won’t come out and he won’t talk to me and I can’t even text him because I have his phone which his mom is blowing up and asking what happened, who was yelling, is he ok….

I’m a bad person. I know this. I had no real proof like pictures or emails or texts or anything. What can I do? Can I fix this? How do I even begin to apologize? I’m so lost and my sister has no idea what to say or do either. I feel so fucking awful. I just kept remembering all the stories of women who let go of red flags or dismissed weird behavior only to find out the guy was cheating, and it built up so far into my head that it just spilled over. My gut was telling me he was hiding something and he was, but it was not what the panic in my mind told me it was.

Hi, I have a serious trust issue with my (M29) wife (F27).

Basically, she is a stay at home mom to our one kid. I gave her $80K to invest because she was interested in creating a personal retirement portfolio. She immediately gave all the money away to her friends, family, scammers, etc and lied about it until the story quit making sense.

My central issue here is the trickle truth that I got. She told me everything, she promised that was it. The next day, more layers were revealed. Eventually, the loss started at just 20k, then 45k, then 80k.

And finally, she also had a secret loan made as an attempt to cover it all up. Literally, she has said to me ‘I swear to god, that is the whole truth, there is nothing else’… and 24 hours later, it turned out to be another lie. Some of my friends also knew about this and the lies, said nothing to me.

I just don’t trust her anymore, about anything. What can I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• It sounds like you shouldn’t trust her. The problem was that you used to trust her, now that problem is solved.

• She is financially depriving you and your child because of her expenses. I’m sure that’s a very good reason to leave her, at least temporarily.

• It sounds like she is a gambling addict. Playing the stock market in an active way has a lot of similarities. Also she risked more to try to recoup her losses and now she’s asking for more.

• I’m not sure where you are but see if there is a problem gambling program. Try to see if that might apply. A number of folks who do things like day trading also have gambling issues.

• $80,000 is a massive sum of money. If you guys had already picked out the account it was supposed to go into, it’s incredibly disturbing that she didn’t simply put the entire amount in that account.

A woman shared how she was having an argument with her husband and she then challenged him to make her shut up, to which he then slapped her in the mouth.

Here is the story

It happened while he was arguing with our daughter’s babysitter for money. I told him to pay her for the day but he kept arguing then told me to shut up and stay out of it since he’s the one handling payment.

I dared him to shut me up and he slapped me across the mouth with his hand. My whole face went numb and I felt helpless.

I started crying after the babysitter left and refused to speak to him completely. he later tried to back paddle and say he was just feeling irritated and I was pushing him knowing he is struggling with money.

he asked that I forgive him but I can’t let this go. I keep replaying the scene in my head and feeling humiliated infront of the sitter.

I wish it didn’t happen.

Netizens’ comments

Also please be careful, it’s not as easy as “just leave”- For many reasons, including you have mixed emotions, I understand but also because the violence typically escalates when you start talking about leaving or when you actually do break it off. Get help. Make a plan. There are organizations and therapists trained in this.

I’m a woman in a career field who really doesn’t care about appearances.

My boyfriend is in a job where looks matter more, investment banking. He wears suits and has to present himself as more wealthy to look good at work.

My boyfriend wanted me to come to some work events, dinners or happy hours.

But he said that it was something we’d need to dress up for. I offered to wear some nice dresses I have and he said that it was more than that, his colleague’s wives and girlfriends wore designer and had professionally done hair and nails. And that it really was just what was needed to succeed in his workplace so he considered it a professional expense.

I said that made sense for himself but I’m not responsible for his professional expenses

He agreed to pay for the clothes and salon appointments and I also asked him to compensate me for my time getting “presentable” for those events. Additionally, if he wanted me to act a certain way during these events which were different than my usual behaviour at a social event, it should be treated like work, I’d expect to be paid for my time.

He thought that was unfair, saying that it was weird to charge my boyfriend to attend an event with him. I said that if I’m not attending as myself, but instead presenting an image for business development purposes, that’s not socializing, that’s labour.

He agreed to that at the end, and we came up with a list of things I’d need to attend an event with him… Designer dress, designer heels, jewellery, hair done, nails done, makeup done, handbag… He picked out the dress heels and bag, and he asked me to find salons to have my hair, nails, and makeup done.

When I told him how much the cosmetics appointments and the time I spent on them cost he was upset it was $700. And adding that to the clothes he bought and the time we’d be at the event, it was coming to almost $2000.

We went and I played the part, it was uneventful. Nobody paid me much attention. Felt like a bit of a waste but whatevs.

But afterwards, when I mentioned that I wanted to borrow his card to make an appointment to get the nails removed since I needed them filed down by a professional before work, he got frustrated with me. Saying that I was milking him for money and I was only with him for money. I told him that I make the same as he does.

He got pissed and said that most girls know how to dress themselves and do their own makeup nice, and I got so frustrated I said sarcastically “go date most girls then, I’m sure ‘most girls’ would looove being treated like a human dressup doll!”

He got really mad about that and I feel frustrated too, like he expects me to do unpaid for his work! Like I would never ask him to do anything for my job, let alone do my job unpaid!

So am i in the wrong?

My girlfriend and I recently went out for dinner. It took them a while to seat us as they were short staffed.

We ordered an appetizer to split as well as a meal each. I noticed that they were really trying to rush us along, bringing out our meals at the same time as the appetizer. The server kept grabbing things off the table, asking, “All finished with this?” and beginning to walk away with it in her hand, before I stopped her and told her we weren’t finished. After the third time, first the bread, then my half-filled beer, and then the appetizer. I had enough.

“I understand you have a job to do. Please do not touch anything in front of me until it is cleared and off to the side. Stop interrupting our meal, please go away,” I said very sternly.

A friend of mine came in and was seated at a table nearby, I turned around to greet him and engaged in chit chat for about two minutes. When I turned around my meal, which I had barely touched, was gone. My girlfriend hadn’t even noticed it go missing. I called the waitress over, who handed me the check and asked, “Will there be anything else?”

I told her my meal had disappeared.

She blankly replied, “Oh, I thought you were done.”

I said, “No, I am still eating. Go get my dinner and bring it back here.”

She replied, “Ummm… it got thrown out? Because you looked like you were done, so yeah…”

I told her to go get her manager. She responded that he didn’t have time to see me. I told her that he needed to make time because I was about to make a scene in four seconds.

She left and a minute later came back and said that he was too busy. I told her to reprint the check without my meal on it. She refused saying I ordered it, I had to pay for it, and walked away.

I let my girlfriend finish her meal. Took the check, put a line through the cost of my meal, pulled cash out of my wallet to cover the appetizer, drinks, and my girlfriend’s meal, wrote, “No Tip: Your server was rude, incompetent, and threw out my dinner”, and handed it to the cashier as one bundle as I walked out.

My girlfriend thinks I went a bit overboard and that I should have at least tipped for the other employees involved. My mother, a retired waitress, is furious that I took it upon myself to alter a check and leave without paying for food I ordered.

She thinks it was an honest mistake and I need to be more understanding.