Let’s get straight to the point. I am a full-blooded, born-and-bred Singaporean, but I absolutely despise our local “choping” culture. You all know exactly what I’m talking about. You walk into Maxwell or Amoy Street Food Centre during the peak CBD lunch hour rush, holding a heavy, piping hot tray of soup, only to see half the tables empty but heavily guarded by pathetic 20-cent packets of tissue paper.
It makes my blood boil, and frankly, I’ve stopped putting up with it.
My Unapologetic Confession
Here is the ugly truth that most people are too polite to act on: I always throw your tissue paper away.
I don’t just push it to the side or leave it on the adjacent chair. I take that flimsy little pack, toss it straight into the nearest dustbin, or I just sweep it off the table. Then, I sit down and eat my lunch in peace.
Inevitably, ten minutes later, the “owner” of the seat will march up holding their tray of food, looking confused and then angry. They’ll confront me with the classic passive-aggressive, “Excuse me, I put my tissue here.”
Them: “Eh sorry, this seat is taken. My tissue was here.” Me (Acting completely blur): “Huh? Got tissue meh? I don’t know leh, when I sit down the table was empty. Maybe the cleaner auntie took it away or wiped it off?”
It works every single time. They will grumble, give me a black face, maybe kpkb (complain) a bit to their colleagues, but they can’t prove anything. They just have to walk away and find another table. Do I feel bad? Not even a single percent.
Next Level Entitlement: Lanyards, Phones, and Wallets
Recently, people have gotten even more bold. Tissue paper is one thing, but some of you are actually using company lanyards, umbrellas, and—believe it or not—phones and wallets to chope seats. Who leaves a $1,500 iPhone on a greasy hawker table just to secure a plastic stool?
Let me make this perfectly clear: If it is a phone or a wallet, I also throw it on the floor. I don’t care.
You leave your valuables unattended in a public space, you take your own risks. I will literally brush it off the edge of the table with my arm, sit down, and start eating. When you come back panicking and looking for your dropped phone on the dirty floor, I will give you the exact same script: “Oh, I didn’t see anything on the table. Maybe it fell down before I came?”
Why This Culture Needs to Die
Think about the sheer stupidity of choping for a second. Why should you get to reserve a seat for 30 to 45 minutes while you queue for your Michelin-bib chicken rice, leaving the table completely empty? Meanwhile, people who already have their food are forced to stand around like idiots, waiting for a space to open up.
- It’s inefficient: Tables sit empty during peak hour while hungry people stand.
- It’s selfish: You are prioritizing your own convenience over the actual physical needs of someone holding hot food.
- It’s entitled: Leaving a 20-cent item does not give you property rights over public infrastructure.
“First come, first serve” should mean you secure a seat when you actually have your food in hand, not the second you step foot into the hawker centre.
I know I am going to get downvoted for this, and people will call me a menace to society. But honestly? If everyone started throwing away these choping tissues, this ridiculous, toxic culture would die out in a week.
Wake up your idea, Singapore. Stop leaving your trash on the tables and expecting a VIP reservation