We met in September, been basically inseparable ever since. He made it official on valentine. We had a rough start but he promised he would work on his issues and so far he has been absolutely amazing.

I have these doubts about his honesty even though he hasn’t given me reason to. In fact, he does many small things that should, in theory, show me that he is committed and honest about his feelings for me.

One of the things he does that I appreciate the most is that he calls me whenever he can squeeze in any time between jobs, even when he’s with other people. He also says some pretty damn sweet and romantic things about/to me in front of/to his friends, which is a big one for me because of the type of person he is—aside from his incredible sense of humor (he is the funniest person I’ve ever met), he is a pretty serious, straight to the point, get to work, no time to screw around and no BS kinda guy so

Whenever he expresses his love, appreciation, and adoration the way he does, as often as he does, it’s always kind of a surprise to me. Plus, there’s the fact that he spends most of his non-working hours with me and spends every night at my place. That counts for something, right? Lol.

So far my doubts and suspicions have always been proven wrong and I end up feeling like a total idiot. A few days ago I made a comment that suggested I have the suspicion that he’s only in it for the “special”, and he later admitted he was pretty hurt by that.

Why can’t I fully enjoy my relationship and this love that I am lucky enough to have found?

This is honestly what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I have always wanted a man who isn’t afraid to show how much he cherishes me, who says the most beautiful things, who constantly compliments me and shows me his desire for me, who is so considerate of what I might want and need even when we’re not together, whose actions clearly show that he thinks of me throughout the day, who acts like an old school gentleman… sometimes he doesn’t even let me put my own shoes on for fucks sake. I feel like I hit the jackpot, and the fact that he talks about forever, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and how I am the last and only woman he ever needs… it all feels so so perfect.

So I’m afraid my own trust issues will lead me to remain very skeptical, like I’ll want to keep myself at a “small” distance at all times, which could easily ruin everything eventually. How do I get over that?! How do you get rid of your trust issues?

My (28M) girlfriend (25F) Shared my private pictures with her friends

We have been dating for 8 months. It is a LDR relationship. we have a great relationship and she wanted to introduce me to her friends and we had a zoom call.

She made a joke which hinted that I was well endowed. Her friends laughed and one of them said I know. I was extremely uncomfortable.

After the call, I talked to her about it and she said she had talked to them about it and I pressed a little and she confessed that a few of them may have seen a few pictures I had sent her because she had been drunk and she got the text at the bar.

She said I should get over it as I have nothing to be embarrassed about and they were all jealous of her. It makes me want to puke.

I just feel bad about myself. I don’t want those to be shared. I think I may be insecure about this. I feel like she sees me as a piece of meat rather than her boyfriend.

It is breaking my heart. She thinks that it was just one slip up and I don’t know honestly? I just want to block her. How do I deal with this?

How do you afford relationships in Singapore?

How do you afford relationships in Singapore

So I’m from America and recently moved to Singapore. I’m 29 and earn a “okay” salary (it’s a local non-expat contract for the big 4 so can work it out from that) although it’s tough with the current rental market and definitely not rich.

I moved here single and so been trying to date. I don’t really have a preference in terms of people I date as long as we get on. I’ve had a few long term relationships back in the USA for which the most part were great, but unfortunately they didn’t work out.

So I started dating this girl a few months back. She’s from Malaysia but she’s PR here. She’s 25 and earns a reasonable salary for her age I’d say (between 3 and 4K).

The first date we went on I suggested some chill drinks and then she replied and asked if we could go to some fancy restaurant which would set me back about $250. Although, the whole night ended up being much more. Dinner was $250, taxis were $50. Then we went for drinks after (2 cocktails) which was $120. So altogether it cost nearly $420. She hadn’t even tried to offer to pay for something.

Anyway, fast forward a while and we’re officially together now and she still expects me to pay for everything when I’m with her. Whether that’s to pay for her taxi to my place, dinner dates, trips away and even daily expenses. On top of all this, she also expects me to buy her gifts for her birthday, treat to things. I have no idea where she expects all this money to come from.

I seem to have to pay for absolutely everything and she doesn’t even offer to pay. I’ve raised this to her and she said that I’m the man and should pay as she doesn’t earn a lot. I’ve told her that I’m not in a position to pay for everything and she said fair enough, but things still haven’t changed.

She’s said that all the guys she’s dated in Singapore, they’ve always paid for everything and I’m the first guy to raise this issue to her. I’m at the end of my tether because I do like hanging with her but I need her to take responsibility and offer to pay for things, unless of course I’ve specifically said I’m taking her out for dinner.

We’re going on holiday to Vietnam soon and in the process of booking things. I don’t expect her to pay 50/50 but unsure how to go about splitting the cost with her.

Am I being unreasonable here? How do guys in Singapore manage it? It’s literally getting to the point where I cannot afford to have a girlfriend. I don’t feel like I’m being used, since we spend a huge amount of time together and she does seem to genuinely like me, but she seems to have this mindset that guys are ATM cash machines and rich, which I’m far from.

Any advice people have?

Pivoting career help

Basically, I did a generic biz degree and I regret it. Why? The admin 9-5pm life isn’t for me.

My whole life, I’ve been doing what my parents wanted or the “right” thing. I’ve somewhat been on auto pilot. I’m not blaming them, I didn’t know any better – and now, I’m taking responsibility.

Just want some advice on any of the following or whatever the community sees fit. Thanks in advance.

-Looking for a non admin job. Maybe customer facing or sales perhaps? Any tips?

-Starting a Business?

-Anything you can think of to help me get on the right track.

Here are what netizens think:

• Start with identifying the skills you have. Academic skills, technical skills, soft skills. Then see where those skills can bring you, then see what your like to do. Without knowkng your skills, and what you like, kind of hard for us to give you some realistic ideas.

• I’m a Corporate guy turned online business owner here.
  Here’s my take.
  1) Business will shorten your life with the stress and loss of sleep, but is so life changing that I won’t ever work for someone again.
  2) Always hold a job while building your biz. Quit only if your biz pays as much as your job consistently… I took 2 years to make that happen.
  3) Do some networking if you have zero ideas on where to start, what to sell.
  4) Be ready to sacrifice your hobbies and be anti social in the beginning when you build your biz. Can’t sacrifice those? Then better find a job.
  5) Once you start a business, build your team and make them run your business on auto pilot… and you can finally enjoy the rewards of the game… freedom to live your life. All the best.

• What do you like to do? Figure that out, then figure out what pays in that industry, then try your darndest to get in. Its ok to make mistakes, change your mind etc, but my personal recommendation is to try anything for at least 2 years before changing it, so you build experience and overcome the steep initial learning curves. All the best

Toxic boss?

I’m working in the public sector, one that handles something that all of us have. I have a boss known as Ms W. I suspect that she has something against me, I don’t know why. I feel very uncomfortable whenever she talks to me, always staring at me. She will comment on my personal life and force her beliefs on me.

She would tell the rest of my team on things I have shared with her for people to comment and judge. I think she’s always gossiping with other bosses behind my back, about me sometimes.

She doesn’t even fight for me when people are faulting me for things that they have more fualt in. I feel that I’m not valued in her team and not listened to. I feel so distressed at work everyday with her as my boss.

Here are what netizens think:

• First thing is to stop sharing anything about yourself with her. Next, start looking for a transfer or another job. In the meantime, document any inappropriate behaviour on her part. But most importantly, learn to stand up for yourself and speak up if people are not treating you right. Yes, it’s not easy but it’s learned behaviour. Say things like “Do you think it’s appropriate to share my personal information with others?”. If you don’t learn then no matter where you go you will encounter such people. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.

• It’s got nothing to do with which sector you are working in. It’s the person you are working with, they exist in all different sectors. Go look for a new job if you are so unhappy, nothing to whine.

• Dude, doesnt matter what sector u in. There are bound to be bosses like her. Change job. All the best.

• Look for another job. You cannot change other people

• She must be single and old

• record audio evidence and report to PSD lor

Im 22 and my boyfriend is 4 years older than me and we have been daring for 6 months now. We met through an app during lockdown, he moved to my home during this time as my mom is practically always not home and now he’s away from family and friends. He only really has me. As you can imagine, this makes my heart heavy with anxiety.

Recently, he’s having some serious problems in his family and I’m here to support him but when I’m already thinking about ending things because it’s no longer an enjoyable relationship for me, I can’t bring myself to give him the love and affection he needs right now.

Due to this I was so nervous and lost on what to do that I broke up (without success) with him during this bad time.

He kept saying that we have a really good relationship and kept trying to convince me that I was only focusing on the bad stuff, he was crying a lot then he wouldnt eat because if he did he would throw up. He told me in the past that he struggled a lot with mental illness and even thoughts of self harm. I asked, please promise me you are going to be ok, and you won’t do anything stupid, he said he couldn’t promise me that. With all this in mind, and him being here alone, it gets impossible for me to do it.

This is not my first try. I really don’t know what to do. I think he is addicted to me.

Then I found out that he has been taking a long time in the toilet, I climb the toilet’s window from the laundry area and I saw a pink app which looks kind of like Tinder.

Is he really finding an excuse to find other girls.

I got fired from a job because I was told “I look creepy”? I am pretty vindictive, how do I create a stink about it?

I work a part-time event job on the weekends. I don’t super care about… actually rather hate it, so whatever. However, today I was told to go home a couple of hours into the 14 hour event because, and I quote “I look creepy”.

I was a little blindsided and didn’t know how to respond. I signed out, putting down my full 14 hour shift as in and out times, and left.

I don’t super care about the job, whatever I needed some time back, but as someone who is always self concious about his look, I kind of want to create as much damage to this company as possible.

Any ideas?

Netizens’ comments

1. Once I got written up because a secret shopper said I only smiled half a smile. That’s just…how my face works…
2. You don’t super care about the job, you didn’t want to be there, you were probably oozing that attitude out in front of everyone. When they told you to head home, you got your wish – you don’t need to be working a job you hate since you have a full time job already.
3. Honestly bro it just sounds like you’re creepy af. This is a chance for self improvement not trying to get revenge.
4. People get fired for social reasons all the time. Corporations just don’t use it as their official reasoning.
5. You admitted to literally hating what you were doing. Everyone’s body language and expression gets affected when they are doing things they hate doing.
6. Hmmmmm, if this is always happening to you, you really might want to consider looking in the mirror, cuz while sharing else changes, you’re the center of your own universe. Sounds like a you problem. And sending you home isn’t firing you; it’s sending you home. Go ahead and show up for work, unless you’re really just looking for an excuse to not go back, which is what this sounds like

Is there a nice way to tell my GF that I don’t enjoy eating her out?

So my GF(f24) and I(m25) have been together for 3 years and known each other for about 10. We have a pretty good and active life on the bed but, I find myself getting annoyed and turned off when she ask me to go down on her due to both her grooming and preferences with oral.

My GF doesn’t shave her private area at all because she doesn’t like the feeling of the hair growing back. I don’t have an issue with that by itself but, it makes oral difficult because she only likes it when I use my tongue on her.

My GF absolutely hates oral if my tongue is touching anything other than her cl-t. I can’t put my tounge anywhere else inside or outside her V as it reminds of her trauma she suffered in her childhood.

Having to focus on one specific spot is hard enough without having to use my fingers to push aside all of the hair she has down there and I still end up with a lot of it on my tongue and in my mouth.

Also, she’s on medication which makes it difficult for her to finish so, if I want to make her finish from oral, I’m having to tongue her without stopping for a very long time.

I’ve definitely gotten better at eating her out over time but, I honestly feel like I’m performing a medical procedure every time I do it instead of an act of love.

I don’t want her to not feel comfortable asking me to go down on her but, I think she’s catching in to the fact that I don’t like it and I want to have a conversation about it. Any advice is appreciated.

Netizens’ comments

1. Can’t y’all meet halfway and just trim things up down there?
2. She doesn’t have to shave the area.
   Get a hair trimmer, put it on the longest length, and just trim the top of the bush.
   If it’s still too long, next level.
   It’s a hair cut, not a shave.
3. I would say something like, “I really love eating you out, but i was wondering if you’d be open to trimming your hair. You don’t have to shave it completely, I’m only asking for us to try having it trimmed down. I’m finding it hard to focus on pleasing you bc it’s getting in the way.

I’m so scared of dying.

I turn 20 in April and I am absolutely dreading it. I feel like I’m constantly in a race but I’m up against time. I feel sick thinking about how I’m basically 2 decades old already and I probably only have around 5 left.

I can’t fathom the fact that I just won’t exist one day. I can’t comprehend how we just can’t get time back and we have to accept that.

Like I can’t go back to the moment when I started writing this post, it’s so fing weird to me, I hate it. I constantly feel a sense of impending doom purely because I just feel like I’m so old and I don’t have long left.

Netizens’ comments

1. Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming.
2. You were dead for billions of years before you were born mate, to absolutely no inconvenience to you whatsoever. Trillions of people have lived and died since the beginning of time. You had a 1 in a trillion chance of even seeing a second in this world, so the fact you’ve had 20 years is better than billions of sperm ever get. Hope that eases your mind.
3. Yup the days just keep going and they only go by faster the older you get, Just remember you spend more of your life over the age of 30 than younger, so…don’t worry about the impending doom just yet.
4. Hey, I get it. There was a point in my 20s when I realized I’m not going to live forever and it’s a very sobering thought. Death anxiety is insane. Appreciating what I have now, and what I’ve got to experience so far in life. You are young. You have so much life left to live. It has taken me a while to come around to accepting that one day, I will probs be ready to go. There are going to be people I miss, people I want to see again. Right now though, I try to appreciate what I have. It takes work to get through, but you’ve got this!
5. I was 20 like ten minutes ago, now I’m 45