A normal Singaporean here…

Study -> Army -> Uni -> BTO -> Married that kind of normal…

So far so good… But working for more than 10 years… I suddenly look at my CV and I feel its very empty…

I grad with IT degree but first job I did was related to rescue service… No linknto degree…

Second job admin… Then help desk… Then back to admin… And now marketing…

After all these… I feel like i am neither here or there… So recently someone asked me… What do you want to do? Go back to IT? Admin? Or expand in marketing… Which i have no degree or any knowledge to but got there due to a few successful projects I did during my help desk time…

Im not too sure what I want as I love all those!

Im just worried about making a wrong move forward… Talking to bosses wont help as they confirm ask me to stay…

Any advice out there?

Netizens’ comments

• Is totally normal to do jobs that have no link to your degree, one of my ex lecturer told me only 3 out of his 40 ish cohort do something related to their studies.

It seems like you like jobs with boarder scopes than specialisation responsibilities, then you can search for jobs for such roles that is more suited for a generalist, on top of my head are product managers, business analyst, consultant etc.

Take pride of your past experience, you can easily pivot and make use of them. Like you can justify for example, because I have an IT and marketing background, I can easily code switch, communicate with different stakeholders and see the bigger picture.

• Maybe take a break from work and do something outside that you enjoy like a hobby or games whatever.

Basically take some time for yourself and then start the grind again.

i might die in 7 hours, and I’m not afraid.

I (14M) have a bone disease known as Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE). It causes benign bone tumors to grow everywhere on my body. Although they aren’t cancerous, they are very painful when they are near a nerve.

A lot of these tumors have grown in my knees, fingers and ribs. You can probably guess there are a lot of nerves and muscles there that can be pinched and pierced. It hurts quite a lot. I am constantly at level 5 pain (scale of 1-10). I can only walk for up to 2 minutes, I can’t write (with a pen, if I couldnt type this post wouldnt exist lol) and I’m basically in agony.

We have decided I will go for surgery to saw off some of the most painful tumors in my knee. Hopefully this will restore my ability to walk. The doctors have also decided we should remove 2 of my ribs, which have cracked due to the tumors. They’ll be replaced with metal I think.

There is a 20% chance of death with all these very complicated procedures, and of course, a chance this surgery doesn’t change anything, or even makes it worse. Rolling less than 6 sided dice to determine if I live or die. But to be honest, I don’t really care what happens in this surgery.

If it works, great, I can walk again. If it fails and my condition stays the same/deteriorates, I’ve adapted to this disease enough. I can probably handle a few turns for the worst. And if I die, well, I suppose then there is no more pain.

My friends say it is wrong for me to feel okay about dying. I don’t exactly care if I die at this point. It’s in fate’s hands at this point.

In 7 hours, I’ll be on the operating table that’ll determine my destiny, see you on the other side

Netizens’ comments

• A very good friend of mine has this. She went through surgery to remove some of the very painful ones around her spine I think.

She made a 100% recovery, and she was 27 years old and a smoker/drinker.

• I probably have the same disease. When i was 15yo i had two biggest tumors removed, one from my arm and one from my leg. They were really big but in couple of days after the surgery i was slowly walking again. Today, more than 20 years later everything is still fine even though i have some more tumors left. After i stopped growing, they stopped growing. I guess what i am trying to tell you is to be brave and not give up. It will be better, you are stronger than the disease.

Credits: CaptAndrew

My hubby is almost 40 years old yet he speaks with his mother on the phone everyday. It’s either his mum calls him or he calls his mum.

I can’t stand such a mummy’s boy & honestly it’s a dealbreaker for me if I’d known about his habit when we were dating.

I visit my in-laws once to two times a week. It’s not like they can’t update each other then. Rmb it’s not emergency stuff that they’re updating each other everyday. She also doesn’t have major health issues.

She is very reliant on him on everything. She & her husband are moving to an estate close to us soon & I’m worried my hubby will run every small errand his parents esp. his mother asks of him simply because he chats with her everyday.

His mother asks him to do errands even when they live far apart, not to mention when they move near to us.

Guys, do you call your mum every day to update her about your day. I’m a girl and I don’t even do that! It’s creepy.

I’ve sounded this out to him by saying, ‘How come your mum calls you everyday?’ But he thinks nothing of it & doesn’t get the hint that I’m disgusted by it.

How can I make it clearer to him that he & his mum’s call routine is creepy? He may just hide, call & whisper in the toilet if I make it any more obvious.

Sorry, their kind of co-dependency is simply not healthy.

Netizens’ comments

• My mum text and call me almost every single day. Your post does feel offensive to me.Im glad I have a wonderful husband who even talk to her n ask her how she’s doing. And i feel sorry to you, but esp. to ur husband n in law family.

• I’m praying very hard when my sons grow up, they won’t marry a woman like you. Say in a bad way, they only have one MUMMY, but your position as wife…..they can change any time. And not as if she’s hindering your life. She’s talking to him, not you. He’s a very filial son, and I respect him. On the other hand, you, as a wife and daughter-in-law….not so much.

• Are you for real? Sorry if you didn’t get much love and affection from your fam, but please, don’t deprive him of getting lots from his fam.There is a difference between a “mommy’s boy” and a close knit fam.

I’m glad my stepdad is sad after I barely associate with him

My sister revealed how sad my mom’s husband felt about me barely talking to him, and I’m happy about it.

Like any other black sheep of the family, he treated me like crap by doing his dirt behind the scenes blaming everyone else, mostly me, for his actions, and releasing any other anger he had onto me.

I finally got my big girl job and packed my bags, moved into my apartment, and barely talked to those who did me wrong growing up without any regrets.

Now, he’s all alone because no one in the family really likes him anymore and just knowing his karma has arrived brings me joy.

Netizens’ comments

• What he did to you wasn’t right, but time dilates and dilutes, forgiveness is a form of healing for you as well, you could try reaching out and help each other move on.

• Good for you!

My friend made a disturbing joke, how do I proceed?

Today, my friend was going on about how he likes The Walking Dead. He then proceeds to talk about his favorite character.

He told me his name is Negan. He wanted to show me this villain so he went on YouTube and showed me the scene where he killed two characters called Abraham and Glenn.

During the whole thing, he kept saying “yo look at how he is laughing, that is so cool” ,”look at this savagery”, and “what an amazing character”.

Now as I was seeing the pummelling, where Negan used a baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped around it to smash Glenn in the head until his eyeball popped out, I felt sick to my stomach and felt angry about the barbaric scenes shown.

As he was pummelling, my friend jokingly said “I want to pummel you like that”. Now Ik he is joking with no bad intentions. Even if he tried, he can’t do anything to me.

The problem is, One, I am sick with what I saw so how do I deal w that. I can handle gore but it was the lack of humanity and how he continued even after death is what vexed me.

And two, should I be concerned with the joke he made and his infatuation of this sick character

Netizens’ comments

Your friend was ok, until he said he wanted to do that to you, i like Negan too, he’s a funny character and has some entertaining scenes in the comic and television series, but i’d never tell my friend i’d do what he did to them.

Him showing infatuation with this character is fine, people like The Joker, Darth Vader, Thanos, Jason Voorhees, and they are ok, the difference is, those people don’t go around saying “yeah i wanna kill half the people in the universe, that was so awesome.”

My friend made a disturbing joke, how do I proceed?

Today, my friend was going on about how he likes The Walking Dead. He then proceeds to talk about his favorite character.

He told me his name is Negan. He wanted to show me this villain so he went on YouTube and showed me the scene where he killed two characters called Abraham and Glenn.

During the whole thing, he kept saying “yo look at how he is laughing, that is so cool” ,”look at this savagery”, and “what an amazing character”.

Now as I was seeing the pummelling, where Negan used a baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped around it to smash Glenn in the head until his eyeball popped out, I felt sick to my stomach and felt angry about the barbaric scenes shown.

As he was pummelling, my friend jokingly said “I want to pummel you like that”. Now Ik he is joking with no bad intentions. Even if he tried, he can’t do anything to me.

The problem is, One, I am sick with what I saw so how do I deal w that. I can handle gore but it was the lack of humanity and how he continued even after death is what vexed me.

And two, should I be concerned with the joke he made and his infatuation of this sick character

Netizens’ comments

Your friend was ok, until he said he wanted to do that to you, i like Negan too, he’s a funny character and has some entertaining scenes in the comic and television series, but i’d never tell my friend i’d do what he did to them.

Him showing infatuation with this character is fine, people like The Joker, Darth Vader, Thanos, Jason Voorhees, and they are ok, the difference is, those people don’t go around saying “yeah i wanna kill half the people in the universe, that was so awesome.”

My wife (35f) revealed to me (34m) during a playful debate that she told her best friend (34f) my manhood size. It’s been bothering me for a few different reasons.

1: When I was in my early 20s and casually dating, I worked at a restaurant with one of the girls I was seeing.

After we stopped seeing each other, she went on to tell a bunch of girls working there that I had a big manhood.

A few days later, I have a bunch of girls who were previously uninterested in me, now hitting on me.

This bothers me because it’s objectifying. I couldn’t articulate in my 20s why it bothered me, but now that I’m 30+ and understand the situation better, I realized why it irked me.

I have thoughts like, “if these women are only interested in my little brother, why wouldn’t they just leave me for the next bigger one?” So I never took any of them seriously.

2: My wife told her best friend, who we see often. And she’s married. And she’s flirtatious with me. I brought it up with my wife that she flirts with me, and my wife brushes it off, “that’s just how she is, that’s just her personality”.

Another time I tried to be more firm and said that, no, I really do think she wants to bang me and that my wife has blinders on because they’re best friends since middle school.

They are ‘ride or dies’. I also would hate for my wife to lose her only best friend over some dumb thing she said that I’m possibly blowing out of proportion.

I thought my wife was different, but when she told me she revealed my size to her friend, it just reminded me of the restaurant girls all over again.

I hate that a lot of weight on my value as a man is based on how big an organ is.

My father told our family he had another son.

I assumed that it was a like a kid no more than five, it turns out he was 16m almost the same age as my younger brother who was 15m at this time.

After this announcement our family’s hasn’t been the same, which to be fair our family was never normal anyway. I had already held a lot of dislike to our father because the way he is.

Anyway when he told us he swore he didn’t know anything about the kid till recently. My mother went along with it even though it was obvious he was lying. So since then my dad has been in contact with this second son.

We had a meet up with family that had adopted him. My dad talked to both us, and the kids dad’s about wanting to bring him into the family and how this could be his home. I think he’s on his self-righteous bs, but my mom really believes him. The problem is it’s clear the kid doesn’t want that.

Recently we had him over for dinner and I could tell he was visibly uncomfortable around the family. He didn’t talk much, he didn’t touch his plate, and he would disappear in the guest room (where he was staying) for an hour at a time.

It turns out the kid is vegan and also has peanut allergy.

So I went to get him a meal from a vegan food place, and when I gave it to him his face lit up with happiness. It was the happiest I had seen him around us, and he seemed to had relax around me. When spent the rest of night talking and I learned a lot about him.

He’s a music prodigy and plays piano and violin, and overall is a really sweet kid. He showed me a picture of his mother that he keeps with him.

After that our relationship has been really good, but the problem is right now is that my dad is still pushing the “join the family” rhetoric.

The kid is shy, so how exactly can I go about tell my dad to step off about the subject?

He moved in with me a few weeks ago, and asked me to help him ‘learn’ how to certain things.

I started with cooking, I figured that would be one of the most useful skills to know for him. So every night when I’m cooking he ‘helped’ a bit, with me explaining why and how I do things. That has been the first two weeks or so. This week I told him to try himself without help, I found some easy recipes of foods that he likes, and left him to try things out.

Every single night this week I’ve had to do a big part of the cooking. Because he “doesn’t know how to cut this”, “doesn’t know how to do this”, or “it tastes better when you do it.” I’m tired of it. And that’s just cooking, I’ve been doing almost all the other chores myself too.

So I told him I’m done. That he’ll do his own laundry, cook every other day, and do the dishes on the days he doesn’t cook. That he can ask certain things, but only if he can’t find the answer himself, and I won’t show him / do it for him.

He got upset because ‘relationships are about helping each other’, but I feel like he doesn’t want to learn and just push things off on me. I’ve shown him how to make French toast twice, but he still claims he ‘doesn’t know how to do it’. I even wrote down the recipe! I just want him to put in some effort instead of expecting me to do it all.

I’ve talked this over with my mom, and she said I should be grateful he’s even asking to learn. My boyfriend thinks I don’t want to help him with anything. I think he’s a grown man and shouldn’t need his hand held the entire way, especially with simpler stuff.

My husband and I feel like we failed as parents

We took our daughter ( 15F) to her doctor’s appointment and, while we expected the number on the scale to be a bit on the heavier side, we were not expecting her to be nearly 220 pounds.

This didn’t seem to shock our daughter at all.

How she got to this weight, we already know. I work late hours often, as does my husband and for years upon years, it was a case where dinner for her was something microwaveable, frozen, order pizza, or, wait until one of us was home for a quick minute and we’d rush through a fast food drive thru.

As we reflected on it, we realized we’d been sleepwalking essentially, through plenty of things that should’ve alarmed us, like how often we’ve had to let out her pants for school, or how even getting off of the couch has become laborious for her.

We are a bit shocked that after seeing that number, she isn’t more alarmed and seems fine continuing a sedentary lifestyle.

My husband and I are lost as to what to do next with her.

Netizens’ comments

Start exercising as a family. Walking outdoors, at the park. Dancing is a fun activity as well. Try new recipes together as a family that are healthy but flavorful. Make sure to have a weekend treat like pizza, ice cream, etc.

Most importantly, don’t make her feel bad. Motivate her, encourage her. But tread lightly. My mom destroyed my self esteem when I was younger by harping on me. And I wasn’t even heavy.