I’m about a year into NS and I don’t have anyone I can confide to, so I’m doing it here.

Before NS, I was generally very chill and a happy-go-lucky kinda guy. Now, I’m easily irritable and annoyed at every single thing.

I bottle up all the bad emotions and experiences I faced into myself and it’s gotten to a point where I start to vent these very set of emotions onto my parents.

Whenever they are talking to me, I feel uninterested and upset at them for no good reason, and I talk to them in a very annoyed and sarcastic way.

I know deep down that I shouldn’t be talking to them like this but I just can’t control myself anymore.

I have a bunkmate who is a complete jerk. He acts and talks smart every single time but whenever he makes a mistake, he doesn’t admit it.

He has a problem with almost everything I’m doing and I honestly feel I’m going to punch him the next time he acts up again.

Long story short, I’m more anti-social now and I became more wary of others. I feel frustrated every single minute and I don’t like me as a person anymore.

Thanks for reading.

Netizens’ comments

To anyone who is gonna tell OP to man up. Manning up means nothing. Just because OP might be leaning on the edge of being a social pariah doesn’t suggest anything about his masculinity nor his capability to function in a professional setting.

Sure his current behaviour might lead to some concerning issues in the future, but you also need to understand that people react to different environments in their own ways. It is not logical to insinuate that OP’s struggle in NS would lead to a struggle in real life.

If you are successful in Singapore, would you be successful in the western side of the world? No one can say for certain.

In a world where cancel culture is the norm and people’s heightened sensitivities to toxicity is starting to dictate workplace etiquette, do you really think he can learn anything from the realities NS would supposedly instil in him? I’d honestly say, let the kid figure things out on his own.

People who find struggle adapting to the toxicities of such an environment would normally have a significantly better time out there where toxic masculinity tends to be noticed and punished rather than sucked up.

To OP, just try your best to survive. Nothing that happens in NS matters. My best advice would be to limit your social interaction to avoid unnecessary repercussions. I was in a similar position and I found that the less I gave a shit, the less I suffered.

A netizen shared how she is addicted to pain meds.

Here is the story:

“Not really sure of where to start. I’m 23 and I’ve been addicted to really strong painkillers since I was 12.

My mum first gave me them when I was 12 when I had my first period and was dealing with a lot of pain.

The pills give me this euphoric feeling about half an hour after taking them. This feeling lasts about 45mins to an hour but after that feeling wears off I go into the worst mood.

I can always feel myself coming down from the high and I become tired and angry. Then it’s another waiting four hours before I can take more.

It’s the only thing I look forward too everyday. I’ve been quite sick from them lately (nausea, headaches, dizziness and hot flushes).

I have managed to come off of them once before for 6 months but I injured myself and ended up being given the same pain killers in hospital which restarted my addiction.

I’ve been to a therapist for it but it didn’t really help. My doctors have no issue giving them to me even though they are aware of my addiction.

The last time I tried to come off of them I couldn’t take the anger and miserable feeling of knowing I have no high to look forward too.

I forgot to mention the reason I think I’m addicted to pain killers is because I’m already on antidepressants and anti anxiety pills.

I guess my plan is to come off of pain meds eventually but I’m not sure what will give me the same high safely. No one knows about it and it is awful.”

Editor’s note: PLEASE speak to someone about this, talk to a psychiatrist.

How to accept my partner doesn’t get very wet? Or get better at communicating about it??

This is starting to affect my mental health and i’m hoping to get some answers, maybe from women who had a similar “body chemistry”.

When we f, my partner doesn’t get wet like I am used to with past partners. When we first started she did but we were long distance for a long time and there was a lot of excitement.

Now that we are living together long term (a few years now) she doesn’t seem to get wet even when she is turned out.

If we do foreplay for awhile. We frequently use lube and I have always found lube to be useful in some situations so I am aware of how to mitigate this on the physical side of things.

I’ve tried vanilla foreplay, making out, touching over panties, spanking, some elements of D/s, her performing oral on me, me performing oral on her (she’s said she doesn’t get much out of it despite my best efforts)

I am trying to accept this but it’s really starting to tank my self esteem.

The last I talked to her about it she said she “is also worried about it” but we haven’t discussed it much since then because I don’t want her to feel like I’m judging her if that’s just the way she is.

I have always been decent in bed and was the first to make her finish in several different ways (even though she had a decent amount of experience in the past).

Now I have her play with herself using a toy to finish but anything other than that hasn’t lead to finishing in a long time.

Is this all me? I have a strong libido which is keeping me going but to be honest I wish I could make it go away. She has a responsive drive and says she wants to please me but I am having trouble trusting her.

We have played around with things like bjs to keep me satisfied in between sessions but I can’t tell if she wants to do it or is just doing it reluctantly. I guess I’m in my head a lot lately.

I guess I’m ranting here because I like to f for a little longer, nothing crazy like 20-30 minutes and I made an off-hand comment about us liking to have good length sessions last night and she said it could be a bit shorter …

I don’t know what she wants now and I don’t know what to do anymore. It feels like my relationship is falling apart

I haven’t slept with anyone in 10 years, and feel nothing but emptiness.

Looking for advice or suggestions on how to end the dry spell, I just wanted to get it off my chest as I have never discussed this with anyone.

I’m 35, and I haven’t had intercourse in 10 years. In general it doesn’t really bother me, and it’s not something that crosses my mind very often. But I do wonder if I’m missing out.

Do I pleasure myself? Yeah of course, but the frequency is decreasing. It was most days at one point, but now it’s once or twice a week. It just feels like a chore, and quite frankly, I talk myself out of it.

Do I want to get with someone? Meh, sounds like it’s more effort than it’s worth.

Emptiness is the only way I can describe it, as if I am lacking a basic human function. It is what it is I guess.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think you speak to a counselor and not rely on people on a social media site. A professions can get you into a better mind set . Good Luck
2. From my own experience, and listening to others speak on the topic, it seems the longer a person goes without it, the easier it is to deal with and the more that drive decreases.
3. Sending you a hug. Hoping you can get some human connection and help break you out of this spell.

Was giving SGD10,000 to bride’s parent too little?

Hi everyone

I was prepared to give SGD10,000 to my future wife’s parent. This amount includes the pin jin (translated as bride price) and price of tables (her parents will keep the red packets from the tables)

Her parents are asking for more pin jin. MIL is very unhappy and scolded her daughter for speaking up for me. MIL black face when negotiating. I not sure if I should be feeling guilty for causing this fall out.

Would appreciate some sharing on 1)) How did you nego with the other side on pin jin and table? 2) What’s the bride price and total price of tables? If you did not hold banquet table, what’s the bride price?

Edit Background: MIL asked for a price that was even higher than $10,000. After nego became $10k, and MIL is still very unhappy with $10k and pick fights with her daughter over this. I’m willing to give $10k if it keeps the peace, but it seems not the case. Which makes me wonder why MIL is making her daughter’s happy marriage become a unhappy one due to money?

Edit: I’ve noticed some comments sharing that in laws

1. will give back (huili) a large portion of the pin Jin
2. some gave gifts to the daughter and son in law
3. paid for tables and they keep the red packets

So there’s like reciprocity from both sides.

My MIL initial proposal

1. keep 99% of the pin jin. 1% return.
2. not gifting anything
3. tables I pay and she keep the red packets.

In these 3 points, MIL take, not give, and take.

Thank you.

Netizens’ comments

1. She selling daughter ah? 10k is good enough leh, some even give back a portion to help with renovation cost etc ..
2. There’s no right amount, but $10k definitely seems too much, especially when the parents are already keeping the red packets from the tables. What is your wife’s stance in this? She has to speak up so you won’t be stuck in such a difficult position.

I’m going to prison; any advice?

Hi all,

After a few months of going back and forth on my case, my sentence was finally passed recently. My deferment period is gonna be over soon and I’ll be going to prison for 7 days.

I know it’s really not long to be honest but I am feeling anxious. Everyone around me kept telling me not to make friends there or mix with the wrong crowd etc.

Is prison really that bad? I got in for a very stupid crime (don’t wanna share details cause I don’t want my identity to be known) and am from a pretty uptight family where even the idea of going to prison is a crime itself.

My parents are also the tough love kinda parents, for the first time, I saw my parents crying. I’m feeling kind of stressed out and don’t know what to expect.

Does anyone here have any advice or experience? Also, I’m female btw, so it would be helpful to have a female who worked in prison or been to prison before share their experience.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve worked with many guys who’ve been in and out of prison for stupid things – fighting, petty drug offences, alcohol and cigarette related crimes.
   For the most part men’s prison is full of immature people who lack direction in life and try to act tough and do naughty things as a way of making them feel good about themselves.
   Understandably many of them are of poor character and lack morals because of their upbringing, association, and circumstances, so definitely don’t get too close.
   Don’t act like a goody two shoes, don’t challenge anyone, try to be fair and non-hostile to the people there, expect to be treated without respect by the prison guards and don’t take things personally. Take it as a lesson learnt and endure for these few days.}
   Your bigger challenge will be dealing with your family when you’re out.
2. 7 days very fast one
   Just know no entertainment inside and probably will talk to you and ask u what crime you committed.
   Too bad you can’t see deekosh or Titus inside

A man shared how he froze while being intimate with his girlfriend due to his past trauma.

Here is the story:

yesterday I froze while being intimate with my girlfriend and she asked if we should stop, I said yes and she backed off. I’ve never been treated like this before.

I am a 23-year-old man and I’ve been raped before. Twice. I’ve been molested too and this has affected me and subsequent relationships a lot.

2 days ago my girlfriend (23) was in my lap and we were making out and suddenly the images of rape came into my mind and I froze. She obviously sensed it and asked if everything was okay but I couldn’t answer and I’d begun to sweat.

She got off my lap and asked if I wanted to talk but i still couldn’t say anything. Then she asked if she should leave the room and I gave a small nod. She just grabbed her phone from the table and left.

This has never happened with me. Nobody has listened to my no before. It feels weird, different? I don’t know.

Next morning when I woke up she had made breakfast and left me a note saying if I wanted to talk I could call her anytime.

She came over after work and I thanked her for listening to me, I was almost in tears. She welled up too and said no obviously means no, but hesitation means no too. And that she would never knowingly hurt me.

I’ve never been treated like this before. My parents were crap, and almost every relationship I’ve had (3) were also similarly crap.

But she’s different, she’s been my rock when I’ve fallen low, she cooks for me because she wants me to be healthy, she leaves notes of affirmation all over the house for me to find and is generally the most genuine amazing person I’ve ever met.

I want to show my gratitude to her and want to tell her how much she means to me but I don’t know how? Also it’s still weighing on me how my say matters to her. Never in my life have I ever been treated this way.

So how do I tell how much she means to me ? And will I stop feeling this way ?