I haven’t slept with anyone in 10 years, and feel nothing but emptiness.

Looking for advice or suggestions on how to end the dry spell, I just wanted to get it off my chest as I have never discussed this with anyone.

I’m 35, and I haven’t had intercourse in 10 years. In general it doesn’t really bother me, and it’s not something that crosses my mind very often. But I do wonder if I’m missing out.

Do I pleasure myself? Yeah of course, but the frequency is decreasing. It was most days at one point, but now it’s once or twice a week. It just feels like a chore, and quite frankly, I talk myself out of it.

Do I want to get with someone? Meh, sounds like it’s more effort than it’s worth.

Emptiness is the only way I can describe it, as if I am lacking a basic human function. It is what it is I guess.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think you speak to a counselor and not rely on people on a social media site. A professions can get you into a better mind set . Good Luck
2. From my own experience, and listening to others speak on the topic, it seems the longer a person goes without it, the easier it is to deal with and the more that drive decreases.
3. Sending you a hug. Hoping you can get some human connection and help break you out of this spell.

Was giving SGD10,000 to bride’s parent too little?

Hi everyone

I was prepared to give SGD10,000 to my future wife’s parent. This amount includes the pin jin (translated as bride price) and price of tables (her parents will keep the red packets from the tables)

Her parents are asking for more pin jin. MIL is very unhappy and scolded her daughter for speaking up for me. MIL black face when negotiating. I not sure if I should be feeling guilty for causing this fall out.

Would appreciate some sharing on 1)) How did you nego with the other side on pin jin and table? 2) What’s the bride price and total price of tables? If you did not hold banquet table, what’s the bride price?

Edit Background: MIL asked for a price that was even higher than $10,000. After nego became $10k, and MIL is still very unhappy with $10k and pick fights with her daughter over this. I’m willing to give $10k if it keeps the peace, but it seems not the case. Which makes me wonder why MIL is making her daughter’s happy marriage become a unhappy one due to money?

Edit: I’ve noticed some comments sharing that in laws

1. will give back (huili) a large portion of the pin Jin
2. some gave gifts to the daughter and son in law
3. paid for tables and they keep the red packets

So there’s like reciprocity from both sides.

My MIL initial proposal

1. keep 99% of the pin jin. 1% return.
2. not gifting anything
3. tables I pay and she keep the red packets.

In these 3 points, MIL take, not give, and take.

Thank you.

Netizens’ comments

1. She selling daughter ah? 10k is good enough leh, some even give back a portion to help with renovation cost etc ..
2. There’s no right amount, but $10k definitely seems too much, especially when the parents are already keeping the red packets from the tables. What is your wife’s stance in this? She has to speak up so you won’t be stuck in such a difficult position.

I’m going to prison; any advice?

Hi all,

After a few months of going back and forth on my case, my sentence was finally passed recently. My deferment period is gonna be over soon and I’ll be going to prison for 7 days.

I know it’s really not long to be honest but I am feeling anxious. Everyone around me kept telling me not to make friends there or mix with the wrong crowd etc.

Is prison really that bad? I got in for a very stupid crime (don’t wanna share details cause I don’t want my identity to be known) and am from a pretty uptight family where even the idea of going to prison is a crime itself.

My parents are also the tough love kinda parents, for the first time, I saw my parents crying. I’m feeling kind of stressed out and don’t know what to expect.

Does anyone here have any advice or experience? Also, I’m female btw, so it would be helpful to have a female who worked in prison or been to prison before share their experience.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve worked with many guys who’ve been in and out of prison for stupid things – fighting, petty drug offences, alcohol and cigarette related crimes.
   For the most part men’s prison is full of immature people who lack direction in life and try to act tough and do naughty things as a way of making them feel good about themselves.
   Understandably many of them are of poor character and lack morals because of their upbringing, association, and circumstances, so definitely don’t get too close.
   Don’t act like a goody two shoes, don’t challenge anyone, try to be fair and non-hostile to the people there, expect to be treated without respect by the prison guards and don’t take things personally. Take it as a lesson learnt and endure for these few days.}
   Your bigger challenge will be dealing with your family when you’re out.
2. 7 days very fast one
   Just know no entertainment inside and probably will talk to you and ask u what crime you committed.
   Too bad you can’t see deekosh or Titus inside

A man shared how he froze while being intimate with his girlfriend due to his past trauma.

Here is the story:

yesterday I froze while being intimate with my girlfriend and she asked if we should stop, I said yes and she backed off. I’ve never been treated like this before.

I am a 23-year-old man and I’ve been raped before. Twice. I’ve been molested too and this has affected me and subsequent relationships a lot.

2 days ago my girlfriend (23) was in my lap and we were making out and suddenly the images of rape came into my mind and I froze. She obviously sensed it and asked if everything was okay but I couldn’t answer and I’d begun to sweat.

She got off my lap and asked if I wanted to talk but i still couldn’t say anything. Then she asked if she should leave the room and I gave a small nod. She just grabbed her phone from the table and left.

This has never happened with me. Nobody has listened to my no before. It feels weird, different? I don’t know.

Next morning when I woke up she had made breakfast and left me a note saying if I wanted to talk I could call her anytime.

She came over after work and I thanked her for listening to me, I was almost in tears. She welled up too and said no obviously means no, but hesitation means no too. And that she would never knowingly hurt me.

I’ve never been treated like this before. My parents were crap, and almost every relationship I’ve had (3) were also similarly crap.

But she’s different, she’s been my rock when I’ve fallen low, she cooks for me because she wants me to be healthy, she leaves notes of affirmation all over the house for me to find and is generally the most genuine amazing person I’ve ever met.

I want to show my gratitude to her and want to tell her how much she means to me but I don’t know how? Also it’s still weighing on me how my say matters to her. Never in my life have I ever been treated this way.

So how do I tell how much she means to me ? And will I stop feeling this way ?

How to get my bf to listen to me when we are f-ing

I (19f) for the most part enjoy sleeping with my boyfriend (20m). He knows what I like and always makes sure that I’ve had enough foreplay to get started.

However, we never have short sessions. He always drags it on for at least 2 hrs. He’s indifferent, so when we sleep together, it’s purely for my own pleasure. Though he has mentioned that he finds my reactions “entertaining” to observe.

The main issue is, that after a certain amount of time I’m oversensitive. The smallest movement feels incredibly overwhelming. It’s driven me to tears multiple times. Nevertheless, he keeps f-ing me.

Usually I try asking him to stop after I’ve finished coming in bed. But he keeps making me come until I’m overwhelmed and start crying

He doesn’t listen when I tell him he’s in too deep. He actively begins f-ing me harder if I complain. Which is incredibly discouraging.

I’ve tried talking to him about it outside of the bedroom. I’ve even used his own sensitive places (i.e his nipples) against him, to try and show him how overwhelming it can be, but he doesn’t see the issue.

According to him it’s not an issue because I’m enjoying myself. Which I am to a certain extent. But should my pleasure negate the pain I’m experiencing? He genuinely doesn’t see the issue.

I love him. I really do. So I couldn’t imagine breaking up with him over this. But I’m out of ideas. What should I do?

Netizens’ comments

1. You really need to think, does the fact you love him mean that he can hurt you? I’m sorry but I don’t think he loves you, I think he is getting joy out of hurting you
2. “Enjoying your reactions”
   This is because he is a sadist, that in its self when discussed within boundaries that both partners are happy with is fine.

A netizen shared how hs is attracted to pregnant women.

Here is the story:

“Im a 23 year old male who is very attracted to pregnant women and I also have a breeding fetish.

So although I defiantly want to become a father someday (Children are awesome!) but I get so turned on by pregnant women and post pregnancy bodies.

However, When I see a pregnant woman I like to imagine that she is carrying my child instead.

When I see a woman that Im attracted to I usually think to myself “We would make nice babies” or I would vision her carrying my child.

Mombods are hot as well and all this crap about “Women hitting the wall at 30” Get outta here, Your ugliness hit the wall as soon as you came out of your mothers walls!

Another thing is that I hear men being scared of being baby trapped but A woman can baby trap me all she likes.

Keep poking holes in those condoms cause I want to knock you up and raise kids anyway”

I just need to vent a bit as i can’t say this in front of them. My Great Grandad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer back in January 2021 and for around 7 months he was doing great you wouldn’t even be able to tell he had cancer then he took a turn for the worst after my grandad told him he had cancer.

so my family had tried to spend as much time as we could with him (me and my mum) then the rest of the family started to organise days out to make and create long lasting memories but didn’t invite us

(i’m not saying they should feel forced to, but when the reason there all going out was to spend time w my granda it’s understandable to be pissed)

but they continued doing this depriving me and my mother from spending time with him as when he got back he would nap as he was exhausted.

When he got even worse my granny put him into hospital a few days and we all had allocated slots to visit him, So me my mum and my granny went up to only run into my aunt and cousin they mentioned they’d been there for six hours and by the time we went in there he was exhausted even for his own wife(only allowed to visit before meals)

and don’t get wrong i completely understand visiting him but when he’s too tired for his own wife because of them it’s a bit far.

They went up to their house every single day exhausting him.

When he passed in September they stopped visiting as much. it just makes me feel bad for my granny it just made it look like their only there for granda. there so selfish and i just can’t stand them.

A netizen shared a story thinking if he should send the following letter to his friend’s sister/mother as he is trying to save him from a foreign woman who is using him as a walking ATM.

Here is the story:

Hi,

I would like to inform you of a very sad message about your brother, he has been giving up to $1000 monthly to his Vietnam prostitute girlfriend and he has been lying to your whole family. I know that this message will spoil my relationship with him, but it’s ok, it’s for his greater good and his future of him.

As this is not the first incident and I have known him for more than 10 years. He even took a lump sum from him to start her clothing business and there was no return of investment.

He has left us no choice but to reveal the truth to his family. I sincerely hope that your parents can step in and stop him from being a total retard and send money to a woman that he meets less than 5 times a year, she constantly threatens him if he does not send money or buy her gifts such as the iPhone and apple watch. If you take a look at her Facebook she constantly lives in a life of luxury.

Imagine after she gets married to him, I believe the next target would not be just his salary.
This is not a joke, we have constantly reminded and advised him that love that is bought with money is not love, this is known as a deal or sounding cruder it is called prostitution. He met her in a disco and he bought her “attention” with tips and flowers.

2nd Girl:

His ex-girlfriend that he met in Malaysia is a prostitute that works as a masseur/prostitute in Johor Bahru and once send over $1,000 after he met her a couple of times due to a fake sob story she gave him. He has a habit that any girl that is willing to sleep with him for a small “token” is love.

Every month he tells me he does not have money, he told us he only give $300 only, but after we probe him more he revealed that he is giving more. He is currently a part-time employee at my company and I am reluctant to give him his salary, I feel like giving the salary to your mother to keep it for him as Im worried that the salary would end up in Ho Chi Min City.

Back then when I was still classmates with him, and a few of our friends failed to stop him, it has been 10 years. We need to stop him now before it is too late. We

I’ve been with my boyfriend for less than a year, and I’m studying in NUS (1st year) and his in UTM (Johor, final year), so we can only meet on fortnightly. Looking back, when we first started dating, he used to seize every opportunity to show affection. Even for short duration, he was always enthusiastic to do it. I will attempt to meet his requests, even during my menstrual period.

However, a few months ago, my boyfriend stopped being intimate with me. Even during outings and overnight stays, nothing happened between us.

I’ve tried initiating a few times, but I’ve either been rejected or brushed off. I’ve raised the issue with him several times, but it hasn’t led to any significant changes.

I don’t believe that being together necessarily requires a physical relationship, and I don’t consider myself to have strong desires.

However, this sudden change makes it difficult for me not to think negatively, questioning if he still loves me, and so on.

His explanations are inconsistent each time, making it hard for me to be convinced. On one occasion, I accidentally discovered that he regularly watches adult content on his laptop indicating that he does have desires but not towards me.

He treats me well, and our relationship is generally close. We video chat every day, but he tends to avoid S topics and intimate actions like changing, bathing etc.

Additionally, he sometimes struggles to maintain an er*****n, and I’m unsure if that could be affecting his libi**. Prior to that, he can have at least double shots, and occasionally even up to a third shot.

However, I’m hesitant to ask, fearing it might hurt his self-esteem.

I’ve already brought up the issue several times, and I don’t want to ask him again. It makes me feel low and as if I have excessive desires. Despite being in a semi-long-distance relationship, is it normal for things to get monotonous so quickly?

He is my initial love, and I have wholeheartedly given him everything. He also pledged to marry me after he graduates and referred to me as “老婆”. I’d like to hear the opinions of other women. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and sometimes it makes me want to cry.

I’ve had a girlfriend for nearing 5 years now, I love her and her family, we gave each other most of our firsts, I imagined myself marrying her sooner or later.

I met my best friend about a year ago, I’ve never had single romantic thought about her, but when she hinted that she had something happening between her and some other guy, I felt like my heart was torn apart.

I know there can’t, won’t be anything between us, but it’s crushing me all the same because if I tell either of the two people I want to talk to most about this, I’ll lose at least one of them. So I tell it to the reddit void, knowing they’ll probably both see it but not know.

Here are what netizens think:

• My wife is my best friend tbh.. if your girlfriend ain’t it just be honest with her.

• You might lose one but time heals all wounds. I told a friend about my crush on them and they didn’t talk to me for a year. Straight left on read. I apologized that I made things weird and we’ve been talking, but I’m happy to hear about them being stoked on their new partner! I’m genuinely happy for them. All my best to you. It’s our only life, better live it up.

• Forcing yourself to love someone will never feel lime genuine love. Pretending never works.

• Usually, falling in love during a relationship can mean that something (or more) is lacking in your current relationship. Try to evaluate what that is and talk to your partner about it eventually. Couples therapy for situations like these (one partner having a crush/feelings) really help to understand how to proceed.

• It’s pretty obvious that after 5 years with your gf, things are starting to get boring and you are seeking an alternative route of freshness.