So my brother in law moved in with us last year in July. Our agreement was to allow him to live here for a couple months so he could save to get his own place.

Not only has it been over a year but he is kinda inconsiderate. He eats everything, doesn’t clean, doesn’t contribute any money(so he could “save”).

He also smokes in the house which was allowed when he first moved in but then I got pregnant so we sat him down and said hey no more smoking inside.

Anyway back to the point. My husband asked him how much he had saved so that he could help pitch in if needed because we live in a 2 bed room and babies take up space.

He refuses to tell him what he has saved and anytime we try to show him apartments or homes for rent he brushes it off.

I got fed up yesterday because 2 whole bags of pizza rolls were gone that I bought that day.

I may have done it out of anger but I told him he had till the end of the year to find a place and move out. My husband is on my side but his family is telling me I’m being rude and that we invited him into our home we can’t just kick him out because we had a kid.

Edit Just to clear things up. Yes he is an adult and he has a job. My daughter was born this October which is why my husband and I really are putting our foot down.

I’m spending my 30th birthday alone

Not intentionally, but I don’t have anyone. I was already feeling self conscious about turning 30 and the lack of anything I’ve done with my life and constant failures. My spouse is still in jail.

I lost contact with all of my friends after graduating school and the one time I reached out to them I was told to piss off.

I’ve never been good at making new friends ( I’ve been told I’m a weird, awkward extrovert. ) I was fine with not having friends because I had my spouse until this recent nonsense.

My son is in bed and I’m sitting here in an old chair watching my favorite movie ( Titanic ) and I don’t even have a beer to keep me company.

Just my thoughts about everything I’ve failed at in life: I was never able to drive thanks to epilepsy, goodbye my dreams of becoming a paleontologist, so long money, traveling, publishing a book.

I desperately want / need to cry, but it’s stuck in my throat and the tears just won’t come. I feel so stuck, helpless, and more than anything, alone.

Happy 30th birthday to me.

Is anyone feeling Grab fees are now permanently at surge levels?

I have been taking Grab and Gojek somewhat regularly and notice what used to $20 for a cross island ride now regularly hovers at $30 to $40, for the new surge is hitting as high as $60.

I’m not sure whether is because is due to the holiday season that is are maybe less drivers, more demand or inflation is hitting us now or Grab/Gojek is using this opportunities to increase their revenue.

This new surge is same on the weekends/weekdays

Netizens’ comments

• Tada, comfort, rent your own car, public transport
• If you Grab more than twice a day, and do so daily, consider getting a car instead.
• It was always going to be this way. Once they have us in their pocket, time for greed
• Take comfort lor or public transport
• If you are the CEO of Grab, wouldn’t you do the same? Be greedy. Or are you so saint like and would continue to provide “fair” pricing?

Husband wants the house cleaned and dinner cooked by the time he gets home from work

So I (25F) am currently working from home for a call center, I work 9-5 non-stop on the phone from the time I clock in to the time I clock out with 2 10 minute breaks.

I also have both of our children (4&7months) home with me during the day so I stay completely busy.

My husband (26M) works a physically demanding job from 8-5, and I understand he is tired when he gets home but he doesn’t want to help with making dinner (he can’t cook so I never ask him to anyway) and he expects me to clean up all the messes from the kids & clean up from dinner.

He doesn’t expect a “spotless” house but he says I need to do better and keep the house cleaned since he works and I “stay home all day” .

He does help with putting the kids to bed but please tell me if I am being TA for asking he help out more with the cleaning and keeping the house up?

Unlike most men…

Unlike most men, I am not career driven or ambitious. I am content to just make enough for myself. I am tired of this rat race and I want to focus on enjoying things I like in life.

In terms of looking for a life partner, I prefer it if a woman can take care of herself instead of relying me. And we can enjoy each other’s company. Honestly, I don’t want to have kids. If I have the money I would much rather use it on myself than kids – there are many things I haven’t done or experienced myself.

In the past, I was honest during dates. However, after sharing my views, women usually don’t want to have much to do with my after. Somehow they equate my lack of willingness to take care of them (especially as they’re completely able to do so themselves) as being irresponsible or selfish.

Instead, I think I am more of a feminist than anyone as I firmly believe that women in Singapore are more than able to take care of themselves.

Nowadays, instead of being overly honest, because women are so into romance and K-drama, I do promise the world.

The funny thing is many women are extremely capable of taking themselves and others. When it comes down to it, despite whatever promises, they’re capable of carrying their own weights and even take care of others like men, in laws, children and so on.

My advice for men is to not be too honest. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong in this. Being too honest is like going for dates without make up or dressing up. It’s not a good start and certainly will not end well!

Here are what netizens think:

• I read not even halfway i gave up pls stay single .. dont destroy other parents daughters

• I agree with you that you can’t be too honest especially to ladies but that doesn’t mean that you should lie to them. Instead you need to have a filter and know what to say and what not to say. During the dating phase, the girl will judge you to see if you are the right partner for her. Unfortunately as a guy, guys are known to be a “provider”, I know it’s unfair to guys sometimes when ladies expect u to keep on providing for them but not all ladies are like that. There are some independent ladies out there too. Usually the prettier the girl, the more demanding and the more they expect you to provide for them. Simply because pretty girls tend to attract a lot of high quality men so their expectation will be higher. Hope this helps!

• They are not rejecting you because you are honest, consider other qualities you have that might be a turn off. From the way you write you seem like a very boring and non charismatic person. Every girl ends up taking care of herself and possibly kids and or husband, they are not pets.

I pressured him too much about sleeping with me and now he wants to leave

I really messed up. We were long distance for a year and now are together. I (38F) am insanely attracted to him(38M) and want to sleep with him all of the time. His libido is not the same.

I’ve made comments that to me were in jest but were really hurting him. I swear, I would never intentionally hurt him but he thinks I was.

He says my apologies mean nothing. And he hates when I cry when I was the one who was wrong. So what do I do now? How do I fix this?

Edit: I realize there is no way to come back from this and what I did is far from ok. I’m not going to ask him to stay, he deserves better. I cried for 2 hrs at work and he got even more angry when he saw I had been crying. Thanks everyone

Netizens’ comments

• What to you is a compliment to him (that you want him all the time ) has to him become something of a burden of expectation . Try starting right from scratch again like you were first dating and rediscover what was so good without any pressure on one another . There sounds a lot of good here that would be a shame to lose .
• You need to accept that you might not be able to fix this. You’ve been making these thoughtless comments for who knows how long without noticing how much it’s been hurting him, and thats shown him that his feelings are not a priority to you. If its come to the point where he has had to physically point out how hurtful you have been, anything you could do at this stage might be too little too late, and you need to come to terms with that, and the fact that that’s on you. Coercion is never okay and its never a joke.
• Don’t fix it; let it go. You’re not compatible and you’re not going to BECOME compatible. You’ll be sexually frustrated and walking on eggshells with him forever. Go find someone who wants intimacy as much as you do.

I think I raped my boyfriend and don’t know how to talk to him

He might think I’m a loose woman after drinking a few, and now his response make me feel like I violated him.

What should I do?

My sister and I both met a guy on a night out. He was very drunk at the time and kept saying he found my sister very attractive.

I met him a couple of weeks later (without my sister) and egged him on to go for her, but apart from that we had a good conversation and got on well together.