Do you have friends that like just suddenly have an exponential growth stage out of nowhere?

This guy I knew in sec school was the definition of stupid and lazy, didn’t do homework, didn’t do any studying, pulled his own weight in projects but that was it.

Ended up not doing so well for O levels for my school’s standards, and went to some obscure neighborhood JC. He was one of those people you either loved or hated and basically that was the class verdict on him, half of them liked him and half of us didn’t at all.

So like obviously I don’t think about him the next few years because I’m also in JC and then army and then Uni, so like I heard about him during army from a couple of my friends and it seemed that he didn’t do well enough to make it into local uni. And yeah that was it for a long time.

Then today I meet a junior who tells me that his (my junior’s) classmate is in the same… idk lab group? (sry marketing major, don’t understand science organization) as this friend of mine. And apparently he graduated (somehow) from NUS with a FCH.

Is that even fair?

How did he even get in? You all know how hard it is to get As in uni and this guy can get As reliably? If he was in marketing or arts or something that wasn’t obviously so science I’d question it less but this is like… engineering and sciences. He wasn’t even good at science and didn’t even pass math.

He’s not even from a branded JC leh, and you see all these branded JC kids finding it hard to get FCH then this guy casually can’t even make it in JC and secondary but all of a sudden FCH. I don’t get it lol it’s not like he worked hard during uni.

(25M) (26F) My fwb wants me to be his gf, under the condition that i lose weight
So i’ve been sleeping with this guy for like a year and i’ve pretty much fallen for him. He has always treated me well, with much patience, love and respect. The whole thing really felt like a relationship, the only thing missing was the title.

In the beginning he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship because of his abusive ex. Today he confessed that loves me and thinks i’m the best woman he knows and would like to be in a relationship with me, but he is not attracted to me. The tl;dr is basically: in the beginning he was in it just to get his D wet, then he fell for my “personality”, so he thought the love he had for me would be enough and he would grow to love my body too, but he can’t.

The thing i’m most upset about is that he waited so long to tell me that my weight bothered him. It never felt like an issue. He never put me down for it, it never came up. I always felt loved and accepted.

I am overweight. (167cm,95kg) I wish i was confident enough to be like “f him i’m perfect” but i’m also not the happiest about my current weight. He does not have some unrealistic expectations of me being a skinny model, he just wants me to be “healthier”

I’m not really sure what to do. Should i lose the weight and be with him? Is he an a-hole, am i looking at this through rose colored glasses because of my love for him? Should i end it all?

Thanks in advance for the comments.

Cny is coming and honestly although it’s supposed to be a festival where families gather together it’s very dreadful for me.

As compared to my older brother who is more cheerful, smart, popular and handsome. I am the exact opposite (quiet and awkward). So I grew up with my aunties comparing both my brother and I , with many criticisms directed at me.. not as handsome, not as smart, why so short. As my patents always told me that it’s important to maintain harmony I always put up with all these criticisms.

Last year before cny bro and I both got attached and his gf is a model so she’s really good looking in society standard. My gf on the other hand is more of the normal looking in society standards (ofc to me in my heart she’s the best and prettiest). As we just started dating last year I did not bring her back for cny.. (she felt that it was too soon), my bro on the other hand brought his gf back and got many praises .. Woww gf pretty, rich etc

This year I plan to bring my gf back but overheard one of my relative telling my mother : “eh this year your small son bringing gf back.. how is she like? Prettier than bigger son gf? I want to compare leh..”

As I grew up being compared to my elder bro, I know the feeling of being compared .. it’s really very hurtful and I do not want my gf to be subjected to that treatment . I know my gf will be very hurt as well .. As such I’m wondering in order to protect her should I just not bring her to cny this year as well?

any advice?

I really hate those relatives during cny.. it’s a festival meant for everyone to gather not gossip.

screw the selfish parents.

For all the young adults who have similar type of parents that demand for money.

Your parents are adults too and have been adults far longer than us, if they don’t contribute their fair share in the relationship emotionally, physically then it’s time to cut them out.

It’s not our responsibility to make sure they can retire

It doesn’t makes any sense that I work my ass off 9-5 + OT, contribute the fillial money($1.2k out of $4k), just to go home where my only interaction with my parents is being scolded for not doing enough chores when I have always done my fair share. Even worse is scolded by a fulltime housewife… who do a max 3hours of chores a day then slack off for the rest of the day finishing a TV series every two to three days. I even confronted them about their behavior but they wouldn’t listen with the entitled snobbish attitudes. It was too ridiculous for me..so I left immediately when I got married and got my HDB and never paid or contacted them ever again.

So much happier now.

Here are what netizens think:

• Wow! Did the full time housewife raise you when you were needy? Without your so-called selfish parents’ CONTRIBUTION to YOUR life in the earlier years, where would you be? You probably thought since they gave birth to you, it is THEIR responsibility and your ENTITLEMENT to be raised without a need to repay in kindness and gratitude. Thankfully, there are more grateful children out there with a conscience. Young people like you better not have children.

• I understand OP. Imagine already contributing filial money and still be scolded for not being enough. Ya’ll can say everything about being ungrateful and such but that’s because your parents treat you differently than how they treat her. It’s tiring when you come home and all you hear is yelling. Children don’t choose to be born in this world. Parents shouldn’t make their kids be their retirement plan. Here, I still see other people working their ass off til 70. Both parties should just be grateful for what they can put on the table. Yes, it’s a shame how the relationship turned out to be. But if OP is happier, we can’t really blame her for it. When doing otherwise, comes with more problems, yelling, affecting her own family and not being peaceful.

• Fulltime housewife is no joke lei. Full time housewife and taitai got differences. Full time mother is like maid to everyone in the family. I don’t even have to be a full time housewife to know such simple common sense things.

Traffic flow through Woodlands and Tuas Checkpoints has returned to pre-COVID-19 levels during peak hours. During the year-end holiday season in 2022, more than one million travellers passed through both land checkpoints, with about 361,000 crossing daily.

There were several instances of extremely heavy departure traffic on the BKE towards Woodlands Checkpoint due to tailbacks from the Causeway.

During the peak of Lunar New Year period in 2019, the average waiting time for travellers departing or arriving by car via the land checkpoints was about three hours. ICA anticipates continuous heavy traffic at both land checkpoints with the upcoming Lunar New Year holidays and tailbacks are also expected from Malaysia. 

Those who wish to depart via the land checkpoints by car or bus to Malaysia between 16 January and 20 January 2023, are advised to factor in additional time for immigration clearance.

Things to note for a smoother journey

Before embarking on their journey, motorists are advised to check the traffic situation at the land checkpoints through the Land Transport Authority (LTA)’s One Motoring website or via the Expressway Monitoring & Advisory System installed along the BKE and AYE. Motorists can also get updates through ICA’s Facebook and Twitter accounts, as well as local radio broadcasts on Money 89.3, Kiss92, One 91.3, Hao 96.3, UFM 100.3.

Motorists are also reminded to avoid queue cutting as it can cause severe congestion and compromise the safety of other motorists. They are advised to observe traffic rules, maintain lane discipline, and cooperate with officers on-site. ICA works closely with Traffic Police to ensure road discipline at the critical junctions leading to the land checkpoints.

Travellers by bus who are eligible to use the automated lanes at the passenger halls are encouraged to do so.

Travellers are reminded to note the following:

They should ensure their passport has a remaining validity of at least six months.

ii) Singapore permanent residents who have renewed their passport will have to transfer their Re-Entry Permit to the new passport.

Long-term pass holders, who include Employment Pass holders, S pass holders, Work Permit holders, Student’s Pass holders, Long-Term Visit Pass holders and Dependant’s Pass holders, will need to notify ICA or the Ministry of Manpower of any change in their passport particulars.

All short-term visitors, including holders of in-principle approval for long-term pass, are required to submit their Singapore Arrival Card (SGAC)^[1] with health declaration^[2] within three days prior to their arrival in Singapore. Due to the high volume of traffic and daily commuting for employment and studies, Singapore residents (Singapore citizens, permanent residents and long-term pass holders) are exempted from submitting a health declaration if they are returning to Singapore via the land checkpoints. They will have to do so if they enter Singapore via the sea and air checkpoints. Travellers are strongly encouraged to submit the SG Arrival Card via the MyICA Mobile application to avoid being misled by commercial entities and websites providing such services for a fee. Those who use the MyICA Mobile application can create and store their profile for subsequent trips. Singapore residents will also have the information of their profile auto populated from ICA database. With the profile created, travellers will just need to update their trip details and health declaration for subsequent trips.

Drivers of foreign-registered vehicles entering Singapore must have a valid Vehicle Entry Permit, the LTA approval email, and an Autopass card.

Comply with other requirements

Travellers should not bring in prohibited items such as firecrackers, “Pop-Pop”, weapons, imitation tobacco products (electronics cigarettes, vaporisers) or controlled items such as ‘bak kwa’, eggs and potted plants.  Those bringing in dutiable or controlled items such as tobacco products must proactively declare them to our officers prior to being checked.

Departing travellers driving Singapore-registered cars are reminded to observe the “three-quarter tank” rule. Offenders may be issued with a composition sum of up to $500 or prosecuted in court. They will be turned back at the checkpoints, and not allowed to proceed with their journey into Malaysia.

Clearance efficiency without compromising security

10.         ICA will continue to facilitate immigration clearance without compromising security. We seek travellers’ understanding and cooperation to be patient, observe traffic rules, maintain lane discipline, and cooperate with officers on-site when using the land checkpoints.

Tired of living

Typing this with a heavy heart. Because I’m getting very close to ending my life.

Have u met someone, who u tot, wow this guy is totally unlikable and he’s really making me mad. Just by talking to him for a minute.

I am that guy. And for many decades, literally from kindergarten, till my adulthood I have always been disliked till the extend of being assaulted even in NS.

I crave friends, but I literally have only 1, and that’s because I did an experiment : Where I tried very hard to never disagree with him.

Recently out of a relationship I tot would be forever. And its definitely due to my personality.

And I simply cannot live like this anymore. I can’t keep faking.

Netizens’ comments

• Focus on building up yourself, knowing your likes and dislikes, preparing for financial freedom. Relationships can come later when you are and feel ready. As for friends, just know people bit by bit and you’ll realise that almost everyone is dealing with their personal issues. Who’s willing to walk with you and you being willing to walk with them shall reveal the friendships meant for you.
• Hi OP, life is hard! Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if there is a need to. You sound like you are still really young and have a whole life ahead of you. I am sure that things will get better with time, as long as you are committed to working on yourself and creating new bonds. Don’t give up, your life is as precious as anyone’s else. Jiayous!
• let me guess. u r the type that want to always have the last say, expect everything to go your way, u cannot stand ppl that disagree with you. you will question everything that does not fit your own ideals n narration. your behavior is so extreme tht literally no one wants to talk to you anymore. If this is the case, then i suggest u seek help. Seek a psy. See how they can help u improve your social skills.
• U need to stop seeking ppl’s approval and reprioritise the ppl/things in your life , if anyone isnt making u their priority, do not make them become yours
• Do u hv family to talk to? All frds come and go… when they start a family, they wil hv no time to keep in touch eventually

Should I continue or not?

I was working on a project with a group of colleagues. After some times, I realised that I was drawn to one of them.

It is really comfortable working with him. We also talk quite often on personal stuffs offline.

On one occasion (I can’t rem the context), I told him that I am not interested in him. But this is to avoid scaring him.

Now, I realised that I am always the one who initiated any conversation. His reply is often short. But he will share his personal matters with me at times. It seem to me that he see me as a friend.

It has been going on for a while. It is not moving forward. Overall, I think he is not interested.

Should I continue trying out? If yes, what should I do?

Netizens’ Comments

• I’m a female and I can’t understand what some females are up to, when they really want a YES but they say NO. The guy you are interested in is probably getting mixed signals from you. Even if he was mildly interested, he would be confused and is holding back.
• Kiss him and you will know the answer immediately.
• So you told him you weren’t interested when you were and now he’s avoiding you but you want his attention. What exactly is it that you want??
• Ask him out for a one-to-one dinner if he’s still single. If he accepts, you can try to clarify over dinner. If he rejects, you have your answer.

Marriage Advice

In a reply to a lady whose husband has been hiding and deleting his telegram chats, a netizen who has been a victim of her partner’s infidelity for 11 years gave her thoughts.

Hey lady, not trying to burst your bubble but if your husband is hiding and deleting telegram chats, he probably is having a fling with his colleague behind your back.

I came across such a person (also married for 7 years). He claims he wasn’t happy in his marriage (that’s what cheating men say don’t they, when they wanna get some😏) as they are intellectually not on the same level, and more (which I’m not gonna elaborate).

He also keeps our telegram chats a secret and mute the notifications as he said that his wife would not be able to take his explanation if she were to find out and all hell will break loose (who wouldn’t?). But that’s besides the point.

What I’m trying to say here is, if there are red flags in your marriage, don’t second-guess yourself and make excuses for him.

Confront and ask for clarification. And then, start making plans to be self-reliant, for yourself and kids (if you have any).

The truth will eventually surface one day and when the day comes and if it is indeed true, you can leave him without having to think that you still need to depend on him for financial support (or financially support your kids).

Lastly, don’t forget to pray to god for guidance and mercy, and to show you the truth.

Take care lady, and stay strong.

From a woman who’s been cheated on by her husband of 11 years.

Recap

A boyfriend who probably doesn’t love me

I have been my boyfriend for 6 years, spanning across my late 20s and now near-mid-30s. Pretty much my prime time.

I thought we were going to get married because we talked about it and even went through house renovation together.

But recently, I realised that he probably doesn’t love me even though he says he does.

He made a “promise” to my parents that he would ask for marriage within 3-5 years, told me several times that “it’s coming” but obviously it didn’t came.

He lied that he had bought the ring but couldn’t find the right timing because of my “timely questioning” that ruined surprises, when he barely even selected a ring, let alone buying it.

And now he drops the bomb that he doesn’t feel physically attracted to me anymore because we don’t have s- (I abstained from pre-marital s- and I informed him right when he asked me to be gf, told him to think carefully before committing).

He thinks that while everything between a couple is important, so is s-. If the s- is not right, everything else cannot be “perfect”.

So from how I see it, basically he’s saying that no test drive, no consideration of purchase. Even with test drive, no guarantee of purchase.

I feel like I’ve been played for the past 6 years and I’m now in my mid-30s. I feel foolish for loving a guy for so long who actually doesn’t love me.

I’m now way past the prime age and now an old hag.

Will I still be able to find somebody who is willing to love me for who I am, beyond just physical, get married and be happy in this superficial world where only young girls are in demand?

I seriously feel so lost and depressed.