The possibility of staying with MIL

Hi all, would like to seek some advice regarding my situation.

I am staying with my spouse in our own apartment as we both agreed on not having either of our family members to stay with us. However, my spouse has recently brought up the possibility of having their mother to stay with us because she is a single mother who is living alone.

While I am able to empathise with my spouse, I am also hesitant and reluctant to have my privacy taken away. Being unable to feel comfortable in my own space is really sad. Reading so many horror stories of staying together with the MIL further affirms my stand of not wanting my MIL to live with us.

I have voiced out my thoughts and my spouse is not very happy about it, obviously. Somehow, I can’t help but feel that it is unfair on my part to have to accept this change in the near future.

Other suggestions provided are: to visit the MIL more frequently, to engage a helper to help out with house chores and to inform us if anything happens when we are not around, have the other siblings play a part in this as well.

While it has yet to happen, my MIL has also been dropping hints on moving in with us. I am really at a loss. What can I do to make this situation better for everyone?

Thanks for reading.

‘Client makes a move on me

I have a client who is very rich and drives nice cars. However, despite his wealth, he had to “buy” a Vietnamese wife.

There are in my view a few reasons to this. He is honestly quite horrendous looking. He also has an equally ugly personality and very inflated ego.

Anyway, recently he tried to make a move on me. Told me that his wife wouldn’t mind and in fact she’s close friends with all his female friends.

Said that the wife understood that she needed to be okay with all of these because it was not a marriage of love.

They have one kid together.

I am very weirded out and to be honest disgusted. And slightly offended that he made a move on me thinking I’d be okay with it all.

Netizens’ comments

The fact that you post here, you are already considering. Though inside out he’s ugly, but money n nice car are attractive. You won’t lose out and beggars can’t be choosers!

And you must have given him the impression that you are available otherwise he won’t make the move on you. If you are not considering and find it offensive, why bother to make this post 

Any ladies looking of a husband because I want a divorce

I hv been married for many years; due to difference in values & background; patience & love is totally exhausted out, what is left wz are family commitment tt legally binds us 2gether.

I want a divorce; he does not. So the only way 4 him to agree to it is for him to get a new wife. Looking for ladies out there who needs a husband (for whatever reasons).

Maybe we can collaborate, you get the guy, I get my son. (And yes, I am serious abt it)

Netizens’ comments

1. Refundable if expectations not met? 2nd hand stuffs shouldn’t be posted here lah.
2. Got pic bo? Asking for a friend.
3. You put up a carousel item ba. Need photo of face, body with clothes and in swimming trunks only. Then need height and weight and length and girth. And then annual income how much etc. If not good who wants sia. Tons of unwanted guys out in the market, you wanna sell second hand need to attract ppl ma
4. Got warranty or free look period?
5. Still under warranty? Got original receipt?
6. Can I provide you with my ex wife’s contact?
7. You can give him another woman provided he is game. Otherwise you’re wasting your time. Any party in a marriage can get sick of it after many years but do nothing about it. They’re together biz they are “committed” etc etc! Quite bull.
8. As any sales and collaboration need a visual sample of prospect, will u be kind to provide such for our load of potential clients. At least show a pic of u / ur outcast product so that they know this is genuine and not a scam..

Mother in-law not happy that I don’t work

Just seeking an advice from all married couples here.

I am currently living with my in laws and my husband. My husband is malaysian and I am Singaporean. Due to my liver disease, low blood sugar and unstable health, I can only work part time (2-3 days in SG), the rest of the days I am staying in Johor.

Lately my MIL have been starting to mind that i don’t have a full time job and only staying home to do housework. Earlier just a few mins ago, she said it quite nastily that I only know how to feed on my husband like a worm. She say I expect my husband to pay for everything in the house. I do give both in laws their allowance, on top of that I also have to give my parents in Singapore their allowance, while I am only earning like 700-800 per month. To be honest I do not have savings, because of giving allowance.

These days I wash my husband’s clothes and ironed them. My mil said I stole her job. The same thing happened last night when I cooked for my husband.

MIL have openly said that she prefers the other daughter in law, my husband’s brother’s wife. She said she is pregnant with her grandson and working full time 6 days earning RM2000. My husband and I have no plans to have children.

I will like to ask, so being sick and unhealthy is also my fault? There were times I fainted at work, and woke up either at KTPH or TTSH. I do not know how to find a full time job given a body like mine. I have also friends in Singapore whom mentioned I am just feeding on my husband, slack at home and do nothing.

Should I complain about my mil to my husband? I do not want my husband to get sandwiched btw him and his mum. My husband have plans to buy a house after chinese new year. The thoughts of my husband is he doesn’t want me to get a full time job, he only want me to be a housewife. He is doing quite well near to 5 digits per month.

Appreciate all advices given here.

For some context, my dad renewed our Wifi contract a few months ago, with a fixed $59.90 bill monthly. The deal came with a free 6 months Singtel TV trial (which we can cancel anytime) and 2 Wifi mesh. Sounds pretty great.

Until a $68.99 bill showed up this month. Not a big jump, just a few dollars, but that few dollars could easily snowball to a few hundred after a 2 year contract. We were charged for some channel or package under Singtel TV. I contacted customer service for clarification and they told me the Singtel TV was not free, which was not what was told to my dad. I tried to cancel it but there was a $32 cancellation fee, which also does not match whatever the salesperson told my dad. So I explained the situation and was told I would get an update in about 2-3 days. I was promised the cancellation would be free if my dad was indeed unaware of the charge for Singtel TV.

5 days later my dad got a call from Singtel and was told (threatened) that they have a voice recording of my dad. My dad met with the Singtel staff in a physical store and was not asked for permission to be recorded, especially since the conversation must have included personal details such as IC number, phone number etc.

I had to contact customer service again to ask for an explanation. I also mentioned if they do have the recording of my dad getting notified of the Singtel TV charge and agreeing to it, then send it my way and I would rest my case. Agent said they would get back to me, but didn’t do so after an hour. I had to prompt them for a response. I was then told I had to pay $60 to get the voice recording.

At this point I’m baffled by Singtel. There are so many confusing points. Why did the salesperson give the wrong information? Why do I have to pay for their mistake? Why was my dad recorded without permission? Why do I have to pay to access our own personal data?

What is the best way to deal with this situation? Contacting customer service is a complete waste of time.

My friends always complain about their partner using their things or irritating them in many ways.

For me, I see things from a different perspective and I would always encourage my friends to do so as well.

So usually my day starts early in the morning. I would be at work at 6am while my wife only wakes up at 7am to prepare for work. I share an account on Spotify with my wife and I will start listening to it at 6am. Usually at around 7am my music would get cut off as my wife would wake up and tune into our account to prepare for her work while listening to her favourite songs.

Thereafter, she would leave the house and arrive at work at about 8.45am and I would get my music back. I have never told my wife that she is interrupting my music. She doesn’t know that I am listening to our Spotify account at work as well. I enjoy knowing that she has woken up and she has already reached her workplace when I get my music back. It is something simple but something that I look forward to everyday.

It is a bonus that she does not check her Spotify history to know when I am using it. So I use spotify history to look at the songs she had played to gauge her mood and try to cheer her up by getting something on the way back home on days that I think she feels down.

Some people would complain and quarrel with their partners for constantly interrupting their music. But to me I see it as a joy and it is a pattern in my life that I look forward to every day.

So to everyone out there who have such disagreements with your partner, do try to look it another way and take things postiviely, who knows you may enjoy the process when you look at things differently.