I’m a woman in a career field who really doesn’t care about appearances.

My boyfriend is in a job where looks matter more, investment banking. He wears suits and has to present himself as more wealthy to look good at work.

My boyfriend wanted me to come to some work events, dinners or happy hours.

But he said that it was something we’d need to dress up for. I offered to wear some nice dresses I have and he said that it was more than that, his colleague’s wives and girlfriends wore designer and had professionally done hair and nails. And that it really was just what was needed to succeed in his workplace so he considered it a professional expense.

I said that made sense for himself but I’m not responsible for his professional expenses

He agreed to pay for the clothes and salon appointments and I also asked him to compensate me for my time getting “presentable” for those events. Additionally, if he wanted me to act a certain way during these events which were different than my usual behaviour at a social event, it should be treated like work, I’d expect to be paid for my time.

He thought that was unfair, saying that it was weird to charge my boyfriend to attend an event with him. I said that if I’m not attending as myself, but instead presenting an image for business development purposes, that’s not socializing, that’s labour.

He agreed to that at the end, and we came up with a list of things I’d need to attend an event with him… Designer dress, designer heels, jewellery, hair done, nails done, makeup done, handbag… He picked out the dress heels and bag, and he asked me to find salons to have my hair, nails, and makeup done.

When I told him how much the cosmetics appointments and the time I spent on them cost he was upset it was $700. And adding that to the clothes he bought and the time we’d be at the event, it was coming to almost $2000.

We went and I played the part, it was uneventful. Nobody paid me much attention. Felt like a bit of a waste but whatevs.

But afterwards, when I mentioned that I wanted to borrow his card to make an appointment to get the nails removed since I needed them filed down by a professional before work, he got frustrated with me. Saying that I was milking him for money and I was only with him for money. I told him that I make the same as he does.

He got pissed and said that most girls know how to dress themselves and do their own makeup nice, and I got so frustrated I said sarcastically “go date most girls then, I’m sure ‘most girls’ would looove being treated like a human dressup doll!”

He got really mad about that and I feel frustrated too, like he expects me to do unpaid for his work! Like I would never ask him to do anything for my job, let alone do my job unpaid!

So am i in the wrong?

My girlfriend and I recently went out for dinner. It took them a while to seat us as they were short staffed.

We ordered an appetizer to split as well as a meal each. I noticed that they were really trying to rush us along, bringing out our meals at the same time as the appetizer. The server kept grabbing things off the table, asking, “All finished with this?” and beginning to walk away with it in her hand, before I stopped her and told her we weren’t finished. After the third time, first the bread, then my half-filled beer, and then the appetizer. I had enough.

“I understand you have a job to do. Please do not touch anything in front of me until it is cleared and off to the side. Stop interrupting our meal, please go away,” I said very sternly.

A friend of mine came in and was seated at a table nearby, I turned around to greet him and engaged in chit chat for about two minutes. When I turned around my meal, which I had barely touched, was gone. My girlfriend hadn’t even noticed it go missing. I called the waitress over, who handed me the check and asked, “Will there be anything else?”

I told her my meal had disappeared.

She blankly replied, “Oh, I thought you were done.”

I said, “No, I am still eating. Go get my dinner and bring it back here.”

She replied, “Ummm… it got thrown out? Because you looked like you were done, so yeah…”

I told her to go get her manager. She responded that he didn’t have time to see me. I told her that he needed to make time because I was about to make a scene in four seconds.

She left and a minute later came back and said that he was too busy. I told her to reprint the check without my meal on it. She refused saying I ordered it, I had to pay for it, and walked away.

I let my girlfriend finish her meal. Took the check, put a line through the cost of my meal, pulled cash out of my wallet to cover the appetizer, drinks, and my girlfriend’s meal, wrote, “No Tip: Your server was rude, incompetent, and threw out my dinner”, and handed it to the cashier as one bundle as I walked out.

My girlfriend thinks I went a bit overboard and that I should have at least tipped for the other employees involved. My mother, a retired waitress, is furious that I took it upon myself to alter a check and leave without paying for food I ordered.

She thinks it was an honest mistake and I need to be more understanding.

A netizen shared how he went to see a doctor for having a headache and the doctor accused him of malingering (chao keng).

Here is the story

Before you go and attack me and say it’s my fault I found a complaint on google of someone with the same experience with the same doctor.

Went into A&E for constant headache and Lightheadedness and black out. (I was already on MC) The moment I sat down the doctor (non singaporean) asked me , why I came today not yesterday not tomorrow? And I explain but he kept on making the questions more rhetorical and asked me over and over again till i didn’t know how to answer him.

When I mentioned I was on MC already he said so your not interested in serving NS? Then continued asking about my pes Status and what year am I serving ? Why? I raised my voice at him cuz I never said that and that’s a sensitive remark.

Then he was forcing me to answer this question “ Can you open up on the real reason your here? “ I was really speechless I didn’t understand why a doctor would lack so much compassion.

Then he accused me of missing my appointments and when I told him the doctors couldn’t find the cause and didn’t offer to do anymore tests he quickly said no and put his finger to my face????

After the blood take my bp dropped very Low right in front of him and I almost fainted. I think he got scared cuz he didn’t say much afterwards.

Can anyone tell me what he was doing ? Was he trying to accused me for malingering ???

I don’t get it I was already on MC so how could I have been malingering? And could he possibly black mail me to SAF? I’ve made a complaint to the hospital but yet no response.

My wife and I had our second kid two years ago (2 and 6). She took two years off for our first son and is finishing up the two years for our second. Now she wants to be a permanent stay at home mother.

I told her I’m not cool with that. One being that it shifts 100% of the financials onto me and it will create tension. I made decent money and so does she. She’s not even open to WFH.

I explicitly told her that if we go down that route then I expect her to be a proper housewife. I’m talking about coming to clean home, cooked meals, every little thing. Just like how I can’t come up short at my job, she can’t come up short on hers. She’ll have the time because I could find the time if the roles were reversed.

To me, this is like an employee who is asking for accommodations that will result in decreased production no matter what and shifts extra work to other people.

Personally, I do feel like taking advantage of and I’m doing my best to get what I can get so I feel less taken advantage of. Being a stay at home parent is a lot less work than a working parent. I’d gladly be one!

I got immense pushback from her. We didn’t even get to discuss how long the stay at home mom gig would last. I mean I’m not cool with it going on for more than a couple of years. I’d divorce her in a heartbeat if she tried to make it permanent.

Childcare isn’t an issue. The schools have plenty of after school classes, my brother lives nearby and would love to watch them and millions of working parents make it work just fine.

Here are what netizen thinks:

• Communication is a good tool. Use it. If it doesn’t work, you are already thinking on divorce, so, what do you need from us? Maybe she wants to be an SHM because she knows all these responsibilities will fall on her even if she works, so why double her work while her hands are already full?

• This guy really thinks being a homemaker and parent is an easy job.

• The “i would divorce her in a second” comment shows just how little he thinks of his wife. Viewing her as an employee, like his marriage is some kind of business arrangement.

I usually go out with my wife about every Friday night. When we were dating she very commonly forget to bring her purse or money at all so I would for her but I’ve been doing this for years and I have reached my absolute limit. I’ve been frustrated paying for her before but I never said anything as I didn’t her to think I was selfish.

About a week ago we decided to go eat at a family restaurant with my wife and stepdaughter. In the car, I asked her if she brought any money and she said that she didn’t so I told her to go into the house before we leave and bring some cash. She went in and claimed she brought her purse with cash inside.

At the restaurant we receive our bill and what do you know my wife left her purse in the car. I told her to go bring and gave her the keys. She said it wasn’t in there. I went to check myself and it’s really not there. She looks embarrassed at our table and asks her own daughter to pay for her meal. My stepdaughter was going to do it but I told her to leave it as I would pay.

I told my wife this was the last straw and that she was intentionally doing this.

She denied my accusations and said to keep it down but the minute we got in the car she called me an asshole for just not paying. I responded with the fact that she 100% had the money to pay as she worked a good job and that this was ridiculous. She said I was still being a dick and I needed to think about I just said. I don’t think I did anything wrong.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you had a problem with this thing she did frequently while you were dating, why did you marry her? Why go for public embarrassment instead of just talking to her? Way to address this in the most passive-aggressive way possible.

• I know right! Normal husband: chat to your wife at home about wanting to budget together better. This guy : humiliate her in a restaurant in front of her kid, to prove a point

• She humiliated herself by lying. She said she had her purse. He trusted her at her word. She lied and got caught in a lie. He didn’t say he embarrassed her before when he “knew” she didn’t have her purse. But this time he “thought” she had it, because he specifically “asked” her to bring it and she said she “did” bring it. She “lied.”