Well I had finished and walked out like normal to go back to my car when I see a car in the parking lot drive and come near me and some guy yelled “aye girl Ai sio gan mai” (dirty Hokkien term asking for…)  At first I thought nothing of it like whatever so stupid.

So I get inside my car and I see them park in the gym parking lot in front of me but diagonally sort of. I locked my doors and turned my gear to drive and had my foot on the gas in case anyone came up. I sat there for a moment thinking of what to do bc I didn’t want to let it go.

Well they decide to drive slowly and straight in front of me so their drivers side was facing me but still kinda far like it’s a big plaza parking lot. I took a photo of their car lol and I still waited. I saw them move a little and I started to follow but then they saw me and stopped.

They waited about 3-5 minutes w/o moving and so did I. I took a few more pics. I then decided that maybe I should just drop it and drive off. I barely got out of the parking lot when I changed my mind and came back and sneakily parked into an NTUC nearby and turned my lights off but kept my car on. I could see them leaving the parking lot so I immediately follow behind them and take a picture of their plates.

They recognized me and tried to turn but i drove off immediately and to make sure they didn’t follow I drove around a bit before I went home.

I’m going to email the gym with the photos and screenshots of me texting my friends w the time showing so they can also look at their security footage.

Basically going to say that if he goes to this gym they should do something about it because it’s absolutely deranged that a guy would harass women leaving the gym at nearly 12am.

I know he probably thought it was a joke and funny but it’s really not and he needs to learn his lesson.

I had a couple of conversations with this guy like a year ago. We spoke mid-week, once or twice and he asked if we can meet in person for a date. I told him that I will try on the weekend if possible.

Next evening, he called me 5 times. I had friends over and couldn’t pick up. He left a couple of texts. I had a lot of work and was on call with my boss till 1 am and then slept so I didn’t respond.

Had a big meeting the next day and while I was rushing to get ready, I get another call from him which I ignored. I barely reach work and my dad calls me that he got a call from the guy saying I am not responding to him.

He calls again in an hour. I pick up and yell at him for involving my father and tell him I have a busy day and would talk to him post work.

I reach home in the evening and by the time I’m out of the shower there are 3 missed calls. I call him back and tell him I’m not interested in taking things forward with him. He kept apologizing and kept asking me to reconsider. I said a hard NO and told him not to call or text again. One hour passed, and bloody hell he us texting again. So I blocked him.

Fast forward, a year I get 2 missed calls at 9 PM yesterday night from an unknown number. I called back and have trouble placing him. He reminds of the events from last year and wants to connect again. I just lost it and called him a stalker and told him that I will report it if he contacts me again.

He didn’t find my Dad’s number. He already had it due to a mutual acquaintance. However, what makes me angry is that he reached out to my Dad to get me to respond.

So I (F29) have been with my husband (M36) for 7 years. Together, we have a daughter who is 6 and I have a son from a previous relationship who is 10.

We also have a small home in a nice neighborhood where my kids have made plenty of friends and the school seems to be ok. On the outside and on paper things look pretty great.

On the inside, not so much. We’ve had our relationship issues like anyone else but I’ve let it push me away. He became very jealous about 2-3 years into our relationship and would look through my phone.

He would always ask me if I was cheating on him which eventually turned into am I still in love with him/still attracted to him. Over time these things started to make me feel less and less attracted to him and I did voice that as best as I could at the time. To no avail, his insecurities continued.

He has been insecure about me using my “toy” alone. I actually brought it to work to leave charging in my car because I didn’t want it to lead to a lengthy and heated discussion about why I’m not “in the mood” as much.

He has a bad temper, which he has improved on but it slowly started putting a strain on things and made me not feel as comfortable opening up and being free. He has screamed in my kid’s faces and screamed at me. One time, in particular, was pretty bad because we were driving with the kids in the car and the kids were terrified as was I.

I went to the beach last week to clear my head and he blew up my phone with texts and voice messages for over an hour because I did not respond to his earlier text that day.

I actually muted him and put my phone on do not disturb because he was giving me a bit of a hard time earlier that morning when he offered to leave work early and come with me to which I told him I’d prefer to go to the beach by myself.

He didn’t throw a fit but he did make me feel bad. When I finally answered him I was on my way to my moms to pick up my son. When I got to my mom’s he called again and I said I was there and he asked “do I have to come and check?”

My mom could hear this so she said “yeah hi, she’s here” he got audibly annoyed and hung up on me.

I feel like I’ve contributed to our problems as well by avoiding things and not telling him where I am and who I’m with.

Avoiding having deep and serious discussions about the issues in our relationship because I didn’t want to argue or deal with it. I feel like I should have tried harder because now he seems to be trying harder then ever.

Last night, he asked if things were okay and I told him the truth.

That I’m not physically attracted to him anymore and I feel like I’m forcing myself to be in this relationship.

That I love him and care for him but I’m not in love with him. Again, he asks if there’s anyone else. I struggle with this answer because I do have wandering eyes lately but I don’t feel comfortable telling him even though he tells me it’s okay to admit it. I feel guilty for wanting to be with other people.

I feel like a failure and like I gave up and am throwing away 7 years because “I’m not happy”. I don’t even know how to be happy. I suggested staying with my mom and just taking a break for some space. He disagreed and wants to work at this but I’m unsure-especially because of the wandering eyes part.

When we have S, I have a very hard time staying connected and enjoying it. I almost force myself to do it because that’s what I think I need to do. I don’t feel anything when we kiss. The last two times were the worst because I’ve been so confused about everything but I did it anyway and I told him that during our conversation last night.

It’s scary because for so long, I’ve felt trapped and stuck and wanting to be free but I can’t seem to pull the trigger and I’m not sure if it’s because maybe I am still in love with him or if it’s because of the comfortability of the last 7 years will end and I’m afraid I’d be making a mistake considering how hard he wants to try. He told me he’ll spend every day making me fall in love with him again.

That makes me feel weird. We cuddled last night before falling asleep and it was nice, he wanted to try having S but I said let’s just cuddle instead and he didn’t give me an issue like he used to.

I don’t know what the I’m doing. I have two kids this is going to affect and I feel like a low-life loser that has two kids from two different dads and I can’t seem to get anything right.

I feel like I’ve screw up somehow and there’s something wrong with me, maybe because I’ve been told my entire life that there was something wrong with me.

I don’t honestly know what I want but I am starting therapy next week.

At the end of their conversation, the guy invited my friend to a yacht party that he was apparently having not too far from where we were.

My friend asked if I could join them and what the dude did was disgusting. He straight up looked me up and down my body (still not having said a word to me) and straight up told my friend that she could only come.

I felt effing dehumanized like a piece of meat and just wanted to leave and go back to our hotel room. My friend then ‘asked’ me if it was ok if she went to the party for a few hours without me and told me she’ll meet up with me later.

I just told her to do what she wants and got up and went back to our hotel.

My friend didn’t return until 6 am the next morning. I cried my eyes out and the only thing I wanted to do was take the first flight home, but we still had a day left on our trip that I pretty much spent pretending nothing was wrong…

I already knew that my friend was considered more “conventionally” attractive but the fact that I was excluded purely because of the way I look hurt.

But the worst thing of all was the fact that my friend didn’t even have my back and dropped me like I was nothing. Another example of how women are still mainly judged for their beauty instead of who they actually are.