We hang out once a week on sat & he eats at home on other days with his mom, which I don’t really mind because we can call and text.

BUT sometimes on sat he will at times ditch me 30 minutes before our scheduled time because his mom wants to have lunch together. His mom accompanies him to EVERY doctor & dental appointment. Guess what? It’s always on sat (I don’t know whether it’s coincidental or what). I don’t even know what time I’m meeting him and he always have his meals with her so I’m always eating alone

i felt uncomfortable deep down but I try very hard to be understanding … I mean, logically speaking, we are just his girlfriend (not his wife right?) and as compared to his mom who has brought him up for so long we should learn how to respect and give in. Also I don’t want to make things difficult for my bf.

Not too sure about your case though, my advice is that you need to think through , is he the only son? Is his mom a single mom? Etc. in my case I don’t know why his mom is so clingy because he has 4 other siblings (3 guy 1 girl) and he’s the 3rd in line. I wonder if his mom treats the rest the same as well? Or maybe because I’m from a single family (no mom) so I don’t understand that feeling? Haha

For the time being, I am trying to adopt a positive mindset. I feel that instead of being angry that your bf does this, why not be filial to his mother together? (Unless his mom really hates you la..then can’t be helped) if you are going to marry him in the long run then you have to try to get used to his family culture. From there, I think (hope) that he will appreciate your actions, and from there you can try to talk to him about how you actually feel and work things out together, instead of just telling him that “please accommodate to my needs”. Sometimes we really need to see from both sides of the story.

Nothing wrong with being a mommy boy and loving you at the same time

All the best to you!

Don’t understand why my bf is so unreasonable!

My bff’s birthday is coming and I planned for a bestie getaway to Bangkok to celebrate! Before covid, we would always plan crazy parties to celebrate each other’s birthday but the past few years we didn’t celebrate properly so I thought this year I’d do sth special for him.

I alr booked everything from the air tickets to accomodation and then my bf just suddenly went crazy and banned me from going with my friend! It’s not like we’re staying in the same room what!

Out of respect for my bf, I still spent extra money to book a separate room for my bff and it’s not like I only told my bf last minute. Since the start I alr told him about my plan and he also never say anything! Now want to threaten me with break up if I go?! Wtf so childish can? I know my bff way before I met my bf pls. If we rly got feelings then we long time ago alr tgt.

Still wait until now? If my bf’s so immature about this whole thing and got such low confidence in our relationship, then fine lor. Break up jiu break up.

Here are what netizens think:

• If HE DO THE SAME THING TO YOU, then what you also childish ah? So your saying its ok for you to do it la, put yourself in his shoes la artard.

• no need overseas la, if ur bf staycation “separate room” with a girl, you see you kpkb anot.

• Girl ah, your brain really got water.

• With your logic means, he can go overseas a few days with a different gender ah. Girl trust me, you will either divorce or never get married. East or West culture wont accept one.

• Got this kind of people, that’s why got people cheat. Your justification is wrong

Conduct rating / testimonial

Hi guys, i just ORDed yesterday. I received a “satisfactory” for my conduct and performance for taking a long term MC due to a surgery (that i declared in bmt & when i was posted to my unit) that i underwent towards the end of my service.

Throughout my time in my unit, i got all of my work done on time, was always punctual, never signed any extras, covered duties for my friends, maintained a good relationship with the regulars i worked closely with.

However my CO was very upset about me taking the long term MC and when i came back for my last 2 weeks or so, he was very passive aggressive in speaking to me and kept talking bad about my attendance.

My parents are extremely upset that i’ve been given a conduct rating that is not reflective of the work i did or the effort i put in. They are insistent on speaking to my formation commander and demanding an explanation.

I personally don’t think it’s important, but i would like some input from the rest of you guys. Thanks!

Netizens’ comments

1. Not important, literally doesn’t matter unless you want to sign on or something.
2. No importance at all lol. Only if you want to sign on or i heard government job then they will see this type of stuff. End of the day no one cares whats on that sheet. My batch one is some clerk write one paragraph for all and then just change the name like template like that.
3. no one gives a damn about NS after that 2 years unless you want to sign on, it’s 2 years of ur life that isn’t going to matter anywhere else, just live life and be happy
4. To add on, I think conduct rating is quite subjective – someone’s satisfactory might be equivalent to someone else’s excellent. Don’t worry about it, nobody has asked for my testimonial after I graduated
5. I hated army so much but I did just enough work so my PC no need to suffer as well. In the end I got the same testimonial as my other batch mates that genuinely liked to work. So it homestly doesn’t matter.
6. There were ORDed guys who called me to request a reprint of the T&T because they misplaced it and their potential employer wants a copy. I have also written to date 2 testimonials on request of the company that my exNSFs were working or applying to work there. So don’t throw away just that.
7. Things like testimonial is really a matter of principal. Getting outstanding doesn’t mean the future employer is going to pay more then those who get satisfactory. IMO. if I think I have done above and beyond. I would fight to have it corrected, because, to me, it’s a matter of principal, and I won’t just let a guy sitting behind the desk anyhow scribble anything that comes in his mind, because, I have done my part of the job. Now it’s his turn to do his job well. Hence, will fight to have it corrected, and once out the gate. Tear and throw away..

I (25) Female just suffered a tragic miscarriage. In order to tell you the story properly I’ll rewind it a bit. My now ex-boyfriend (29) and I have been together for 5 months. We’re both divorcees, we both have children. He has one son age (4) and I have two children (4) female, son (6). We live together and his son lives about 15 minutes from our apartment. My kiddos on the other hand live with their dad far from me.. He has never met my children, I know that sounds weird but when we started dating my kids had just left to go back to their fathers.

They won’t be back until the holidays, I’ve been soooo excited to bring my kids into the mix. Especially since I’ve fully accepted his son since day one and I absolutely love his son. Plus they are all at great ages to adjust. I’m also not his first relationship nor girlfriend who has met his son. No one has ever met mine though. We moved in after two months of being together.. I know it sounds crazy but we’ve both been married and have kids.

I have never moved in with anyone but my ex-husband, it’s the same with him and his ex-wife as well. Neither of us had been in relationship in over two years. When we met everything clicked and fell perfectly together. I never even knew I could love someone the way I love him, I never knew I’d ever picture myself marrying someone again and I definitely never pictured myself having more than my perfect set of babies but it changed when I met him.

Don’t worry, I’ve done plentyyy of dating good and bad before hand. When I say he treated me so well and the relationship felt so healthy. It honestly felt too good to be true the entire time. I felt we were good with communication, I believe relationships should be 100/100 and love is a choice. I regularly checked in with him mentally and emotionally. I’m a pro at managing to remember these things because I’m also bipolar. I’m on meds and completely in control of myself even on the hard days.

Moving on with the story, once we moved in we had a conversation about how we wanted to maybe try to have a baby together. I have a couple of years left of fertility due to issues. We felt since we’ve done it with our exes… it would be an even better experience to do it together.

Soon after that talk we went to the doctor together to remove my IUD and we immediately started trying…. I found out two weeks ago I was pregnant. We were soo excited but the night I found out.. he was having a mental moment and spaced himself from me. We had talked about me testing that day beforehand so I went ahead and tested.

We had gotten so many negative test results up to that point.. that I expected that negative to pop up but no.. I was pregnant. He all of the sudden jumped back into the relationship 100/100 again. We started planning nursery ideas, we had a gender neutral name, we were coming up with ideas on how to tell his parents… I specifically asked him if he was with me for the baby or me. He told me he loved me and wanted me regardless baby or not.

Well Saturday I woke up at 6am to pee.. walked into the bathroom and peed like normal but when I went to flush I saw blood on the toilet paper. So I wiped again and there was a little blood but no biggie since I’d be about 6-7 weeks. I strugged it off and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 10 am and was covered in blood.. I ran into the bathroom and even more came out so we left for the hospital together.. We waited hours together..

finally they did an ultrasound.. they used the probe and went inside to try to see baby. Once they were done with it they left the room so I could get dressed again… when I stood up off the table.. blood just started going everywhere all over the floor. There was so much.. I’ll never forget how much blood came out.. didn’t know that was even possible.

So they tell us we miscarried, it was too early to give us a reason. I’m forever crushed by that news which was horribly explained to us by a male doctor. Comforting skills 1/10. We headed home after they discharged us. I’m still cramping and bleeding now. Just trying to recover as best I can so I can get back to work.

Fast forward. He texted me before he headed home today and told me he has been thinking about us and wanted to spend some alone time together tonight to talk and “iron things out”.

Instead he gets home, we got dinner and then we were relaxing… he said he wanted to talk so we sat down. He proceeded to tell me that he wrote it in his notes and has read/edited it a billion times..

he starts reading it and it’s a long message. I just bawled the entire time as he just broke up with me. His reasoning is the miscarriage made him realize.. he wants it to be only him and his son. He doesn’t want me, my kids or a relationship.. he hasn’t wanted to be with me in awhile.

What do I do? I know he’s being selfish but I don’t see him that way. I love him. I love our sweet angel baby and I still wanted everything with him.. it was completely, completely left field. I called my best friends and they came to get me. Idk what I would do without them. I just really wish I could hug my babies right now. I feel like I’ll never be able to trust someone’s feelings in me again.

My sweet angel baby R. Mommy will forever love and miss you. I’m so honored I got to carry you even for such a sure time. Rest easy, we all miss you. Mommy, Brother and Sister

Anyone have advice? About how to move on? Or how to accept that I miscarried and that’s how I lost the love of my life? Where I do get the strength from?

I (31M) earn nearly 3x as much as my GF(31F), and our different approach to money is starting to cause tension. Any advice?

I’ve been living at my girlfriend’s place for 3 years now.

She also has a daughter who lives with us.

I earn about 3x as much as her and I’m living in her apartment ‘rent-free’, so naturally she expects me to handle most of the expenses, which I’m fine with.

I pay for groceries, utilities, petrol, restaurants, about 70% of vacations, etc.

Since I work from home, I do all of the grocery shopping and 90% of the cooking and make breakfast and lunch for her daughter nearly every day when she gets home from school and I try to make sure not to make a mess of the kitchen in the process. My girlfriend does most of the laundry and cleaning.

I work about 60 hours a week, occasionally having to work until late in the evening if there’s a deadline coming up.

My girlfriend was let go from her previous job in September, took 2 months off and started looking for a new job in November, meaning she applied for 2 jobs that month.

I didn’t pressure her about it until January when I started asking her if maybe it would be more effective to apply for more jobs at a time instead of waiting for a response from the company she had an interview with. (She did take my advice and easily found a new job by March.)

During this time I paid for everything and she used her savings to buy new pieces of furniture.

I admit I got a little upset when she used the last of her savings to buy herself a new bag(she has dozens of bags) and a necklace(how is this a priority when you have no income).

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t see a point arguing about it after the fact.

Recently we had a fight because she thinks I don’t have any long term plans and goals(I’m just exhausted really).

I told her that I’d like to reach some level of financial stability but even though my income has doubled in the past 2 years, I’m not saving more.

She seems convinced that I’m saving a great deal of money by not having to pay rent. The reality is that I could easily save more than half my income, even if I rented a spacious apartment by myself.

I’ve tried to explain that I’m currently bankrolling the inflated lifestyle of 3 people, but she wasn’t having it.

Am I looking at this the wrong way, or is this really as unsustainable and unhealthy as I think it is?
Where do I draw the line?

My (19M) Girlfriend (19F) of 7 months asks me to do a bunch of favors everyday and I’m getting sick of it

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months, in the beginning she would ask me to do little things for her, get her a water, heat up her food, yknow small things like that. She would thank me and was grateful.

I would kind of get annoyed after about 2 months of doing that because she would just keep asking me for stupid shit (get me clothes, go pick me up food, go and find my hair straightener, find the scissors, do this do that.)

And like, it started to wear on me. Fast forward to now, we have had the same conversation a few times, she asks me why I won’t be in the same room as her or how I’m distant and I tell her it’s because she keeps asking me to do shit and it’s tiring, especially when she isn’t grateful anymore.

and everytime I say no to a favor (in a nice and respectful way) she acts super immature saying things like “Wow you changed and just put on an act in the beginning” “You used to want to do those things now it’s just an inconvenience”.

But it’s like, yeah. It is an inconvenience. I was curious so I asked her a favor or two a week to see how she would react and she would always tell me to do it myself.

Then when we talk about it I’ll bring this up and she says “It’s because you always ask me when I’m in the middle of something”

When she asks me for a favor when I’m in the middle of something I usually say “I can’t right now, you can do it or just wait a few minutes until I finish up with this”

Even a few weeks ago, her back hurt but I didn’t know it. She asked me to get her clothes and I said “Can you just please do it yourself I don’t really feel like it”.

She immediately changes her mood to sulking and all sad. I ask her if she’s going to get the clothes, and she says “No I’m getting my dad to do it”.

Now in my head I immediately thought “Wait. So you’re going to inconvenience your dad?? Are you kidding me?”

I said to her “Dude, just tell me what clothes you want why are you going to inconvenience your dad in the middle of him working”.

She acted all sulky and was like “No I don’t want you to get them”. I eventually just went and got the clothes so her dad wouldn’t have to. This is just one example of it and it’s annoying. Any help would be appreciated

My boss watches me on the video cameras even on her days off so I’m quitting

I work at a little boutique alongside 2 other people, one being my coworker and one being my manager. There’s only the three of us – I’ve only been there for a month now and I can’t stand it, mostly I can’t stand my manager.

There can never be a positive thing that leaves her lips without something negative following up right behind. Nothing we do seems to be good enough … which is bizarre because it’s a small shop and we work very hard.

She constantly belittles us in front of customers – as well as make jokes that I can’t count… the breaking point was when she admitted that she watched the sécurity cameras everyday even when she’s not working.

She’ll watch them multiple times and call the store (on her days off) to tell us to not do this, or do this etc … well the day before yesterday my coworker and I were at work, my manager clocked out for the days after working the full 8h and left.

However unbeknownst to us, she actually left the store and pretended to leave but casually sat in a bar in-front of the boutique for an hour watching us and see if we were working (as well as being on her phone with the security cameras).

She admitted this to us yesterday with pride, no shame in sight. My other coworker quit a week ago (it’s a month long notice).

My manager cannot afford to lose me, however I feel so disgusted by her that I’m quitting tomorrow and I’m giving her two days notice.

She’s gonna struggle but that’s what she gets for constantly criticizing me when all I did was work hard.

My (F18) mom’s friend (M40+?) is making me feel uncomfortable

I turned 18 3 weeks ago, and since then my mom’s friend has been “joking” about dating me.

Ever since literally the day after my birthday, my mom’s friend has been making comments about how I’d be the perfect girlfriend, and how he’s amazed I’ve not been “snatched up” yet.

He’s one of my mom’s oldest friends and he’s at our house at least once a week. These comments weird me out heaps, because… he’s old enough to be my dad and I’ve known him since I was a baby.

I spoke to my mom about this and she said that he’s just joking and I should take it as a compliment. All guys joke like this, and it just means he thinks I’m pretty.

The issue is that… its gross, right? Just because I’m 18 doesn’t mean I have to date, and it definitely doesn’t mean I want to date someone that old!

I’m really not sure how to handle this, because no one else seems to think it’s a big deal. What should I do?

Some things he’s said:

1. You’d be the perfect girlfriend!
2. You’ve got to find yourself a man to take care of you.
3. How are you single? You’re beautiful!
4. I’d have snatched you up in a heartbeat.
5. You need a real man!
6. What I wouldn’t do with a girl like you.
7. If you ever need someone to take you out, you know where I am.

Netizens comments

He’s a predator and your mom is enabling him. I wouldn’t put it past her to orchestrate a situation where he can ambush you into being alone with him.

Sometimes you have to be blunt. Make him and your mom as uncomfortable as you’ve been made to feel. Your mom is not being a good mom in this – dismissive of this creepy MF behaviour and is continuing to give him access to you in your home. You have anywhere else you can go?

Tell her you don’t feel comfortable around him and that if she could arrange it so the two of you are never in the same place together, that would be great. She doesn’t have to confront him or anything, just stop inviting him over when you’re there. Stay low-key and try to sound reasonable. If that doesn’t work, try to avoid him and definitely don’t be alone with him until you can move out.

Dafk? Is your mom a time traveler from the 1950’s? She must be Gen X and know better than this, wth is wrong with her. It’s NOT normal and it’s beyond creepy! Your mom needs to put a stop to it or you need to by telling him straight up that a grown man doesn’t “joke” like that. Sometimes a young adult has to set 2 immature adult brains straight.

Tell your mum you don’t want to hear that an old man thinks you’re pretty and that she’s bias and a weirdo for not recognising this as the gross behaviour it is.

Do you think is important your BF/GF stay near you?

I recently got to know an acquaintance whose actively on dating apps for a serious GF, but only if the potential match stays near him (he stays East, for example, so the potential match would ideally stay in East area too)

Heard he’s been on the dating apps for years with no luck, so I feel this factor itself is significantly diminishing his chances, or maybe it’s other factors I don’t know about. I don’t want to appear overly intrusive on this hence here I take my thoughts to the internet.

is it important to you a potential match must stay near you? Any experiences to share? Thoughts?

I feel is a small issue, so long can stay over each other’s house sometimes. Or rent out together, and when marry will stay together anyway? Or am I missing something?

Netizens’ comments

1. It’s a huge plus but it’s not a dealbreaker. Wouldn’t consider Boon Lay fun to get to if you stay in Pasir Ris.
2. I think it depends on the other party. I had a partner that stays in boon lay (right beside NTU) and I stay in Punggol. It wasn’t easy for me and she’s your typical tiktok addict that follows tiktok trend like “if he want he would”. So everytime I can’t send her home, we will end up fighting. Tough relationship 🥲 sometimes I spend 2 to 3 hours just to send her home and I didn’t even complain.
   Now I have a new partner that stays near me. Definitely make things easier for us cause if we were to settle down, we can pick somewhere in between and convenient to visit my parents or the in-laws
3. I would date a girl even if she lived on Tekong. Lol.
4. My husband told me that if I had stayed very far away from him, he didn’t think it would have worked out haha. He has this old fashioned view that he must send me home after dates (he did most of the time even though I told him no need). I still can’t tell if he was joking or dead serious cause I can imagine him being defeated by distance while obstinately insisting that he must send me home
5. No.
   People have the weirdest arbitrary requirements when it comes to dating (long term rs specifically). Requirements that have absolutely no impact on the compatibility/quality of the relationship long term.
   “I cannot accept if my partner wears slippers to town”
   I’ll always call people out on BS like that, you mean if an otherwise perfect partner (I mean 10/10 by your own standards) shows up interested in dating you and their only flaw is that they would from time to time decide to wear slippers to town you would reject them?
   If no, why is this even a thing? Don’t be stupid, pick a better hill to die on.
6. Some people don’t really like to travel just to meet their partner. It depends on what you want. it can be tiring to travel 1hours+ just to meet. but find things to do during the travelling time so that you won’t feel that is a chore to travel