I was recently hired by a company that promised to be the best place to work.

Little did I know that my boss was an entitled, wealthy man who was never interested in putting in the work to make the company successful.

Everyday come in play phone, seems very disinterested

He would come into the office every day, but instead of doing the work that he was supposed to do, he would spend hours playing games on his phone.

I initially thought that the company was his own blood sweat and tears but it turns out that his father had opened up a company and asked him to run the company.

However, he seemed to think that because of his family’s wealth, he didn’t need to do any work and that his family would always be there to bail him out financially.

I was frustrated, but I kept my head down and did my job to the best of my ability. I kept trying to find ways to suggest new strategies and ideas to help the company grow, but my boss was too busy playing games on his phone to take any of my suggestions seriously.

It was evident that my boss was more interested in living off of his family’s wealth than actually doing the work necessary to make the company successful.

Most of the time I end the day with more work than I started it with because I had to cover his workload for him despite getting done around half of everything I had at the start of the day.

Sometimes its so much that I just start laughing.

He still tells me I am lazy because I have so much work left at the end of the day

Sometimes my boss then tells me that I’m lazy when he sees that I still have so much more work at the end of the day.

There were rumours going around in the office that his incompetence cost his family almost $500,000 in losses over the last few years because he was often too ambitious, stubborn and unrealistic in his ideas.

However because his family has money, he could easily stomach these losses and just continue.

My boss waited until I got back from vacation to lay me off without warning.

Context

This happened a couple weeks ago and I’ve kinda just been in a depressed state but I figured if I’m finally gonna talk about my crappy former boss might as well come here.

I had a vacation planned for a while so I requested to meet my boss way in advance so that I had time to speak with her, move meetings and deadlines around, etc. We had our weekly 1-on-1 the day before I left and she chatted me up about it like everything was normal.

Asked where I was going, what I was gonna do, etc. I made a jokey comment about how this was my first real vacation in years and how excited I was to have some real time off, and she had a kind of stale/unimpressed reaction to that.

She also in a roundabout way tried to inquire about how much my trip cost, because she “was looking at going there someday”. I didn’t directly answer because it felt off to me that she would ask something like that, seeing as she makes 10x as much as I did, but it was definitely not a cheap trip.

From the day I started she never treated me with respect or basic decency. I dealt with numerous comments and inappropriate questions about my disability, my “inability” to complete tasks without mistakes (tasks that she was supposed to train me on and never did, or assumed I would figure out how to do myself after getting help from others in my dept), and just lack of empathy and understanding when medical emergencies rose due to my disability or other things.

I chose to “rise above” and never spoke up about these comments or anything because:

A) None of it was (purposely) in writing or recorded
B) I didn’t want to give her a chance to give me the sack

Anyways, I get home from vacation, and I find that all of our meetings for that week were cancelled. Typically when she would cancel a meeting, she would reschedule as soon as she was available.

But these were all important meetings between us that she just cancelled without saying a word to me. This went on for 2 days, until mid-day Thursday I’m called down to HR’s office where I’m told I’m being laid off without any kind of warning, and also without severance.

This woman is sitting there holding back a smile the entire time I’m holding back tears. I get handed my last paycheck, walked back to my desk to collect my things, and was escorted off the property.

In hindsight it was definitely an “F you” from her to me, since she knew do not have transport and I was then forced to wait outside in the middle of the rain to get a car.

I don’t know why I didn’t say any of this to HR before I left, because at that point what did I have to lose, but something in me just said to keep being polite and respectful even while being told I’m losing my job and income for the foreseeable future.

I know this is more of a vent-y post so I apologise if those aren’t allowed here, but I just needed to say somewhere F- HER.

I don’t understand why it’s so hard for managers just to treat people with basic f-ing respect or how it’s ethical to seemingly know for a good chunk of time that I’m getting laid off and not say anything.

Had I even had an inclination I might be losing my job I would have cancelled my entire vacation and kept saving that money.

Consequences of NS Defaulters. Asking for an ex-classmate.

Context

Friend’s info: Is a 2nd-gen PR, migrated from neighbouring country with both parents. Born overseas and has a foreign passport.

Completed national exams up to sec sch; graduating with Diploma with me. Doing pre-enlistee process such as the medical check up.

His family is planning to renounce PR to migrate back, he’ll then pursue further studies (undergrad) overseas as well. Planning to leave upon completion of our course.

Questions

• My worries are if he attempts to renounce his permanent residence, would his application be withheld?
  
• Let’s say he does successfully renounce his permanent residence. Will ICA still barred him upon arrival despite successful renunciation even though he’s always had foreign passport/never possessed an SG Passport?
  
• For his case whereby he wasn’t born in Singapore, only obtained PR when his family migrated for work, has a foreign passport, and not planning to maintain ties with our country (eg. Studying here, applying for citizenship, purchase property), would there still be issues if ever he returns perhaps after his studies or even a decade later?

I believe that regardless, under the law, he will still be defined as an NS Defaulter and that within itself comes with its own consequences. Just wondering because his case seems to be in a bit of a grey area seeing as to how his only tie to SG would be his PR status; as mentioned, his passport is foreign, he was born overseas, projected to spend perhaps the rest of his life abroad after studying there…

Personally, I understand his situation as well, migrating parents back to their home country and he’d be left in the country by himself, finances to sustain living by himself if he gets to book out – yes, it seems to be quite a bad circumstance.

My worry is just that if ever he comes back on Singapore soil, maybe even just for a transfer flight, all of the consequences come rushing back.

I accidentally showed my employer an email confirming my new job, before I gave my notice.

Context

So this morning I accepted a job offer (yay!). It was a difficult decision because I enjoy my current job and I love my colleagues, but the new position is a better fit with the kind of work I want to be doing.

I got an email from the recruiter this afternoon confirming my acceptance.

I haven’t signed a contract yet and I also haven’t given my current employer my notice, and it’s been a bit uncomfortable being at the office acting normal when I know I’ll be dropping this bomb soon.

We are a small company, I’m in a close-knit team of only 4 people, all of us are good at our jobs and we are quite busy. My leaving will be unexpected and not great for the team, and I do feel bad about it.

Unfortunately for me, I now have an even better reason to feel bad.

So this afternoon I was in a meeting with my team, including my team lead and our “manager” (who is also the CEO and whom we all get on well with).

We were brainstorming some design solutions (I’m a designer) and my colleague suggested there was a feature in Gmail that was similar to what we wanted to achieve. I was already sharing my screen, so I logged into my personal Gmail without thinking (work email is a different platform)…

At the top were 2 unread emails, but below that in the Read section, The Email was the top one, with subject “Job offer” and preview “Thank you for accepting our offer! We’re glad you want to join our company.” (paraphrasing here)

I didn’t realise until like 5-10 seconds in when I immediately opened a new tab and tried to play it off. I am absolutely mortified. No one let on that they saw it, but if they did (and I think that’s not unlikely), the email preview left absolutely zero doubt about what was going on.

I really hope my new employer will send me the contract tomorrow (my day off) so I can sign it ASAP and give my notice first thing Monday… and apologise profusely in case my boss saw it.

I really really really did not want them to find out like this.

I haven’t been with anyone for over a decade.

Context

I am the mother to a beautiful, almost 14 year old girl. My last partner was her dad, who told me he wanted to break off our engagement when I was 6 months pregnant outside the hospital, where I was going to have a check-up.

It wasn’t a shock, and honestly, I wasn’t that heartbroken over it.

I fell pregnant at the end of January 2009. Our last intimate moment was somewhere in March, April, or May. I consider it April as he was at my house over the weekends that year.

When my girl was 2, I went out with a mate and her boyfriend to a club thinking I might want to get back in the game. I ended up making out with a guy she knew. That was my last kiss.

As time went on, I didn’t want to hit the club/bar scene and so the chance of meeting someone slipped away. I don’t go out often and when I do I’m invisible. So it’s fine. I’m used to it.

I don’t have urges much any more.

Okay maybe what I am going to share soon is too much info, but I do get the needs a few days after my period ends but I am able to pretty much switch it off and the feeling goes away. It is literally that easy. I think, I wish I had someone to call and then no I don’t I’m good and the feeling is gone.

I always said I was going to hire a ‘duck’ for my 10 year celibate anniversary but that was just a passing idea and I didn’t really want to do it.

The saddest thing is that my ex is going to be the last man I ever have s- with and it wasn’t even that great. So depressing.

Sorry but I had to get it off my chest. Enjoy your s- lives people before a drought occurs. Someone go and have s- for me lol.

I told my best friend I have feelings for her.

Context

I’ve (20M) been friends with this girl (21F) for about a year and a half now and we’ve grown really close.

Initially we actually met because I asked her out but it developed into a platonic relationship. She very much saw me as a brother figure and wanted to keep it that way.

She was under the impression I had gotten over my feelings for her and I told her I did. In reality those feelings still existed and I was just repressing them because I wanted to be a good friend.

I knew if she found out again things would be over because she explicitly told me how much she values having a friend who isn’t interested in her romantically.

I tried for so long to keep it that way but it made it impossible for me to move on.

Whenever I tried to think about dating other people my feelings for her just made it impossible. I knew there was never a chance of us getting together and to be frank we would never be a good match.

We’re very different people who expect different things from a relationship right now. The guilt kept eating away at me for feeling this way, I truly didn’t want to.

I felt dishonest and ashamed because I felt like one of those guys who is only friends with a girl in hopes of dating her.

Was I like that? Not sure, but I never really had hope that we’d get together.

I felt like I had to do this in order to give myself closure and move on with my life. It seems like that has come at the sacrifice of our friendship and she doesn’t want to continue it anymore.

I feel absolutely terrible.

She was the closest person in my life and I pretty much just ruined it out of the blue for my own sake.

I think it would’ve been more admirable for me to keep it to myself and continue the friendship and learn to move on without sacrificing it.

Discovering my boyfriend’s ex’s birthday suit pictures on his phone

Here is the story

Hey guys, I’m *name redacted* and I have something to share with you all.

So, I’ve been dating this guy Jack (not his real name) for a few months now and things have been going great between us.

We’ve been spending a lot of time together and I really felt like we were getting serious.

Yesterday, Jack left his phone at my place when he went to work, and I decided to be a good girlfriend and charge it up for him.

As I was scrolling through his photos to make sure everything was backed up, I stumbled upon something that made my heart sink – pictures of his ex-girlfriend’s birthday suit pictures.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Jack had promised me that he was over his ex and that he had no contact with her anymore. But here were these pictures of her, completely wearing nothing and in provocative poses.

I felt sick to my stomach and my first instinct was to confront him right away. But then I started to second-guess myself. Maybe there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he still had these photos.

Maybe he had forgotten to delete them or maybe they were from a long time ago.

So, I decided to wait until he got home to talk to him about it. I tried my best to keep calm and not let my emotions get the best of me, but as soon as he walked through the door, I blurted out everything.

He claims he forgotten about the photos

He was shocked and embarrassed and tried to explain that he had forgotten about the photos and that they were from a long time ago. But I just couldn’t get over the fact that he still had them on his phone.

It made me feel like he was still holding onto something from his past.

We had a long and emotional conversation about trust and boundaries, and in the end, we decided to work through it together.

But it’s going to take some time for me to fully trust him again.

So, there you have it.

I wish I hadn’t found those photos, but at least now we can address the issue and hopefully move forward as a stronger couple.

I’m from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I had been living in Kuala Lumpur my entire life, earning about 4000-5000 ringgit a month until I decided to make a change and relocate to Singapore for work.

I was determined to make a better life for myself and my family and I knew that the only way to do that was to try something new.

Instead of 4000-5000 RM, it became 4000-5000 SGD

I began working in Singapore about three years ago and it has been an incredible experience. I’ve been able to earn a much higher salary than I could in Malaysia, about 4000-5000 also but in Singapore dollars and it gave me the opportunity to save more money and provide a better life for my family.

The main thing that has allowed me to come back to Kuala Lumpur and live like a king is the fact that I am earning Singapore dollars. The currency value is much higher in Singapore than it is in Malaysia, and this has allowed me to save up more money in a shorter amount of time.

I am able to use the money I have saved up to purchase nicer things for myself and my family, like a bigger house and nicer car.

It is also close to Malaysia, can come back anytime

Besides the financial benefits, I also enjoy being able to come back to Kuala Lumpur easily as it is an hour away by plane and 5-6 hours by car or bus and thus I do not have to be away from my loved ones for too long.

If I miss Malaysian food, I can just cross over the border to JB

I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the same lifestyle if I hadn’t been earning Singapore dollars and still earning Malaysian Ringgit.

It has enabled me to save more money and come back to KL with more money to spend.

This has allowed me to live like a king and provide a better life for my family.