I have a very good friend whom i have met during my uni days who is a year junior from me. During uni we study together, sometimes my friend would cook for me during my exam week, we travelled places together, we work really well as a team during sports.

After graduating uni, i got an offer to work in a private company, however my friend did not get an offer and was jobless for 6months and keep asking me to check if my company would like to hire him too.

However there were no vacancy in our company.

So i suggested my friend to join venture as partners to start a business together. I listed my offers and shared my ideas. My friend was very interested and agreed to our business start up. At first, my friend did the part to helped me look up on locations and price comparison for the business. I have been busy for awhile with my current work at hand but will do some research during free hour. Soon after a month from our discussion. My friend had already started his own business with my ideas without informing me.

These were exactly his words, ” Not sure if i got tell you this, i already started renovation and plan to open my business in a few weeks time.”

He acted nonchalant, no apologies ,never say he doesnt want to partner anymore and still can continue to take food from my fridge while telling me that with his back facing me.

This hurt me really bad. I think i would feel better if he had told me earlier during our discussion that he would not like to partner with me. And not after he had started renovation and planning to open the business in a few weeks time. It felt like being stab at the back.

My friend still message me occasionally to ask me regarding things in the business field and it irk me. I was thinking if i should just ignore this person despite had really good past time together as friends? I need some advice. Should i keep a distance and avoid all messages or should i continue to be a friend?

Later did i noticed that this friend only contact me for ideas, for informations and like to keep things as a secret.

I can’t get a closure for this incident and it still gets me despite all this happened during pre-covid time. When i chose to ignore the messages, i feel bad. But when i replied, my friend got his answer and information and will ignore me without replying a thanks or ok.

Should i just break all ties with this person and move on? Or should i forgive this person and mend my own injuries with time? Any good advises?

Is it common for a couple to split the bill/ for the guy to pay/ for the girl pay most of the time (assuming both parties are working and earning decent amount)? I am quite curious since my bf used to pay while he was working and I was studying. Now I am working and paying for most meal but my parents told me I shouldn’t be paying since he is the one asking me out.

Here are what netizens think:

• The relationship is a two-way street. Whatever works for you, every couple is different. Some believe guys should pay since they are providers, some believe going dutch since it’s gender equality.

• both should pay. why are you paying for MOST meals?? Or is he paying for the other stuff like movie tickets, etc etc while you pay for meals?

• Surely you are past that stage when he was chasing you? And it’s a mutual decision to go out and eat together, right?

• A person who pull their weight is often welcomed, gender aside. If a person is able to pay, why the fuck wouldn’t he/she? Relationship aside, if I ask my friends out and want their time, I would be footing the bill. But that’s not the same context your question is sharing. Going by your parents logic would mean if he asks you to BTO with him, he pay everything meh…

• If it’s important enough, both parties should have an honest discussion about it and have an agreement so that it doesn’t turn into making assumptions who’s paying whenever they eat out.

Situation

* 31M, with net-worth of 0.5 mil SGD and will continue to work and get over 200kSGD per annum. So financially secured

* born in a very poor family and worked my ass off since school, good grades, worked 12-15 hrs per day to finally help my family lift from financial woes

* I didnt do much of party/travel/fun in general cause i knew only way to get out of poverty is to work hard (unlike my friends or peers who were quite well off compared to me in terms of family background).. but that was a conscious sacrifice

* really want to have a loving family by 35 with a kind girl and ensure my kids grow up with mom and dad present.

Complication

* to have a loving family, i need to marry and i am shit scared entering into such legal contract where i sign once and half of (all accured since age of 18, day night work and future earnings) is completely in the hands of the wife.

* “no fault divorce” means even if didn’t do anything wrong. Wifey can choose (people can change lets be honest) to just take my kids and half my current/future wealth

* These laws made sense in 1900s because women were completely focussed on homemaking. But in 2022, women can earn/be promiscuous and still enjoy all benefits of traditional marriage

* It hurts but true.. One lady psychologist said, women confess that “1st marriage is for money and 2nd marriage is for love”.. makes sense right? after 1st marriage your alimony is ensured. Now you can go ahead and have lovers/bfs while ex-husband pays for your “lifestyle”… and if you had 2nd marriage, your alimony stops that means the 2nd guy was really worth it for you…. if i was a woman in today’s age it sounds so amazing… as a man it crushes me that divorce laws are so one-sided

Advice needed

* please help me understand how is a man expected to get married in such times where women can choose to break marriage and be rewarded for it

* Is there a way to make this fair? like ensure that if i make a fault in marraige, fine i pay for the mistake. But if i was a good husband then i should be able to protect all i have earned throughout these years with so many sacrifices

* please help me see the light at the end of tunnel that still we can have loving families in this modern age where divorce laws are from 1950s, completely crushing men who get married

Where to keep downpayment money if I’m still a ways from purchasing a house?

I’m planning on purchasing a house next year (probably around next year).

I usually don’t keep much cash in my savings. I usually invest my money as soon as I receive it, but because I’m purchasing within a year, I haven’t done that.

I’ll have the downpayment ready in the next few months, but I also don’t really want to have it sitting in my bank. Stocks are cheap right now, so I’m pretty tempted to buy with my downpayment money, but if the market crashes further in the next year, then that would probably delay me from purchasing a house, so I’m wondering what other options I should explore in my position.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you’re looking to buy a house in under a year, you should just keep the money

• Your investment horizon is 9-mo. You should not put in stocks. 

• in our current interest rate environment and your shop period, seems like even just a savings account would do.

• Do not invest in the stock market for time horizons closer than 5 years.

• “Stocks are cheap right now” sure compared to January 2022, but you don’t know what the price will be in 6 months or a year or 2.

I (20F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for a few years. We live together with two dogs. I go to school and he works.

Since we’ve been here, I’ve figured out that he’s really lazy. He rarely brushes his teeth or showers unless he is instructed to, he doesn’t do the laundry unless explicitly told multiple times, he has skipped work the past two shifts saying he’s sick.

All he does is lay in bed and play video games. Any other thing he acts like is too hard, too much work. He only works 3-4 days a week part time and it doesn’t pay the bills. He pays like $400 on our 1500 rental.

My mom pays for our groceries, his phone bill, and other things. Pretty much everything and he just expects it. He doesn’t act grateful, he is mean about my mom and talks about how annoying she is.

I just feel like he is a weight dragging me down at this point. I have big goals in life and I don’t see him being a part of them with the way he acts right now.

His entire life almost is video games. I like to have fun, he likes to sit at home. Which is fine sometimes, but it’s ALL he wants to do.

He has been like this since I’ve known him in some ways. He lost his mom right before we met and lost his dad last year. I can understand that taking a toll mentally, but I am seriously drowning just sitting around waiting for him to do something and act like he gives a damn about what I want.

Any advice is appreciated, I’m at my breaking point in this.

This is Why I’m Having An Affair…

Tomorrow is my birthday, and every year throughout the year I show my husband in stores things I would like. He offers to buy them then, but I just show him ideas.

One item, in particular, I have been wanting for 8 years. I show it to him every year when it’s on sale as it’s like $300. He never remembers come Christmas or my birthday. I make lists with the item, colour, price and stores you can find it at.

This year was the same, Sunday night he asks me what I want, I tell him a certain $50 Bluetooth speaker you can get at most places (lazada, shopee)… I tell him the price and model. He says nothing and goes to sleep.

He was off yesterday and today, he stayed home while I wfh and slept all day. Today his mother called and asked what I wanted, he said he knew of one item but nothing else and that im so hard to buy for. She asked was he going to get the item and he said he’d try.

Again, he double checks the name brand and model and says ok.

Later on today he tells me that he wants me to go to the store with him after my shift ends to go “pick something out” because I’m so hard to buy for and maybe we’ll find something.

I feel so hurt. I asked for one item and even before that he never paid attention.

Tomorrow AP remembered an item I had been wanting for awhile and went out and spent $200 on it a week ago and made sure it came in on time.

Point being, it feels like a direct reflection on how they care about me.

I (28f) thought my ex (32m) and I had a wonderful relationship for the last two years, but I guess I was wrong.

We met kicked it off. He was tall, cute, nerdy and a great lover, but last week he called me crying, apologizing and letting me know he cheated and that I need to get tested for chlamydia. I ended up having it and I was prescribed a round doxycycline to get rid of it.

He refused to tell me the names of the women he cheated on me with at first, which I needed to know so I could contact them to get tested so I called his mom and she forcibly sat him down at her dinning room table and got him to give up two names (it’s now been five names).

The one girl he cheated on me with was engaged and now her fiance is leaving her, and I had to deactivate my Facebook, because her family and friends wouldn’t stop harassing me for him leaving her and we’re threatening to call my work place and tell them I’m dirty and have STDs.

I also contacted the boyfriend of the other girl who’s name he gave up, but since I don’t want to reactivate my Facebook I don’t know how to contact the other people he named after her so they can get tested.

Some people think that I shouldn’t had gotten ahold of their boyfriends, because it just caused me drama, but my ex was refusing to inform anyone that he might had given them an STD because he didn’t want anyone to get angry with him, so I felt like I didn’t have a choice, because if I didn’t tell them no one would of.

Has anyone else very been in this situation and how did you handle it?

So as it says above, my partner was caught by his boss as “pulling a sickie”. He went on holiday for 2 weeks which was authorised, but what he didn’t say was that Friday was the day of the flight and he was not on leave.

He emailed at 4 am on the way to the airport saying that he would not be in as he had been throwing up.

Now he’s not entirely wrong, he was actually ill. It’s a matter of fact though that he was never going to come in as he had a flight at 10 am, and his boss knows that.

He went to work yesterday and was handed a letter stating he’s on administrative leave until Friday when he will have a disciplinary hearing for leaving the business without cover and dishonesty.

He knows he f up, it’s his first job and it was bloody stupid of him.

He only works for a small IT company of about 4 employees. I think he must have just thought pulling a sickie is fine as you see it in media and such.

What can he do to get the best out of this situation or possibly keep his job? (deep apologies are a given…)

Here are what netizens think:

• There’s not much that can be done really other than assuring his employer that he won’t do it again. If he is a valuable employee then he will likely be able to keep his job but there will be a lot of questions asked should he have any future sick days.

• Admit his guilt /grovel / plead etc , assure them it will never happen again and will use this as a “learning” experience to improve himself and to ensure he fully understands the companies absence policy . he will be lucky to keep his job tbh , at the very minimum i would expect formal disciplinary action

• There is no legal standpoint that can be offered because things like this will be in the contract or the employee handbook. I can give you the benefit of my own personal experience though.

I graduated from uni during peak Covid & it was hard to get a job so I settled for a traineeship.

They offered me a contract position afterwards which I’m thankful for but now that I’m married and saving up for our home, I’m looking for a new job with more salary before my contract ends. (This process has also taken a toll on me)

I’m not earning much, & my husband and I are also currently renting a place. I contribute significantly less than him for our place but still 1/5 of my salary goes to rent. and I also have my study loan to pay. on top of the other bills like phone, subscriptions and groceries (altho my husband usually pays for that unless it’s me shopping on my own)

We also currently stay in Jurong while my family stays in Pasir ris so every weekend we travel sometimes via grab/hitch/train as that’s what my mum insisted.

If i don’t visit that week she will start her drama of “you don’t care about me etc etc” so to avoid that we just put aside one day every weekend to spend time with her.

but bcos she stays home everyday whenever we visit, she wants to go out here and there and have dinner outside with us and my siblings.

My siblings are younger, one is still in school and another one just started working with a small salary. So you guessed it, everytime we go out and have these dinners I usually pay the most if not for all of it.

My husband helps sometimes but I feel guilty as this is for my family and he pays for everything else in our home that i will usually just say it’s okay.

anyway i’m sharing all this so that there’s an idea of where my money goes monthly. i used to give my mum money previously when i was not married maybe around $400 a month.

it started reducing abit bcos i was paying for my own wedding. then now that i live some place else and have all these expenses i told her that i’ll give her money when i can but if she ever needs she can just ask. i told her also since i’m paying for these weekly outings i can’t afford to give her money monthly on top of that.

but here’s the take, she got angry. and say that i shouldn’t think of giving her money as a burden and should give her money for blessings.

i tried explaining to her and hope she will understand but the worst of it all is she can even complain when i give her $200 and say it’s too little. i’m really struggling here i barely have enough savings. how do i make her understand? she’s also going thru a divorce and still refuse to look for a job she can do. instead she wants to still stay at home and do nothing and expect us to give her money. am i wrong here?

So I (18F) started a successful e-commerce (dropshipping) business when I was around late 16/early 17.

It was rough in the beginning but now I’m averaging at bound $12K a month from it. I still plan on going to uni etc but i’m currently on a gap year.

I recently told my parents about it and since I’ve grown up poor and my mum struggled with keeping a job while my dad works abroad I thought i could help pitch in for maybe some rent/utility bills?

I didn’t tell them beforehand because they’re quite old-fashioned/traditional and heavily believe in just having a regular job and working hard from there, I was scared to tell them because of their reaction to me starting a business and making lots from it at a young age.

I think i was kinda scared they were going to think what I was doing was wrong.

The installment of our new place is about $4.9k a month and told my parents that I was willing to pay $4k and they pay the rest and everything else. (food, phones, and the remaining 0.9k). I’m not just doing it for them or me but also trying to do it for my siblings and make sure they have a decent place to call home.

I didn’t really want to pay more in bills as the amount i make from my business can fluctuate and to make sure we can have a place to stay each month i wanted to just pay 4k.

However, my parents were super mad at this and told me I was selfish, disrespectful etc and that all the money I should send to them as I wouldn’t be able to handle it properly. my mum now wants to stop working and so does my dad and i’m scared that they’ll be completely reliant on me.

i still tried to explain to them that i’m still their kid and they shouldn’t be too reliant on me for paying everything. and what would d happen if I suddenly stopped the business or if it didn’t last 5+ yrs? They want me to spend egregious amount on shopping, food, luxuries etc but I still want to invest and keep some to travel during my gap year 8 as able to get into uni and i deferred my offer, 

im quite scared of my parents but i understand where they are coming from. we dont really have alot so i think this amount is kinda crazy to them. i want to get them nice things and help pay rent in a nice area but i don’t think i can afford all of this. i know i should be thankful for my parents for all the yrs they’ve put in but idk it feels weird them wanting to take money from me.