I 21f have a colleague who doesn’t like to follow rules and regulations.

I am 30 years old male, married with 1 kid and already moved into our new BTO.

Wife and I met 8 years ago, got married 2 years ago and have a kid 1 year ago.

Starting of the relationship was ok, she is ok for me to smoke and portray herself as those very nice and understanding woman. Slowly 1 year into the relationship, her true colour slowly review itself. She say I smell so bad after smoking and refuse to kiss me. I respect that as non smokers usually dislike the smell. So everytime when I’m out with her, I would leave my cigarettes in the car. I have to pay for every single thing and dinner at coffee shop seems unbearable for her.

Moving forward a bit, we had a huge quarrel with her about 4 years into the relationship as she found out that I owe my credit card debt for about 14k. FYI, I don’t buy stuff for myself, I don’t drink, don’t party and don’t game.

All my money were basically spent on her and us. She love to compare me and her life with those influencer’s and their boyfriend. Her attitude towards me is like towards a dog and she constantly scolds me with vulgar everytime she has mood swing. Her mood swing can be a weekly thing which traumatised me a lot. And she chose to dump me knowing that I am on debt. Felt really hurt inside as I chose to put myself in debt just so I can spend on her and let her lead the kind of life she wants to, but it’s still not enough to satisfy her. I chose to accept and left. And it was just that day itself when I got dumped, a very good female friend of mine since poly days contacted me and asked me out to chill, so since I’m down, I said ok and met up with her. Told her exactly what happened and she told me if she has a boyfriend like me, she would cherish so much and never let go (she knows how I treated all my exs and we were there for each other everytime we have BGR issue).

So I joking said, “when is our turn to be together?” , and she say actually she likes me too and if I have the same feeling towards her too, we can get together. I’ve read stuff online saying that best friend who got married usually last forever. We know exactly how our past were like, as such we will not quarrel over a lot of stuff new couples might face. I told her that I’m in debt and not able to buy her stuff and bring her for holidays, and she say she is ok to be the one paying and ok to eat bread with me until I clear off my debts. I’m so touched inside and I admit I had a crush on her before, and we got together.

Few weeks went by, my ex that I mentioned above came calling me, texting me and even came to my house begging me to come back and giving all the reasons that she could think of and how remorseful she were. I rejected her and said nasty things to her but she was very determined to get me back. Ultimately, still not moved on yet from her, I chose to let down my best friend and got back to her and indeed she was a changed person. But it was the worst decision I have ever made in my life. Shortly after we reconcile, probably 1 year later, her pattern came back and it got even worse. Nearing to our bto completion, I have to follow the flow and proposed to her, got married and move in our new house.

We had a child and I did everything I can to help. From feeding, to bathing to washing and cleaning, from doing ALL household chores and wash clothes mop floor hang clothes keep clothes wash milk bottle sterilised bottle, I paid for house renovation loan, wifi, utility bills, milk powder and every single meal including breakfast to dinner. She was not satisfied. She still compare her life with me with influencers. She said what I did was what I should as a husband and daddy and that I never do anything for her but only for our child. She complains how I never bring her to holiday after giving birth a child for me and says I never buy branded bags for her anymore. Honestly, I’m in debt again and I can’t tell her. She is the type that I can’t share any of my unhappiness or difficulties to her because she will have an even bigger reaction.

When baby is sick, we all can’t sleep and she will start go crazy shouting at our infant baby and telling me how I didn’t help her and even say she has market value still and don’t dare her to go look for another older richer man. She has been scolding vulgar to me and threatening to divorce me. I really don’t understand what have I done wrong or what have I not done enough. When I’m tired from work, she says don’t bring work back home ad affect the family, but she does that herself every single day. If it wasn’t for my child, I would have fought back and agree to a divorce. I’m so lost now.

I am married for 6 years.

Suddenly I notice the change in my wife. It’s living lifestyles, no cheating or what.

Partly both also at fault. Let’s not talk about the faults. I have 2 wonderful children age 3 n 4. My wife don’t do house work. She want to focus on her career. Recently she keeps want to go overseas with her female friends.

But she is not interested to go with her family. To me I feel like go overseas should b we family go together. Anyway, we never been overseas before as we feels there is too much stuff to bring and kids still young can’t walk by themselves. But recently I did suggest we go overseas together but she isn’t interested but she wants to travel with her friends.

She feels she married too early the kids is obstructing her to do what she wants whether it’s work or traveling. I told her every parent are the same. I also don’t travel, most mother also won’t travel overseas without her kid or family. U are not the only one making sacrifices.

Now she says she wanna do stuff that only makes her feel happy. Any comments on this?

Here are what netizens think:

• What nonsense is this? Just because other mothers don’t have the privilege of a supportive husband or system in place, does not mean you got to subject her to such “noble” sacrifices? Is she going to relax when going on trips with family and young children? She’s gonna be a full time nanny lugging children planning packing everything. Think about how entitled you sound in this post.

• Even after being married, it is important to have balance in life. Time with family, friends and socializing. Let your wife travel with her friends, be understanding and perhaps you can help look after the kids while she travels so that she can unwind. Maybe you can plan a family trip next time and cover the expenses. Or otherwise start with a staycation first. Send her to the airport and see her off.

• it’s different travelling with her friends vs travelling with family. she’d be more carefree and unwind with them while travelling with young kids.. it’s a chore. i would suggest you let her go with her friends and let her know to limit to # a year as you don’t like it. (idk why you dont like it unless no one help with the kids?)

Since early childhood days with my girlfriend, she told me specifically not to wash my “there” as she likes the smell of it.

However every time after showering if I wash my “there” away she would get angry as she said she can’t smell the smelly vinegar and rotten odour.

There was once, I was looking to sunat and found a doctor to do it but she got angry with me and wanted to break up with me. From then on, I didn’t dare to sunat nor wash my “there” as I was worried she will break up with me.

It got to a point where it was so smelly that the itch was unbearable and I had to see a doctor. The doctor was shocked at the look of it when he examined and suggested that I will need to start washing if not it will get worse. I then explained the situation to him and soon after he started covering his nose and said that this is abnormal.

I consulted my friends and they soon started saying that it is not normal. But I read online somewhere that they to understand each other’s differences. So I’m still thinking about it that should I wash or not wash? The itch is unbearable.

Here are what netizens think:

• Either you start washing or go for a sunut, if not very soon become potong. Then your gf don’t even have a chance for any vinegar smell.

• What childhood days define childhood please.

• She trying to farm for Blue cheese? Or she likes playing peekaboo?

• Dude, wash it and dump yo “gf” lol

My Foreign husband, who left us years ago, has returned.

I’m married to a foreign man. I met him during my overseas studies then he attended my college as an exchange student. We got off well from our project work and enjoyed each other’s company. I moved in with him and not long after, we were a couple. I liked his sense of humour, maturity and independence. I feel secure with him.

We were together for 2 years. After we graduated, he proposed to me. We have initially been through some resistance from both our families, but they eventually gave in and wish us well. We moved back to Singapore as he had agreed to live with me at my place. He got a decent job and so did I.

Soon he has gotten PR status and we officially tied the knot. We bought a resale and soon had a child. All is well, at least that’s what I thought. Soon he started to drift away from us. He leaves early and works late; he skips family events and friends’ meetups. He starts to get impatient with me and my boy but never really yelled at us. I can feel he is upset about something but whenever I ask, he said it’s nothing. Then one day. He took his passport and disappeared.

I when to his workplace and his boss thought he was on MC. I tried to call and texted him but failed. I called their parents in their country, but they were not aware of his whereabouts. No one knows when he went. I made a police report and after investigating they had determined that he left the country. His parents made a police report too as he did not return home either.

I will never forget that stressful week looking for him. Then suddenly I received a long text from him. He said he was growing tired of “Asian life and family life” and wanted some time to recharge and in his words “find the light and purpose in my life again”. These words are puzzling and totally out of his character as he has never complained about his life. It is also not as if he is stuck here as he frequently travels to his hometown to run errands or catch up with his family.

I was thinking perhaps he needed his own space and didn’t “force” him to come back. I messaged him to take care and come back when he is ready. He replied for me to give him a few weeks and promised to remit money to me once he found a job.

Weeks became months and soon he was gone for a year. Throughout the year he did send money back to me although the amount is inconsistent. However, all my texts were not answered. I called his family, but they slowly distanced themselves from me and stopped answering my call after a few months. When I travelled to his hometown, I realised his family has moved and he is still nowhere to be found. And soon the money didn’t come too but that is unimportant. I feel depressed and helpless, resigning to the fate that my husband has abandoned us. I had to lie to my boy, telling him daddy was working overseas. I was under medication for depression for a while but recovered thanks to the motivation from my boy.

It’s been 8 years. For 8 years my boy and I survived and stayed strong. For 8 years my status is still married but I raised my boy like a single parent.

Last month, without any warning, he called me. He told me that he has “awakened” after the pandemic and missed me and my boy dearly. He told me he is deeply sorry and will not leave us again. At first, I was delighted and relieved. Then I felt confused and felt scared. My boy was angry and against his return. He thinks my husband is using us as a refuge.

Last week, I picked him up at the airport. He looks slightly different, more unkempt and tired, but otherwise still himself. We embraced but he felt like a stranger to me. I asked him what he has been doing, he said he travelled from town to town, city to city in his country to work and experience a different form of lifestyle and to gather his thoughts and find his way and he ultimately when full circle realised the answer was all along us. I didn’t probe further as I see no point in that.

Now at home, I felt awkward with him around. My boy avoided him most of the time and locked himself in the room. My husband told me to give him some time and he will make it up for us. But after a week I realised my boy and I had moved on without him. I was clear now that I wanted a divorce to have closure on my current life and status.

I will speak to him when he is ready, but I just want to post my story here in case things turned ugly.